


The Simple Life

by JustBFree5



Category: Revenge (TV)
Genre: CPR, Confrontation, F/M, Fire, Friends to Lovers, Male-Female Friendship, Manipulation, Secrets, Skinny Dipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-11
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-02-24 22:38:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 89,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2599103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustBFree5/pseuds/JustBFree5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"We've come this far, but it's finished now. It has to be." Emily and Nolan, when it's over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It had been a long winter.

A blizzard of heartbreak on all sides, preceded by confusion, betrayal and violence that had lasted for months. The victims were countless, all of them close casualties of a retribution over a decade in the making. Poor Charlotte had allowed her misery at home manifest itself into a drug addiction that had nearly killed her, Jack had suffered the loss of the only woman he'd truly loved and Daniel had been rendered helpless as his family crumbled from within.

Truly, Emily had taken no pleasure in their pain. Even before she began, Takeda had warned her that there would be others who suffered. They would be the price of her vengeance. Emily had accepted that. Not happily, but she had accepted it.

They were mere days from the end now – a life of freedom from constant deception was so close they could taste it. What they would do with this freedom, they did not yet know. Their years together had been consumed with her revenge.

Freedom seemed such a foreign thing.

Emily nested the phone between her shoulder and her ear as she unlocked the front door of the beach cottage, her words cautious and tense. The summer sun had set, though the air was still heated. A fine sheen of sweat had built on her forehead, but more from anxiety than the season.

Further evidence had come to light in Conrad's devious business dealings – he had been imprisoned for several months already, the charges laid against him promising that his years ahead would be spent behind bars.

But simply being revealed as a crook in Armani had never been Emily's intention. It was not enough for the world to know that Conrad had expanded his father's business by exploiting every dollar fed to the beast by unwitting clients. His other, more personal sins had to be unveiled: the crimes carried out by the thugs on his unofficial payroll, all of those who had been intimidated, beaten or killed by Conrad's command.

Emily would see him in prison for the rest of his life, and Victoria would not be far behind her man. Already federal agents were closing in on her past as a fraudulent art dealer and the part she'd played in several conspiracies over the years, both petty and grand, both in collusion with Conrad and without.

While Daniel had done all he could to keep his family together, even taking on the mantle of the Grayson patriarch and sacrificing his love for Emily in the process, nothing could be done to reverse the damage that had been done in revealing the truth of what his parents truly were.

"You sent them? The documents, the pictures…and what about those videos from-"

"This is _me_ , remember? I wouldn't forget those, they're really the icing on the cake. I wish I could be a fly on the wall when it all gets to the judge."

They had come so far, but then they had thought themselves near the end before, only to have another level of the Graysons' devpravity rise to their attention. If they were to have victory pulled from their grasp yet again…he wasn't sure how much more disappointment Emily could take.

She was tired of all this, he could hear it in her voice now and he had seen it in her eyes for weeks.

"How much longer until everything's fully encrypted?"

"Oh, it's all wrapped up in a nice anonymous bundle. I hit 'send' about half an hour after my program finished the encryption."

"Why did you wait half an hour?"

He tried for a joke, "I'd just done my nails, didn't want to risk chipping the polish."

As far as his jokes went, that one didn't go far. He told himself she just hadn't heard that brilliant line.

"And everything is in place for the trial?"

On the other end of the line, Nolan ran his fingertips over the tablet screen, idly looking over the audio files, the photos and documents that had just made their way from his computer to one in the law offices of Sheffield & Hapley, which housed the prosecutors who – God willing – would put the Graysons away for the rest of their lives.

"Yes ma'am, I sent everything to our lovely prosecutor from an untraceable e-mail account. She'll have everything she needs to hang Conrad and Victoria before she finishes her first cup of coffee tomorrow morning."

"You're sure?"

"Positively positive, babe." He could hear the tension in her voice and attempted to reassure her, "Emily, this will all be over soon."

Stepping into her house, Emily allowed herself to smile. "Now there's a thought. I don't know what I'll do - ugh!"

Nolan shot out of his chair at the noise. "What was that? Emily, are you there? Emily!"

Through the phone, he could hear the sounds of a struggle.

There was no time to stop and mull over things; loyal dog that he was, Nolan grabbed his keys and booked it to Emily's.

_______________

The car, lovingly referred to as the Rossmobile by its owner, shot down the road – a gleaming silver bullet of steel at 90 miles an hour. Nolan didn't care if he attracted the attention of police, he'd gladly lead them in a chase straight to Emily's and pay whatever fine he incurred thanks to his reckless driving.

The roar of the engine and the squeal of the tires cut through the still night as the car swung hard around the curve of the street. At any other time, Nolan might have congratulated himself on his badass driving skills, but his mind was racing with real fear for his friend.

_Come on, come on, I have to get there!_

Nolan skidded to a hard stop before Emily's beach house and launched himself out of the car, long legs carrying him up the walkway. He'd caught the scent of fire the moment he left the car, and as he neared the house he could see flames in the windows.

"Oh my God, Emily!"

Heart pounding, Nolan ran harder than he ever had in his life, but stopped short as a figure came into view on the curve of the walk.

"Emily?"

He moved closer and found that, no, it was not Emily standing in the darkness before him.

It was Victoria, simply standing, watching as the fire spread throughout the house.

Nolan pulled her arm, turning her to face him. "What happened? Victoria, where's Emily? Is Emily still in there? Tell me!"

She looked away from the flames, but her eyes weren't meeting his, she was looking straight through the man. "It was her – all the trouble started when that girl came here…now she's gone and everything will be the way it was…"

Nolan saw then, what she had done, how far Victoria was willing to go and how broken she'd become.

Not that he was in any way sympathetic.

He lashed out, long fingers curling into a hard bony fist aimed with a decade's worth of anger straight for Victoria Grayson's frozen face. She went down hard, and he didn't waste any more time with her. She was finished.

The man was scared as he ran toward the house, truly terrified, but more afraid to give in to his own cowardice. He'd failed Emily in the past, he'd be damned if he failed her now. The heat of the fire roared even from the yard, radiating out to him, pulsing with each step his took toward the house. Sweat beaded on his skin and his hair whipped in the wind.

Nolan reached the deck and took a deep breath of air, then rallied himself and kicked open the front door. There was no hesitation as the man plunged into the heat.

His eyes flooded as a wave of smoke and drifting embers hit his face but Nolan blinked away the tears. The house was swarmed with flames, the greedy fire feasting on the walls, the pillar, the stairs, the curtains and the furniture. His heart pounded in his chest – _he had to find her._

"Emily! Emily!"

Nolan coughed but forced his voice through the smoky catch in his throat, "Emily! Damn it, Emily, answer me!"

He moved about the flames in his desperate search through the first floor of the house but he saw her then, the length of the woman sprawled across the living room floor, behind the sofa. Nolan shoved the couch out of his way and knelt beside her, silently praying that she was still alive.

He touched her head, turning her face toward him but his hand came away from her with blood smeared over his palm. Emily did not open her eyes. He couldn't tell if she was breathing.

"Oh, God – Emily, wake up, please wake up!"

The fire was growing with each second, the smoke outside rising in a great black geyser. Flames were licking about them, creeping ever closer; the house was being devoured. He could hear the sound of cracking wood coming from above – soon the roof would cave in fully upon them.

There was no time. If he couldn't get them out of the house, then they would die together in the fire.

Nolan wasn't ready to die – and he wanted Emily to have the chance to do more with her life than obsess over those who'd wronged her family.

_We are **not** dying here._

Nolan stripped off his blazer and put it over Emily, then lifted her into his arms and carried her toward the door. He was stronger than even he knew. Stinging sweat dripped into his eyes, but Nolan surged forward, determined that, even if Emily was already dead, he wouldn't let her be buried in the burning rubble of her father's house – the unknown girl that the world forgot.

No. She deserved better than that, damn it, and so did he.

The man grit his teeth against the stench of his own burning skin and hair as he shoved his way past the twisted debris blocking the doorway.

Fresh air swept over them as he crossed the threshold – the summer air seeming arctic compared to the furious, smothering heat within the house.

Nolan hustled away from the fire and knelt on the grass, laying Emily down on the lawn before him. The crackling burn of the house was too loud for the man to tell if she was breathing; he took two deep breaths for himself before he tilted Emily's head back, covered her mouth with his own and breathed life back into her body. He pressed his hands to her chest and pumped, then gave her breath once more.

Again.

Again!

_Again!_

Nolan cried out and nearly wept in relief when Emily coughed and began gasping for air on her own, taking great gulps of fresh air. She rolled to her side, coughing painfully, spitting and groaning. She looked like hell but the woman was _alive_ – beautifully, vividly alive!

He rose over her and cupped her face in his hands, pressing his forehead against hers. "You're alive, I knew it, I knew it – Ems, you're too damn stubborn to die!" He laughed, joy swelling in his chest and erupting in his wide smile and tears.

Emily continued her hacking cough and turned away from him, groaning at the pain of each breath her lungs struggled to take. Nolan knelt beside her as she rolled onto her side once more, her body fighting, lurching in its furious demand to survive. He put his hand on her, alternately rubbing her back and shoulders as she fought to breathe.

Nolan watched her through watery eyes and felt the hammering of his heart begin to slow. Emily was alive, that was what mattered, but she was hurt. Blood was still oozing from the wound on her head. They needed help and so did the house. His earlier panic slid away in the tide of his relief, and the man was once again able to _think._

He took a deep breath and reached for his cell phone.

All he could do was wait for the police to arrive and watch as Emily's house burned into the night.


	2. Chapter 2

Lead officer James McQueen followed the shrieking ambulance and fire engine up the road to the North Shore, an area of supreme wealth even by the typical standards of the Hamptons. It'd been an unusually urgent call – claims of an arson fire and attempted murder, a far cry from the usual fare of parties gone out of control thrown by summering teenagers.

The man who had called it in claimed to be Nolan Ross, one of the more well-behaved residents of the area, though the call was not from his own home – a modern structure built into the low southern cliffs. McQueen couldn't recall having to deal with any domestic disturbances or DUIs as far as Mr. Ross was concerned, so the man must keep his nose pretty clean. Either that, or the man kept his dirty secrets well under wraps.

Unlike most on the force, McQueen didn't resent the wealthy. Not much, anyway. It wasn't fun to be reminded that a year of his salary couldn't pay for the doorknobs on most of the mansions in the area, but he only had to remind himself that the wealthy were simply people. Their blood was as red as his own, and so he didn't question the validity of the call or hesitate to follow the medics. Mr. Ross's voice had been steady enough as he'd spoken with the dispatcher, explaining that he'd pulled an injured woman from a house fire that had been set by a deranged neighbor.

His partner pulled the car to a hard stop and they followed behind the fire crew who lead the way toward the structure. Two medics came upon a brunette woman unconscious on the walk, and McQueen heard a voice call out to him, "Officer! Over here, please help her!"

McQueen moved further into the shadowed grass and saw them - a man was kneeling over a dazed woman struggling to breath. "I need a medic over here, now!" He bellowed as he rushed to the pair.

He knelt down and tried to catch the man's attention.

"Are you Nolan Ross? Did you call this in?" He asked the younger man.

The man tensed as McQueen reached down to check the woman, who was visibly struggling to breath. "Yes, yes I'm Nolan and - hey, get your hand off her!"

McQueen moved his hands away from Emily, noting the sudden flash in Nolan's eyes. He could hear the EMTs approaching them and addressed the man in a steady voice.

"Sir, my name is James McQueen, I'm a police officer. I need your statement, but first I need you to move back and let the medics do their job, all right?" McQueen asked. "They're here to help your friend."

Clearly, Mr. Ross was in a state of high tension. His posture over the woman and the wild look in his eyes were familiar to the officer. He'd seen the same thing in parents and spouses after a trauma – adrenaline can overwhelm logic when a person is thrown into true danger. Hell, he'd once seen a mother attack a paramedic for starting work on her son after a car wreck.

McQueen eased between Nolan and Emily, just in case the man tried to stop the EMTs from touching her. Thankfully, Nolan stood and moved back.

Two medics moved in, approached them quickly, and Nolan was, once again, made to feel useless as they went to work on Emily. McQueen kept his hand braced against Nolan's chest, keeping him back.

"Mr. Ross, I'll need you to come down with me to the street - we need your statement about what happened here tonight. Do you understand?"

The man took a few steps back, understanding why the officer had separated him from Emily. He moved to give them space, crouching in the grass to watch as the medics laid her flat on her back, turned her head, shined their lights in her eyes, touched her neck and wrist to time her pulse, spoke to her, spoke to each other, spoke into their radios…

"Yes, all right. I can give the statement."

Nolan ran his hand over his face, his stomach twisting with dread. Emily had been breathing on her own when the medics came to her, but it was anyone's guess what Victoria did to her before he had pulled her from the house. Emily wasn't out of danger yet.

He felt sick watching her being touched and prodded by the men, and so turned away to get himself under control. He knew the medics could do worlds more for the woman than he could, but just watching was torture.

_They're medics, they can take care of her…I'm no good here_ , he thought to himself, struggling to reboot his brain from survival-mode and re-engage his critical thinking. _Get it together, Nolan. The medics are here to help. I need to talk to the police and tell them it was Victoria who did this. Tell them she attacked Emily and set the fire…Christ, I need a drink!_

He rose and staggered down the walkway to give his statement to the other officers who had already made quick work of securing a perimeter. No Grayson was there gawking behind the police tape – a small blessing, he supposed, though there were more than a few neighbors gathering to see what would unfold.

McQueen caught up to him and the man answered every question the officer asked as honestly as the situation would allow, and through it all, Nolan felt as if he was floating, watching the entire scene from a place outside of his own body. He wondered if that was normal.

The lead officer thanked Nolan for his help and commended his actions in saving Emily, but once Nolan had given his statement the police cruiser was quick to disperse, leaving the medics and firefighters to tend to the injured and the house.

His eyes met with Victoria's as she looked out from the backseat window.

He stood there on the pavement and watched as the taillights swept down the street before he sank down to sit on the hood of his car.

Years ago, Victoria had used her wealth and position to condemn an innocent man and destroy a child. Nolan felt ice steel over his heart. He would see to it that woman never saw the sun again.

It was his purpose, he thought distantly, to have been witness to all of this, to have guided Amanda through her vengeance and, now that the awful mess was done with, to bring Emily into a life free of deception.

If she lived through the night.

The man cradled his head in his hands, his thoughts racing.

_She has to live, she has to move on from all of this and smile and laugh again, she has to be happy, as happy as she's pretended to be all this time, wearing her happy Hamptonite mask-_

"Mr. Ross…?"

_-she can't die, not now, not now when she's come so far and we're so close to the end, we almost made it out of this without-_

"Mr. Ross?"

Nolan was brought out of his thoughts when he was touched on the shoulder by a small brown hand, the nails neatly filed into buffed ovals. The face that looked down at him was delicate, brown and very concerned. For a moment he mistook her for Ashley.

"She's lucky you were here, sir. Much longer and we'd be searching for a body."

Her accent was more Brooklyn than British.

Nolan looked past her and watched as the other medics loaded Emily's stretcher into the back of the ambulance. "Which hospital are you taking her to?"

"Southampton General. We'll do all we can to stabilize her breathing in the ambulance and then the doctors will take it from there, I'm sure once she's checked out you can take her home." She told him kindly.

Nolan hadn't even thought that far ahead, but yes, he would take her in. No question. "Good, that's good. Go ahead, I'll follow you."

The pretty medic stared at him, "Sir, you need to ride with us."

"I have my car." Nolan said woodenly. He was sitting on the damn thing, after all.

"I don't advise that." She said while she reached for her pen light. Nolan remained still as the woman shined the light into his eyes. "I think you're in shock."

"What're you talking about?"

"Your arm, sir."

Nolan frowned at her, but lifted his left arm and found, to his surprise, that the majority of his left forearm was severely burned, from just under his elbow on to the back of his hand.

"You didn't even notice it, did you?"

Nolan shook his head. No, he hadn't noticed the injury. It took him a moment to find his voice. "I…yes, I'll ride with you."

He followed the medic into the ambulance and tried to stay out of the way while they worked to keep his friend breathing.

_______________

The nurses were thankfully generous in dispensing Nolan's painkillers, effectively numbing his arm before they glazed and bandaged it. He grimaced at his injured limb, useless as it was in a shoulder sling and resting against his stomach while he filled out Emily's medical forms. He was glad to be right-handed.

His mind was back to normal now, even if his body was not.

His doctor, Dr. Thorton, had informed him that he'd suffered severe burns but there would be no permanent nerve damage. Again, a small blessing in a night of chaos. Emily had been struck over the head with some blunt object, and the bruising on her ribs, back and stomach showed that she had been kicked. The woman had been lucky not to get burned in the fire, but she had suffered enough smoke inhalation to keep her under several hours' observation.

So there he sat, his body cramped into one of the plastic chairs of the hospital floor's main lobby, a cup of lukewarm coffee - untasted - sitting on the table before him.

The man signed his name, authorizing Dr. Thorton to do any and everything in his power to save Emily's life, keep her stable and make her well again. Nolan didn't trust many people but he trusted this man.

He finished the paperwork but glanced up on hearing a familiar voice rising at the front desk.

"Please, I have to see Emily Thorne – please, I'm her…fiancé!"

The lead nurse at the desk shook her head, her voice firm as she told him, "I'm sorry sir, but unless you're a family member or listed as her next of kin I cannot disclose any information on a patient-"

Nolan stood up and approached. "Daniel?"

Daniel Grayson, the current default head of Grayson Global and the duped boyfriend-turned-fiancé of Emily Thorne, turned around, clearly surprised to see him there.

"Nolan? What're you doing here?"

Nolan shrugged, thinking that his appearance – the black soot dusted over his clothing and skin, not to mention the smell of sweat and fire that still clung to him – should have spoken for itself. He always knew Daniel was a bonehead. "I could ask you the same thing."

Daniel speared frustrated fingers through his hair and huffed, "I woke up when I heard the sirens from the house and saw Emily's place on fire, I – what happened to your arm?"

"What, this?" Nolan shrugged his arm again, so grateful that the painkillers numbed the sting of the wound. "This is nothing. I strained myself playing X-box."

"Nolan Ross?"

"Right here." He called out, raising his good hand.

A young nurse approached him, her teal scrubs a near match in color to his polo - or, they would have been before his shirt took the tour through the fire. "Have you finished with the primary authorization forms, sir?"

Nolan handed over the clipboard and was immediately handed another with several more sheets attached. _Oh joy._

"I'll need your signature here and here sir – oh, and your initials on the third page - stating that you've authorized us to dispense Miss Thorne's medication and her future release into your care." She explained, holding the clipboard and turning the pages for him.

"Thank you…Clarissa." Nolan said, eyeing her nametag. "When can I see her?"

"She's under sedation but I've been informed by Dr. Thorton that you're allowed into her room."

"Why are they giving you Emily's medical information?" Daniel demanded.

Nolan hastily scribbled his signature where the nurse indicated.

"One of the many perks of being listed as her next of kin."

That answer, of course, did not ease Daniel's frustration. " _You're_ her-? What the hell is going on here, you only met her last year!"

Nolan handed the paperwork back to the nurse. He was exhausted, he was filthy and he was in no mood to dance into another convoluted lie for the sake of a Grayson. He'd had enough.

"Daniel, I'd love to answer your questions but it's been a hell of a night. Don't worry, I'll have Emily call you when she's awake. You should call your mother. I'm sure she'll be able to clear things up for you."

He stepped past Daniel, intent to follow the nurse to Emily's room.

"Nolan? What the hell is going on? Nolan!"

Nolan ignored Daniel calling after him as he moved down the corridor.


	3. Chapter 3

Nolan refused to leave Emily's side as she was brought into the hospital, save for the treatment given to his arm. Even now, over five hours later, he would not budge from her bedside. He sat in a chair, his long fingers laced with her own, his voice silent even as his mind raced – replaying the night's events and making plans for their future.

Everything was in the air now, but the moment was upon him: with Emily out of commission, Nolan was in charge. For months he'd longed for this control, but not like this. Not with the beach house destroyed and Emily so injured.

He squeezed her hand. _No, not like this._

If the man had felt protective of Emily before, then nearly losing her to Victoria's fire had unleashed his inner Doberman. His eyes never left her, not even when his personal doctor, a man Nolan trusted, entered the room to speak with him.

Dr. Thorton was in his late fifties, a man of strong principle and even stronger medical skills. Time and again, he had proven himself to Nolan – no easy task, given the man's near-constant suspicion. But he'd read the report, so the doctor was now willing to admit that perhaps there was something to his patient's paranoia after all.

Certainly, he'd seen his share of tragedies as a doctor: even with all their wealth for treatment, some of his patients succumbed to illness; the Hamptons had seen its share of fatal car collisions and household accidents. Throughout his career he had seen his share of death – but an outright attempted murder was rare.

"…she suffered some smoke inhalation but we're treating her for that now. Due to the sedatives she may be confused on waking…I would be gentle in explaining what happened to her…"

Nolan nodded, absorbing what the man was telling him. He closed his eyes for a moment.

_We came close tonight, way too close._ He thought, giving an involuntary shudder.

Dr. Thorton saw the movement and assumed Nolan was missing his blazer. "You were smart to give her your jacket, it protected her from the fire."

"Yeah, if only I'd been smart enough to bring along a spare for myself." He groused as he stood and flexed his forearm, pacing, testing the wound. Pain raced through him with the movement, but he grit his teeth and refused to let himself crumble before the other man. He had his pride, after all.

_Where's my nurse? Time for more meds – ah, definitely time for more…_

While his courage earlier in the night had been admirable, Dr. Thorton knew Nolan was trying to appear as if the wound caused him no pain. Pointless, really. He had seen men twice the size of Nolan screaming over similar burns.

"Left untreated, there will be scarring but a man of your means has access to the world's most renown cosmetic surgeons. You don't have to carry the scars if you don't want the reminder of tonight." The doctor informed him.

A return to his usual slick appearance was not foremost in his thoughts. "I'll keep that in mind, doc. Thank you." Nolan gestured toward the woman in the bed. "So, when is Emily free to go?"

Dr. Thorton scribbled a new prescription for Nolan. "These will work wonders while you're healing. As for Miss Thorne, I'd prefer to keep her under observation for a few more hours to be safe, but you're free to go if you like. I'm sure you must be hungry."

"I'm starving, but there's no way I'm leaving her." Nolan told him flatly, and he retook his seat at her bedside. "That animal might find another way to come after her and I can't take that chance."

The older man smiled lightly at Nolan's protectiveness. "You're a good friend. Ms. Thorne is lucky to have you. I'll send a nurse to check on her in a bit."

Nolan sighed lightly as the doctor left the room, and he turned back to Emily, still sleeping on the narrow hospital bed. There were sensors on her chest monitoring the beat of her heart, a tube in her mouth and a drip in the back of her hand.

He'd always hated hospitals, but tonight especially. He just wanted to go home. Emily was as helpless as he'd ever seen her and it made him anxious to think that she could've suffered permanent damage to her lungs or even worse, her brain, if he'd been even a few minutes later in carrying her out of the house. But then, if he hadn't been there, Emily would be dead.

_She could have died – this has gone too far. This has to stop._

For the first time since meeting her outside the gates of Allenwood, Emily appeared frail to his eyes. Helpless, weak and completely open to attack. It was alarming to see her this way – the woman in the bed was a stranger to him. This wasn't his ninja in Jimmy Choos, this wasn't his partner in crime, his friend.

She was stripped down, she was just a woman with no one else in the world to depend on. No one but him.

This was a moment of truth. Emily needed him now; not for hacking or for whatever errand he could run in their grand scheme – she truly needed him and he would not fail her.

Doc Thorton had assured him that Emily would be herself once she woke up, but Nolan knew better. She would be more guarded than ever now, and her wrath upon the Graysons would burn tenfold in her fury…if he let it.

_No. It's over._

Nolan shifted in the uncomfortable chair beside the bed, bound to her side by…bound by something, though he wasn't sure if it was just habit at this point, or the obligation of duty to David or a genuine loyalty to her. Maybe he just liked the excitement she brought to his life or maybe he just liked her. He shook his head and sat back, resting his eyes.

_It doesn't matter why anymore_ , he thought, yawning. _It just is._

The why of it all was lost on him, the only thing that mattered was the fact that he would not leave Emily. He hadn't left her when she'd attacked him that first night and he wouldn't leave her now, not now when the end was in sight...they were so close...

Nolan started awake and stood up quickly, his posture tense, but it was only a nurse entering the room and she smiled apologetically at him. "I'm sorry sir, I knocked but there was no answer."

He nodded at the nurse and took a deep breath, checking his phone for the time, surprised to see that he'd actually slept for a few hours in the chair. His body was stiff and the injury to his arm was throbbing anew, but he ignored it.

Emily laid unchanged in the bed, her breathing even and her pulse was steady. He narrowed his eyes as the nurse moved toward the bed to check on her. He didn't trust anyone other than the doc, but the nurse didn't do more than make a note on her clipboard before turning to address him.

"I'll have Dr. Thorton come by the room, Mr. Ross. Her vitals have greatly improved. She should make a fine recovery."

_Music to my ears_ , Nolan thought.

_______________

Emily was trapped beneath a heavy gray fog. It was impenetrable, a barrier between her mind and her body. She was only vaguely aware of what was happening, but she knew that she was cut off, she had lost her control and she _hated_ it.

Under the fog of medication, Emily's mind churned – angry and afraid, a wild dog backed into a corner, baring its teeth and tearing against the smothering restraint. It seemed to be hours that she fought - struggling with whatever strength she had, her mind desperate to punch through and retake control of her body, screaming in frustration that nothing she could do would lift the fog.

Useless.

"…you understand she'll be dazed from her injury and groggy from her medication…but young, strong…no need for a transfusion…antibiotics and pain medication with you…"

The woman could hear broken snatches of a man speaking, a stranger. The damn numbing fog had settled over her mind, weighing down her limbs; she could barely move and though with effort she could open her eyes, the light of the room was so painful that she kept them closed and instead tried to concentrate on listening.

Still, her mind began to wander through blurred memories. Where was she? Who was the man? What was he going to do to her?

The last thing she remembered was…

"-here close to twelve hours…administered oxygen treatment…-full recovery…no side effect...-medication…"

A second, familiar voice cut through the room.

"I'll take her home…be safe-…-no time for…-this again…"

Through the fog settled over her mind, Emily recognized the deep voice of Nolan Ross coming from somewhere above her head, and she was instantly relieved.

_Nolan._

He was there with her, never far from her side.

If Nolan was there, then Emily knew she was safe.

"If you're sure, Mr. Ross."

"I am."

The woman felt a hand touch her own, and she knew it was him.

Emily rallied what strength she could and squeezed his fingers in gratitude.


	4. Chapter 4

Emily had not spoken much other than answering the doctor's questions with either a mumbled "yes" or "no" as they'd been discharged from the hospital. She hadn't looked at the man, and she didn't seem to care what he had to say about her medication and stitches. When she opened her eyes, they were glassy and unfocused.

She was not herself now.

Emily was disconnected from the world, a doped-up zombie of a woman; the doc had assured him that, once she slept off the meds, she would be back to normal. Normal for Emily, anyway, which at times could be nothing short of sociopathic.

Of course, Nolan hadn't shared that little detail with the good doctor. He'd simply signed the release forms and waited to escort Emily from the hospital. He was exhausted, but he couldn't rest yet, not until he had Emily safe at home. It was all up to him now.

After Doc Thorton had left them, promising that a nurse would bring them a wheelchair, Nolan and Emily were left alone. She'd already laid her head back against the pillows, not sleeping, but neither was she alert. He didn't know if what he said would connect in her mind, but he felt that he should tell her what he intended to do. Touching her hand, he leaned in close, "Emily, I'm taking you to my house. We'll stay there until we figure out what to do next."

The woman didn't respond other than squeezing his hand again.

He knew it hurt her throat to speak, but they had no use for words.

It was unspoken that they would take care of each other.

_______________

Per hospital procedure, Nolan rolled Emily out of the building in a wheelchair, overriding her weary protests by guiding her into the thing and making strides down the hallway, his eyes focused ahead on the exit. He walked quickly, his long legs eating the distance to their escape. Each turn of the wheels brought them closer to his home, the safest place for them both.

Even as dazed as she was, Nolan could feel the frustration boiling in his friend's blood – she was going to kill him when the meds were out of her system. She had spent years in control, and to have it ripped from her grasp and taken over by another was surely driving her insane.

Not that she was in much of a position to do anything about it.

The man could have left her in the hospital to sleep off the medication still in her system and come to pick her up later on, but he refused to let her out of his sight. Things had changed. He would do what he could to help Emily, whether she wanted him to or not.

He spoke to her in the elevator on their descent to the lobby. "I know you're mad at me, but if you could hold off on the violence for a little while I'd appreciate it – I've had enough to last me the week."

Emily didn't respond to his joke other than throwing a vague glare his way.

_No jokes, then. Fine._

The man sighed. He was too tired to put effort into the quips anyway. All he wanted in the world was to settle her into his house and then fall into bed for the rest of the month.

_Soon. We're almost home._

The heated summer swept over them as they slipped through the hospital doors, warming their cooled skin.

Nolan paused outside, filling his lungs with a deep breath of fresh air. He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again and found his resolve to press on. This was no place for his weakness – he had an injured woman in his care now, he had to take her to the one safe place they had left in the Hamptons.

_You're not done yet, Nolan. Get moving._

Nolan wheeled Emily to the passenger side of his car and helped her to stand from the chair, then guided Emily into the passenger seat of his Rossmobile. Luckily, he had been able to convince a couple of nurses – Clarissa and another who shared the graveyard shift - to bring his car to the hospital lot, or rather, his transfer of $5000 into their bank accounts had done the convincing for him.

Money was nothing to Nolan, and if he could treat two hardworking nurses as nicely as they'd treated him, then of course, certainly he would.

He glanced at his friend as he waited for the light to change, the lone car on the curving road. Emily slept while he drove back to his house, a tiny thing slumped in the seat beside him. He didn't mind, she hadn't spoken much to him on waking in the hospital room, save for a sincere, very quiet, "thank you".

_You won't thank me when you wake up, Ems._

_______________

Nolan pulled into this driveway, gently woke Emily and then slowly guided her out of the car, up to the front door and over the threshold. Anyone who saw them might have thought Nolan was guiding an elderly relative into his house rather than a dazed young woman.

"Easy, Ems. Easy." He murmured while she took slow, shuffling steps further into the house, awkwardly following him through the darkened front corridor.

She stumbled on the step down that lead into the living room but Nolan caught her before she fell. "It's all right, I've got you."

Finally feeling like the strong one in their relationship, he lifted Emily and crossed the living room. He cradled her against his chest and Emily muttered soft nonsense into his neck.

Nolan did his best to ignore it.

Ironically, the man had always thought that, if the day ever came when he carried a woman to bed, then she would be his new wife. He doubted that day would ever come for him, but he'd made peace with that some years ago.

He shouldered open a door to the right and carried Emily into the guestroom. There were other rooms closer to his own, but he knew that after everything that had happened, she'd prefer to keep her distance from him when she woke in the morning. Nolan didn't let his thoughts linger on the fact that Emily, arguably his closest friend, usually didn't seem to want much to do with him.

He'd never had a guest stay over before, but the room was clean, cozy and held a wonderful view of the beach from the bay window. She would like that. He didn't bother with the lights. The sun was already peeking over the horizon, softly painting the sky in shades of pink and gold.

_A few minutes._

A few minutes had been the difference between Emily dying and Emily being there in the house with him to see the sunrise, a bit worse for wear but very much alive.

Nolan brought her down to the bed. The woman was too light a weight in his arms and he made a mental note to feed her well once she woke up. He sat on the bed at her side, watching as she fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillows, a heady mixture of the hospital's drugs and her own fatigue. It made him feel good to know that she felt safe enough to sleep there in his home.

He didn't know how she'd done it, maintain the illusion all this time – working against the Graysons while making love to their son. But that was over. The Graysons would be in jail for the rest of their lives, and Daniel…he might become a problem going forward, but Nolan had a plan of his own if it came to that.

Emily's vengeance was complete. Nolan would handle the fallout.

_Sleep, babe. You've earned it._

Hesitating only for a moment, Nolan found his resolve and made quick work of stripping off Emily's medical gown; the hospital had done away with her damaged clothing from earlier in the night, save for the plain black panties that graced her otherwise naked body.

In the last year, Nolan Ross had become many things that he was not proud of, but he was no pervert. He didn't let his eyes linger and he didn't touch Emily outside of guiding her arms into the robe he'd taken for her from the closet. He didn't want to see her wearing the reminder of the fire that had almost taken her life.

The man tied the robe at her waist and laid Emily back down on the pillows, sweeping the hair off her face.

Taking a deep breath, Nolan laid down beside her for a moment. The bed was soft, the woman beside him was warm. He was deeply tempted to stay there, to just lie next to Emily and sleep for days, weeks, a year. Yes, it was tempting, but he didn't want her to be upset when she woke up and found him there with her.

The man pulled himself out of the bed and went upstairs to his own room, first for a shower and then to sleep, as always, alone.

______________

A full twelve hours later, on waking with the sunset, Nolan reached for his tablet and checked the surveillance of the room downstairs. Emily was still sleeping in the bed and as far as he could tell she'd barely moved since he'd brought her home.

_Good. She needs her rest._

The man groaned as he moved out of bed and crossed to the bathroom. His body was a mass of knotted muscle, he ached down to his bones. Despite all the hours in bed, he felt drained of all energies mental and physical. Nolan greeted his reflection above the bathroom counter, bleary eyes reading the label on the amber prescription bottle. Each pill was a few hours' relief of the throbbing sting that had become his arm.

Biting the inside of his cheek against the pain, he unraveled the tape that twined over his forearm and then peeled away the bandages that covered the wound itself - a hideous gift wrapped in guaze.

"Aw, God-" he hissed, dismayed by the sight of his own limb.

The skin was a bright, pulsing red, blistered and swollen. The doctor had explained that he'd suffered tissue damage, but that his nerves were mostly intact. He'd be the same, save for the ugly scar he'd carry if he chose to do so.

Well.

Nolan had earned the scar his burn would become by saving a woman from a fire. Proof that, maybe he was a little brave after all. If nothing else, it'd be a great conversation starter the next time he wanted to go out and try meeting new people.

Not that he was in much of a mood to socialize.

Aside from the burn on his arm, Nolan looked like hell. The shower he'd taken the night before had been too short to make much of a difference in his appearance. Really he'd barely done more than splash his face and wet his hair before pouring his nude self into bed.

The man took a step back to fully inspect himself in the mirrored glass, and grimaced at what he saw. Thanks to the hasty shower and his fitful sleep, the length of his body was streaked with soot and the salty residue of dried sweat, giving him a filthy set of tiger stripes. His hair was a plume of shaggy gold atop his head, the bloodshot whites of his eyes made the blue irises absolutely startling.

Oh, yes. Burned, filthy, bloodshot…yes, Nolan Ross had seen better days.

The man scowled at the sunshine invading his room from the windows, but he couldn't go back to sleep now if he tried. His stomach was demanding something to fill it and his injury was demanding new drugs.

He checked the time, then popped two painkillers to ease the throbbing sting. He needed to eat, to speak with her, to recover from the injury, but more than that, he needed to feel clean again.

Nolan checked the tablet screen to look in on Emily once more before turning on the shower to scrub away the night's soot, sweat and terror.

There were things he had to do, plans he had to make.

But there were more important matters to attend to first.

On emerging from the steam, Nolan made one phone call.

That was all it took.


	5. Chapter 5

After having showered and shaved, Nolan bit his lip against the blistering pain as he glazed the wound and rewrapped it in gauze. This was worse than the beatings he'd taken over the past year - even worse than when Tyler had sliced his arm. The burn was a constant throbbing ache that was only muffled by the pills. The man was a fast learner. If Nolan turned his arm in the wrong way or even grazed the burn with too much pressure, then the entire limb would errupt in a lashing sting that left him with tears in his eyes and a stifled scream in his throat.

_I'll be walking on eggshells for days - great._

Truly, he didn't mind his forearm being scarred, he just wanted the damn thing to heal, for that hard throbbing sting to _stop_ so that he could focus his mind on something - _anything_ else. Nearly dying the night before would be enough to fuel his nightmares for the next several decades, but the injury was a constant distraction in his waking life.

The man didn't have time for painful distractions, he had a friend to look after and schemes of his own to hatch.

He'd slept through the heat of the day, and so chose a lightweight shirt of blue linen, its long sleeves would keep his bandages under cover. Shrugging to himself, he slipped on a thin leather glove to hide the bandage on the back of his hand.

Nolan was no fan of Michael, but now he appeared a groupie - wearing one glove like a teenager mimicking his idol.

_Well, fine. I'll make the look mine until the damn thing has healed._

The man looked at himself in the full length mirror of his bedroom, assessing his reflection. The shower had helped to clear his mind, as well as ease his damaged body. He was squeaky clean and looked good as new - or, nearly so. His eyes were still red and he couldn't ignore his injury, but he at least felt like a man again.

The soot had swept off his skin and down the drain, taking his uncertainties along with it.

He knew what he had to do, and he knew it was worth the risk.

_______________

Nolan stepped into the guestroom, trying to be quiet – his intent was to leave a note, a few pills and a glass of ice water on the bedside table for when his friend woke up to her new life.

Stirring under the covers, Emily opened her eyes, trying to focus. "Nolan?"

Her voice was a hoarse crack in the dim room.

"Emily, you're awake – how do you feel?" He asked quietly, moving to sit down at the foot of the bed.

Emily struggled to focus on him through the remains of that hated gray fog that still lingered over her mind. She tried moving to sit up, but dizziness immediately came over her. Her stomach trembled, for a moment she felt that she would be sick. She laid still, her eyes squinting painfully against the waning sunlight filling her room.

"I feel…Nolan…what happened?"

He raised his brows. Dr. Thorton had told him to be gentle in explaining what had happened to them the night before, but that man didn't know Emily Thorne – _gentle_ was not her way. He took a deep breath. "Emily, Victoria attacked you – it happened when we were still on the phone last night, I could hear her rambling through the line. By the time I got to your house, the whole place was up in flames."

In surprise, Emily tried to rise but another harsh wave of dizziness dropped her back to the pillows. "What? What are you talking about?"

Nolan moved closer and held her shoulders, hoping to steady her. "She's gone off the deep end, Ems. Conrad's in prison, Charlotte's disowned her, Daniel's a mess - her whole world has fallen apart. I don't know why, but she said it was all you, that once you were-"

"If she thinks killing me will end her problems, then she must be insane."

The man frowned down at her, "What're you saying?"

Emily shot him a stern look, her eyes as bloodshot as his own. The beautiful little demon thought she had more to do. "I'm saying this isn't over."

"It has to be!" Nolan shot to his feet and strode to the wide window, balling his fist in frustration.

_She can't do this – we've suffered enough._

"I didn't pull you out of that fire so you could turn around and get right back into the thick of this mess." Nolan spoke through gritted teeth, his long-simmering anger rising to the surface. "Listen to me, the prosecutor has an arson and attempted murder charge to add to the list of everything against Victoria. Like we agreed last night, Emily, it's over."

"You saved me?"

Nolan turned back to her, steely eyes filled with new determination.

"Yes. I saved your life, so now it belongs to me – and I say that you're done with this."

"That's not your decision to make!" Emily snapped, throwing back the covers and again attempting to assert herself by sitting up.

Nolan stepped toward her, his voice as hard as she'd ever heard it. "It became my decision when I had to breathe life back into you, damn it!"

His words hung in the space between them, breaking through the fog in Emily's mind, dispelling her rising urge to strike back against Victoria.

"You…thank you for saving me, Nolan."

Her gratitude struck against him, quieting the building storm. When he spoke, his voice had returned to its usual kind purr. "I didn't save you so you could go back to letting this vengeance eat you alive. I saved you so that you could live a real life."

Emily moved to cradle her head in her hands. She felt a rabid headache stirring just behind her eyes, and the ache of her bones was coming alive with her every movement. "A real life…what's that?"

Nolan raised his brows and came to sit on the bed beside her knees once again, "You're asking _me?"_

Emily attempted to smile at him; they would lock horns fairly often, but they never stayed mad at each other for long. Holding a grudge wasn't in his nature, and she needed him too much to risk pushing him away.

Her eyes began to drift over the unfamiliar surroundings of the room. The walls were a creamy vanilla to contrast with the chestnut wainscotting, the wide window facing the ocean was framed with navy blue curtains. There was a silver clock on the wall and a painting of a seascape above the dresser. Her grip tightened on the blanket. "What am I doing in your bedroom?"

The man glanced around the room, thinking to himself that he rarely entered the space – such a large house, and he didn't even make use of all the rooms. "This isn't my room – I mean, I own it, but this is the downstairs guestroom."

"So then my beach house…?"

She let the question hang between them, though he was sure that she could feel it, that somehow she already knew.

"I'm sorry, Emily."

"So it's all gone now."

Such simple words.

The air was heavy in the room, but Nolan was determined to lift her spirit – if her life belonged to him, then he'd make sure it would be a happy one. Considering her life so far, he had his work cut out for him.

He leaned in closer to her, his voice soft. "No, not everything."

He went into his pocket and showed her a picture of David Clarke. The nurse, Clarissa, had allowed him to inspect Emily's clothing before it was destroyed by the hospital staff. Emily cared nothing for her clothes, but that picture…secretly, she'd often kept David's picture with her – the one risk she had carried on her person throughout the entire scheme.

Emily took the picture from him, her eyes tearing at the sight of her father, her kind, betrayed father smiling back at her from the aged snapshot. "How did you do it?"

"Flirted with a nurse." Nolan quipped.

"Thank you."

Her gratitude was not just for the picture, not just for saving her life, but for everything he'd done for her – from their first day, he had been on her side. She couldn't thank him enough, but "thank you" had never been what Nolan wanted. From the start, he'd only ever wanted a real friend. She didn't want to disappoint him.

The man before her shrugged. "I like to humor myself and think you would have done the same for me."

Emily took a deep breath, cradling the photo of her father in her lap. "Where's Victoria now?"

Nolan stood and moved to the window once more, taking in the view, wondering what Victoria was looking at in the same moment. "She should be enjoying the luxury of the Riker's women facility as we speak." He looked back to her, this tiny girl in the bed who watched the world with suspicious eyes. "I saw her outside of your house, Emily. She was watching the house burn with you in it. Just rambling and happy to sit back and watch you go up in flames."

"You talked to her? What did she say to you?"

Nolan shrugged, "Nothing important, and nothing after I put her down."

"You hit her?" The surprise was clear in her voice. Her friend had never been an aggressive man, and certainly he'd never raised his hand against a woman.

Nolan looked away for a moment, uncomfortable to admit to such a thing, even if it had been Victoria. "Yes. The police took her away after I gave my statement."

"What now?"

"Now you'll be here for as long as it takes for you to recover. You got a little smoke inhalation and there's a pretty nasty gash on your head." Nolan gestured to the back of her head and she explored her scalp until her fingertips found the stitches. "Victoria got the drop on you, huh? I guess Queen V has some ninja moves of her own."

Emily glared at him. "It's your fault, you were distracting me on the phone."

Nolan countered her scowl with a smile. "Sure, sure, if it'd been a fair fight you would've beat her up and down the beach, I know. But that's not what happened, and here we are." He winked at her and headed to the door. "I'll let you rest for awhile more, dinner is in half an hour. Hope you like Italian."

"Nolan?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you put this robe on me?"

The man glanced back and smiled cheekily at her. "Yes. Don't worry, Ems, I didn't see a thing."

Nolan ducked, and the pillow Emily threw at him bounced harmlessly against the wall.


	6. Chapter 6

There was something to be said for cooking as both an art and a science. For the past decade Nolan had pleased himself with each conquered recipe and favored new dish; small accomplishments, but he was happy to learn. A man had to have his hobbies outside of work.

He was accustomed to cooking for himself when he stayed in but it was no trouble to add another plate to the table. Having a guest for dinner was a rare thing, but he would much rather have Emily as his dinner guest than anyone else, save maybe Jack and Declan.

Movement caught his eye and Nolan looked up to see the woman emerging slowly from the guest bedroom. She looked terrible, with dark circles under her eyes and her hair a tangled mess. She was exhausted, he knew. Fatigue had been draped over her even before the fire. As she came closer, Nolan caught the faint scent of acrid soot.

The man wanted to lead her into the driveway and hose her down until she shined again.

He doubted she would ever let him do that and live, so he resolved to lift her spirit through food and humor. Put plainly, Nolan didn't like seeing her this way; a rundown, defeated Emily was opposite to everything he knew her to be. He took it on himself to make things right again.

"Emily, you came out just in time."

The girl shook her head, frowning as she leaned against the kitchen counter. His robe was hanging off of her thin frame though she'd belted it tightly in the effort to keep herself covered, not that she had to worry - Nolan had no interest in sneaking a peek when she was in this condition.

"I'm not hungry."

He cringed to hear the crack in her voice; maybe she'd inhaled more smoke than the medics originally thought. The old Ross determination did not wane. "There's not being hungry and then there's being so exhausted that you can't even feel hunger anymore. Sit down and let me load your plate, you're too skinny."

Her eyes lifted to his, "Look who's talking, Bones."

A joke during a time like this was a good sign. "I happen to be blessed with the metabolism of a ten year old – you're the one who's been too busy to eat anything for the past six months. Come on, you can't beat lasagna." Nolan coaxed as he put a plate before her.

He moved to take the seat across from her, his own appetite rising to the occasion.

Emily began to cut into her piece. "You cook?"

Pouring wine for them both, along with a glass of ice water for her, the man shrugged. "One of my many lesser-known talents. I've been watching you starve from stress all year. Eat up, Emily."

Obliging, she took a bite. He'd made a traditional lasagna layered with meat, cheese and sauce. The flavors of oregano and garlic opened themselves on her tongue, the single bite seemed to fill her with a true voracious hunger. Nolan was right, Emily had been depriving herself for too long.

"Oh, this is really good."

Emily had already dug into her next bite.

He was glad to see her eating, and so started on his own plate. "Thanks. You know, back in my MIT days I took a few cooking classes and since then it's sort of become a hobby. I like it. You know how it is, you get tired of ordering in when you're not eating out. It's better to make something for yourself."

Emily looked up at him, her lasagna already half-finished. "I can't imagine you in a cooking class."

"I got sick of Raman noodles and pizza every day. Plus I liked the TA. I probably burned six assignments just to get some extra tutoring." He confided.

"Sneaky."

"You're one to talk."

It was nice, just speaking to her this way – honest stories of his past rather than pairing with her for yet another scheme. He was finished with all that, being her partner in crime and the occasional confidant.

They had grown closer in recent months, and he wanted more from her now. He wanted what was real.

Nolan turned serious for a moment. "How's your head?"

Emily's smile faltered a bit, their banter at an end. "It's doing all right, the migraine is better now than it was before. You were right, eating something has helped already." She looked at him, noting his tense posture, the stiff set to his mouth even when he smiled. She knew the man well enough to know when he was hiding something from her. "Nolan, what about you?"

He hadn't mentioned his own injury and he didn't plan on broadcasting this new weakness to her. Self-consciously, Nolan moved his gloved hand down to his side, off the table and out of sight. He shrugged, retaking his usual carefree expression. "You know me, I'm tough as nails. A little house-fire won't get me down."

His joke did not distract her.

"You risked your life to save me. You didn't have to do that."

Nolan looked at her, sincere. "Yes I did."

Silence hung between them for several long moments as they returned to their meal.

Truly, Emily was impressed with the man's skill in the kitchen. She let her mind wander back, over a year ago when he'd expressed surprise to find out that she could cook, and how he'd quickly learned that she herself possessed many talents.

All of her skills, nearly everything about her – from her own prowess in the kitchen, to the charities she'd become involved with and her choices in clothing and the car she drove – had been part of her constructed identity. She'd researched the people of the Hamptons, studied their preferences and molded herself to fit into their circle.

She had been brilliant in her deception, but now felt as if she'd been set adrift at sea.

What was she going to do now? Was she truly satisfied with her course of vengeance or was there more to do before it was all done?

She didn't know.

She didn't know what to do, and it scared her in a new way.

Without her vengeance, who was she?

Glancing across the table, Emily envied Nolan. Truly she did. To a certain extent he wanted to fit in with the elite crowd, but he hadn't changed himself to do it. He might try dressing the part, but never had he wilted in the face of the pressure to entirely remake who he was. If he had, then he would be no better than Daniel.

The thought of Daniel filled Emily with a sudden uneasiness; the man was not her enemy, but he'd proven himself to be so like his conniving parents, he'd placed power and preserving the family business and pride over everything that was _right._

Daniel Grayson, a follower from the first.

When compared to her friend, Daniel came up short.

For better and for worse, the man was Nolan Ross – from his first day to his last, he was always unapologetically himself.

Emily didn't understand why he'd been so persistent in wanting to help her in the grand scheme. As ungrateful as she'd been to him, as dismissive and as cruel as she had been at times, Nolan had never abandoned her.

"They…the hospital gave me a few things for you." His deep voice broke their silence as he moved to the kitchen and then came back to her, bearing the precious medicine from Dr. Thorton.

He moved to her chair, unfolding his hand to show her two pills. In a lighter moment he would have made a Matrix joke, but after what they'd been through the night before he just didn't have the energy.

Emily stared at the pills. One was an oblong white, the other a deep blue sphere. "What are they?"

Nolan took her hand and tipped the pills into her palm. "One is an antibiotic, to make sure you don't get an infection from that cut and the other is a painkiller. They work, Emily, Dr. Thorton prescribed them to me, too." He added, to reassure her concerns.

He returned to his chair, to his meal, satisfied to see that she had cleaned her plate. With a small smile, Nolan cut another piece and served her.

Emily took a deep breath and then popped the pills, washing them down with water.

Their dinner went on, their banter continued, and they were content with each other's company.

_______________

After dinner, Emily offered to help Nolan clear the table but he warned her away, moving instead to guide her upstairs to his bedroom, to the shower she so desperately needed.

As it turned out, she and Nolan had a few things in common and an appreciation for a long hot shower turned out to be one of them. After the night she'd had, the man insisted that she use the custom-built spa shower connected to his bedroom rather than the standard shower downstairs.

Nolan turned on the faucet and stuck his naked hand into the stall, testing the tempterature for her. "Can't be too careful."

Emily shook her head at him. "You don't have to worry about me."

"Sure, because nothing dangerous ever happens around you, right?" He groused at her.

Shrugging, Emily leaned her hip into the bathroom counter, crossing her arms over her chest. "I tried to minimize the risk. Things just...escalated."

"Understatement of the century, Ems. But I won't hold that against you - not for long, anyway." Nolan flicked water at her and headed to the door. "I'll bring you something to wear. Unless you'd prefer to keep the robe?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "Do you have a dress I could borrow?"

He caught her jab, happy that she seemed to be coming back to herself. _This_ was the Emily he knew.

"Nothing in season, sorry. But I have a t-shirt I can spare. Now get to scrubbing."

As Nolan went off to his closet to find something for her to wear, Emily took a moment to inspect herself more carefully, shrugging out of the robe to look herself over in the mirror. The woman knew she was beautiful, enough people had told her so over the years, but she'd been careful not to let herself become obsessed with her own looks – her careful maintenance routine had been part of the armored disguise to blend in with the Hamptons elite. Her makeup shades had been professionally chosen to compliment her coloring, even her casual wardrobe had always been specially selected for its elegance, and she was never seen with a hair out of place.

That being said, Emily knew when she'd seen better days. Today, she looked like hell.

It wasn't enough that she'd let herself become too thin and miss too much sleep, but now her skin was covered in salt from everything she'd sweated out in the fire, and then dusted over with soot. Her hair was a tangled mass of blonde vines. Her back and ribs were bruised – Nolan hadn't told her how those had come about, but she could guess. She was filthy and she felt every bit of it.

The shower couldn't begin fast enough, she practically dove into the steam.

Arms braced against the wall and as traces of soot slid from her body, sweeping down the drain, Emily couldn't argue with the spa's effectiveness. Her skin pebbled in pleasure under the deluge pouring from the custom-built showerhead. Her body was exhausted from the pain of the fire and Victoria's attack, her mind still numbed from what remained of the hospital's sedatives in her system.

Through the fogged glass, she saw a blur of blue and blonde - Nolan - step into the bathroom and leave something on the counter beside the sink before turning to leave. She doubted he could see her clearly, but even if he could the woman was not concerned. Nothing he hadn't seen the night before, apparently.

Emily thought of nothing else but allowing her body to enjoy the heat of the water, the tingle of Nolan's shampoo and the scent of his soap. She didn't care that she'd end up smelling like a man, she only wanted to be cleansed of the violence, stress and deception that had consumed her life for the past several years.

_Nolan wants it to be over, once and for all…I don't know if I know how to live like a real person – my life hasn't been real since I was nine years old…_

On emerging from the steam, Emily wrapped a towel about herself and found that her friend had left out a Ramones t-shirt for her on the bathroom counter, and with it a pair of denim board shorts and a belt. Shrugging, Emily replaced her panties and once again found herself wearing Nolan's clothes. The t-shirt was loose and she found immediate use for the belt he'd left on the counter. Unfortunately, Nolan wasn't quite as thin as she'd teased him earlier in the evening.

She took a comb and grit her teeth as she worked it through the tangles, irritated to hear her strands break. What did it matter now? There was no more point in keeping up her flawless appearance - there was no more point in doing anything, really.

Emily tossed the comb onto the counter and braced her hands over the sink.

Looking at herself in the mirror, she shook her head – she looked ridiculous, like a little girl wearing her father's clothes. Her body ached all over, her eyes were still flaring red and her hair was quickly curling into a halo of frizzed waves.

Still.

She was clean, she would soon heal and she wasn't alone.

That was something.


	7. Chapter 7

Emily made a slow descent downstairs, delayed by her own curiosity. She trusted the man more than any other, but all the same she could not stop herself from exploring his bedroom. For a few precious moments, she pretended that she had no idea who Nolan Ross was, that she was in a stranger's home, far away from all she knew, and searching for clues about the man.

There was always more to learn about a man by examining his personal effects. Emily looked about the space of his room, using all her senses and the strength of her perception.

She began with the obvious.

There were no piles of dirty laundry, no dirty dishes or water glasses on his nightstands. This told Emily that he was a man who preferred order in his life, which Nolan certainly was. He might prefer order in his daily life, much like she did, but no one could have denied that he had enjoyed the risk, the thrill of being such an integral part of her scheme.

Something of a trouble-maker, was Nolan Ross. He liked to cause mischief but the man knew his limits.

His sheets were a tangled mass on his bed, evidence of a fitful sleep. He'd been restless, and who could blame him? He'd risked his life to save hers, that was no small thing. Emily was sure he'd been exhausted, but sleep might not have come so easily for him.

The cloth over his bed was streaked with soot – evidence of the fire that had clung to his skin. The sheets in the guestroom were in a similar condition, she would do him the favor of washing them herself. The fire had been meant for her, after all.

A muted silver Omega watch was on the nightstand and beside that was one of his many tablets, charging its battery; here was a man who liked gadgets and appreciated quality craftsmanship.

She moved on from the bed to inspect his clothes.

The man's closet was a deep walk-in, its shelves neatly lined with shoes, its racks displaying shirts of every color and blazers of every texture, there were many hats, many pairs of shorts and trousers, many pairs of gloves, ties, scarves and handkerchiefs. Emily smiled to herself. This was a man who liked clothes and had a flamboyant, reckless sense of style.

_That's Nolan, all over._

Emily stepped out of his closet and glanced over the framed photographs he had lining the far wall of his bedroom, surprised to see a picture of Nolan with her at the Grayson mansion during last year's Fourth of July celebration. She remembered it. The picture had been taken at the start of the party, before Frank had attacked her friend and driven things out of control.

There were other pictures, photos of Nolan with an older couple Emily assumed were his parents, pictures of Nolan with his aunt Carol, pictures of Nolan with Jack and Declan, pictures of Nolan with his trusted lieutenants at Nolcorp.

_He's a man who values the people in his life._

Emily tore her eyes away from the images. She had spent too much time looking through Nolan's things and he was bound to notice her absence. She stripped his bed and once she'd made quick work of tossing both his and her sheets into the wash, she called out for him.

"Nolan?"

"Out here." Nolan called back to her.

He set his personal tablet on the patio table and watched his companion emerge from the house, fully attired in his clothes. "Look at you, very fashion-forward."

"Yeah, I'll bet I look ready for the runway." Emily groused as she shielded her eyes from the bright setting sun.

Nolan stood to pull out a chair for the woman and then rejoined her at the table. "Do you feel all right?"

"I'm still kind of foggy." She shrugged.

"Yeah, they said it would take a few hours for you to be back to normal." Nolan caught the scent of his own shampoo on her and fought the urge to tease. "Are you still hungry? I can get you more food or something to drink if you want."

Emily frowned and then moved to cradle her head in her hands, massaging her temples and suddenly feeling the weight of all that she'd lost. Not just her material things, but the place that carried the last traces of her father, her memories of innocense. All the money in the world couldn't restore what she had lost in the fire.

And Nolan, he only wanted to help her. That was all he'd ever wanted. Just to help her, and all she ever did was push him away. He didn't deserve such treatment and she didn't deserve such loyalty.

_I can't keep doing this. But how can I...?_

She felt the ground tilt beneath her feet, suddenly dizzy, suddenly very afraid.

Her father had been taken from her, her home had been destroyed and her vengeance was done.

All she had was this man, the friend she'd spent years running from and pushing away. Things between them had to change, _she_ had to change.

"Nolan, you don't have to…God, I don't even have any clothes."

The man wouldn't see her so defeated, not now, not when she'd bested her enemies and avenged her father. More than anything, Nolan wanted Emily to be happy. Again, he rallied his spirit and thought of something to cheer her up. "Well, you don't have clothes but you have me. Come on, Ems, let me take you shopping."

She shook her head. "You don't have to do that."

"No, but I will if it'll get you out of your post-vengeance funk. I don't like seeing you like this." He said seriously, daring to put his hand over hers on the table.

"No, Nolan, after everything you've already done…you've done enough. I can't keep taking from you."

He was left to wonder why it was that Emily had such a difficult time accepting help from him, but he pressed the issue with her a bit further. "Then let me treat you as a self-serving favor. That's my favorite t-shirt and I want it back."

Emily glanced down at the well-loved band shirt she wore, and finally relented. "…all right, but just this once and I'll pay you back as soon as I can." She rubbed her face, her mind spinning. "I have to change."

Nolan waved off her concern, "Sure, sure, mi dinero es su dinero."

He reached for his tablet and with a few taps and sweeps of his fingertips, Nolan called up a list of wardrobe pieces he'd put together for her while she'd been in the shower. Nolan had had more fun than he cared to admit in picking out clothes for the woman – he owned his sexuality and his personal quirks but he didn't glory in living up to the stereotypes he knew people associated with men like him.

Emily took the tablet from him and found that she could live with most of his choices, basic as they were – jeans, simple tops, t-shirts and shoes. Smiling, she called up a new site and made a few additions to his list.

He smiled back at her, "What?"

Emily raised her brows. "Nothing, it's a great list, it's just that you seem to have forgotten that there are things a woman wears but a man never does. Usually not in public, anyway."

"I figured you could pick out your own bras and thongs, babe."

For whatever reason, she blushed a bit at that. "I also couldn't help but notice the number of geek t-shirts on that list."

He knew that she would question his choices for her so he might as well be honest. "I just think wearing something a little less… _Hamptons_ might help you relax."

"Is that the idea behind your wardrobe?" She asked, baiting him.

"You're not a fan of my attire?"

Emily let her eyes linger on his shirt, today it was plain linen in a muted blue – unusual for the man who usually wore popped polos of all colors. "It can get a little…colorful."

Unrepentant, the man winked at her. "Better bright than bland, Ems."

"Can't argue with you there."

The two settled into a comfortable silence for awhile, enjoying the heated air of summer, listening to the crash of the ocean's waves below. Emily had to wonder when the last time was that she'd simply sat with Nolan, to talk or enjoy a meal, without some scheme between them. Truly, she wasn't sure that they had ever simply been together in this way – whenever they mingled at parties or had drinks at the Stowaway, they had never truly been themselves. They had only ever been pretending while her plans fell into place.

There would be no more of that, now.

The Graysons had been taken down, their legacy ripped apart by their greed, their lies, their insatiable ambition. Conrad and Victoria were in prison, while Daniel was set adrift and Charlotte had cut ties with the family.

And Emily…she had thought of what she would do when her vengeance was met, when her father's name was cleared and everyone who had played a part in ruining their lives had been punished. Naively, she had thought to tell Jack everything at one point – before yet another setback and more of the Graysons' deception had been uncovered. That had been when Emily came to understand that there was nothing waiting for her on the other side of her revenge.

It had been some months ago when she'd let go of Jack, just as winter had fallen away and spring had made its rise in the world. Really, he was just the boy she'd spent her last innocent summer with – a childhood friend who had grown up and then been hurt by her in ways he should never know.

Jack had grown into a kind, caring man…but he was not for her, not for the woman that she'd become.

Yes, Emily had let go of the dream and she'd found it surprisingly easy to do.

Now she hardly thought of Jack at all, let alone as playing a part in her happy ending.

She felt that she was facing a vast emptiness, for she had no more purpose. She felt lost. She had nothing.

As if he heard her thought, Nolan moved his eyes away from the horizon and turned to her across the table. "I have an idea. What do you say to a movie?"

It seemed he was still determined to cheer her up, to distract her from this smothering feeling of being out of control, directionless.

The sun had finally dipped out of sight and the full warm darkness was creeping ever closer. The wind whipped Emily's hair into her face and she did not move to brush it away. "What movie?"

"Anything you want. I can even get us a few flicks that won't hit theaters until a few months from now."

She raised her brows at his boast. "Nice to see you've been putting your hacking skills to such great use."

"You should know by now, I'm all about information and I'm impatient. Waiting around is for the birds. Come on, it'll take your mind off things." He urged her.

Emily said nothing, she only smiled and moved to follow him back inside.

If she was lost, she was at least grateful to be lost with her friend.


	8. Chapter 8

Nestled into the loveseat of the study with a light throw over her lap, Emily didn't pay much attention to the movie Nolan had chosen for them, nor did she comment on the tidbits of trivia he brought up as he made the selection - something about how Nolcorp was able to pull strings and get advance downloads of the films that would hit theaters later in the summer, all of them set to break records and dazzle audiences.

A good houseguest, Emily watched quietly, enjoying the fantastic special effects made all the brighter and sharper by her friend's new television, a prototype he'd built that wasn't even meant to enter mass production for another three years.

Never let the true genius of Nolan Ross come into question.

Emily sat beside him, though only her eyes watched the film. Her mind was churning elsewhere.

_I know Nolan wants this ended, but it can't be over - not yet. There are still things to do, things that have to be said..._

Of all the films he had at hand, Nolan had chosen for them to watch _The Avengers_ \- three guesses why.

Her mind was not focused on the antics of The Hulk and Thor, though beside her Nolan had barely blinked since he'd completed the download. Boys needed their heroes.

That Nolan saw himself as Tony Stark would surprise no one.

For anyone to learn that Emily was much like the Black Widow would come as a shock.

Vengeance and all its secrets had consumed her life for years, occupying her every thought and action. Things had escalated soon after she'd taken her first steps in revenge, when Daniel took the bait of the pretty neighbor new to the Hamptons and drew Victoria's attention away from her charities and parties at the manor. When the Grayson family guard dog had dug his paws into her past and very nearly found the truth – the answers he'd sought from Amanda Clarke had cost him his life and so began the descent of Emily's control.

After Frank, Tyler had arrived and shown himself to be a loose canon – lying, seducing, blackmailing and threatening anyone he perceived as his enemy, anyone who would keep him from Daniel, his Danny. Even now, Emily hated to think back to that night when Nolan had been attacked, stabbed and held captive in his home, while she hadn't suffered so much as a scratch.

He always bore the punishment meant for her.

The woman shifted her weight on the sofa, her mind drifting back to the previous summer.

Emily had come to see Nolan much later that night, slipping away from Daniel to check on her only friend. He'd been surly and medicated, urging her as he always did to put her revenge to rest and as she always did, she'd ignored him and pressed on with some regret, but with no thought of stopping her quiet sabotage.

It became a routine of sorts, for Nolan to urge her away from retribution, only to have her ignore him and draw on his skills. She now wished that things had been done differently, that she hadn't been so demanding of him, but time and circumstances being what they were...

Emily sighed, her eyelids growing heavy while the Avengers squabbled amongst themselves onscreen. Nolan had taken the hits meant for her, and despite all his teasing and threats, he had never betrayed her – not even a word of her truth had fallen from his lips…

Somewhere between the half-way mark and the epic final battle of the film, Nolan glanced over and realized that Emily had fallen asleep against him. He looked down at her face and for a moment, a tiny moment – a blink, really – Nolan entertained the thought of what it could be like if Emily were to stay with him.

They hadn't discussed where she would go or what she would do now that her vengeance was finished; she'd never had an answer in all the times he'd asked what she would do once it was all over. There were times when the man worried that she couldn't see life beyond her revenge, and he'd kept his sorrow for her very well-hidden.

But it might be too soon to build a new life for her, they had only just woken up and scrubbed the fire from their skin.

Nolan hoped that she would stay, that she would let it all go and be a true friend to him, the friend he'd always wanted in her.

Despite it all, the man was proud.

Emiy had set out to avenge her father and she had done it - really, she deserved a starring role in the film running before them. Conrad and now Victoria were in prison, as were all of the side players who had seen David framed as a domestic terrorist. Not only had Emily pulled it off, but she had pulled it off beautifully and with such style that Nolan sometimes had to sit back and marvel at what she – _they_ – had accomplished.

She was warm against him, and simply being with her like this, sharing a meal and a movie, made him very happy. Nolan was as easy to please as poor Sammy had been - secretly, he hoped his next life saw him return as a spoiled dog.

He could almost forget the horror that had brought her into his home in the first place.

Well.

The man wondered if he could make Emily happy as well, but his mind broke with the thought.

Emily might be beyond the capacity to love in any reall sense of the word – she'd told Daniel that she loved him a hundred times, and at one point she might have thought she loved Jack, but real love needed _trust_ and that had been betrayed and beaten out of her years ago.

Truly, Nolan grieved for all that had been taken from her. When he had learned of what she'd been through since being taken from David, the bitter mix of guilt coupled with shame had nearly eaten him alive.

Nolan hadn't saved her then, but he was glad to have saved her from the fire.

It was a new chance for him to make things right.

____________________

Slowly, lazy dawn broke over the world, its light creeping through the glass wall and over the sleeping friends sharing a sofa. Nolan woke first, the simple pleasure of the morning gone away with the throbbing of his wounded arm. He clenched his jaw against the pain, irritated that he'd left his medication upstairs.

It was with some regret that he would have to wake Emily.

If it wasn't for the sharp sting pulsing in his arm, Nolan would let her sleep. God knew she'd earned it, and he didn't mind her using him as a pillow. She'd fallen asleep against him during the movie, her sunny blonde head resting on his chest. He'd reclined further into the sofa, enjoying her sleeping company, and put on another film after the first had ended.

He had watched for perhaps twenty minutes before falling asleep himself.

"Emily, come on, wake up." He nudged her, shifting out from under her as she began to stir.

She blinked and then started, not recognizing where they were. "Nolan, what-?"

He stood up and stretched, careful of his arm. "Relax, we're in the study. Remember, we watched a movie? Or, I watched while you plotted."

Emily cracked her knuckles and yawned. "No, no, I remember. And I wasn't plotting...not much, anyway. I have a lot on my mind."

"Want to know what's on my mind? Coffee. Can you manage to start a pot?"

She looked up as he headed toward the door. "Where are you going?"

"I have to change my...shirt. I'll be back in a flash." Nolan nearly said _bandages_ but managed to catch himself.

Not bothering to explain further, he strode out of the study and barreled his way upstairs, his thoughts solely on the pills that would ease the pain of his arm.

Staring after him, Emily frowned. Her friend was acting stranger than usual. He seemed tense, the way he always did when he chose to hide some secret from her.

_What is he keeping from me now?_ She wondered.

A part of her was just itching to find out, but a larger part of her was simply too tired to pursue it. She felt that the energy had been drained from her - there was no urge to spy on him, to go through his things, invading his privacy and breaking his trust just to satisfy her suspicion.

Simply, Emily did not feel like her usual self - or, perhaps that was the real problem: she was feeling like her true self, only she'd been seeking vengeance for so long that she'd forgotten how to be herself...whoever that was.

But Nolan had asked her to make coffee.

Emily stood from the sofa, folding the throw blanket before she left the study.

Squinting against the sunlight coming through the windows, she crossed the house and headed into the kitchen. Making the coffee was simple enough, though she rarely made a habit of drinking the stuff herself. Emily preferred tea. She tapped her nails on the counter, watching the pot brew before turning to the kitchen, suddenly intent to make them breakfast.

_It's the least I could do for him_ , she thought. Why Nolan had behaved so oddly on waking, she had no idea but she was certainly grateful for his hospitality. The man was trying so hard. Gratitude was a foreign feeling to her.

Nolan had saved her life, and the plain fact of it had yet to fully absorb into her mind. She had saved him before, but no one had ever saved her.

The woman checked his pantry and refridgerator, finding all that she needed to whip up a breakfast for them to share. Milk, cheese, a few bell peppers, eggs, butter, sour cream, a container of strawberries, half a bottle of honey and two English muffins. Turning on the stove and cracking eggs into a bowl, she began.

Yes, she could cook.

She would show him.

"Aw, you're making me breakfast - isn't this domestic?"

Nolan moved down the stairs and approached the kitchen, he mood clearly improved, though Emily could not say the same for his choice of wardrobe. He was at it again with the chinos and again, another long sleeved shirt of pale green linen. For whatever reason, he was wearing a black leather glove on one hand as he'd done the night before.

"I thought it only fair since you made dinner last night."

"My pleasure, and you're a guest. That looks great, though." He eyed the Spanish omelet she was making with appreciation. His mouth was already watering and she hadn't even added the peppers.

Nolan took a seat on one of the barstools that lined the high counter, feeling much better after tending his secret wound and worlds more content.

Emily poured him a cup of coffee, which he carefully accepted. After the night they'd had, he was wary of heat.

They remained in silence for a time, Nolan sipping coffee and watching as Emily tended to the eggs and honeyed muffins.

The doorbell cut through the air, their calm at an end.

Emily's eyes snapped to his, "Are you expecting anyone?"

"No. No one." Nolan stood from his chair, and moved toward the door. "Get back to the guest room."

"No, I can-"

He turned to face her, his expression stern. "My house, my rules. Get to the guest room. Remember the plan, Ems."

Irritated with him now, Emily moved, easing toward the guest room that he had set aside for her. If whoever was at the door was looking for her, she could count on Nolan to stall them long enough for her to get away. This was a strategy they had discussed during the long winter months when things had grown more dangerous.

"Nolan, who knows I'm here?" She asked him, her voice hushed.

He glanced back at her, "Dr. Thorton and two nurses...and Daniel."

"What? How does he know?"

"I ran into him at the hospital while I was doing the paperwork for your release."

Emily reached the doorway of the guestroom and scowled at him, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Take a wild guess." He shot back as he touched a security monitor he'd installed on the foyer wall.

Emily ignored his jab and closed the guestroom door, her survival instincts taking over, her training never far from memory. _The window. It's a seven foot drop to the ground, just tuck and roll on landing. Get some distance from this place and then open a line of communication to check back with Nolan..._

The woman strode to the window and unlatched it, intent on climbing out and escaping to the beach. From there, she could steal a car from one of Nolan's neighbors and then -

"False alarm, Ems."

Nolan knocked on the door and then opened it, entering the room with a box in his hands. "It was just the UPS guy. I think these are your jeans. Overnight delivery, remember?"

Relief flooded her, and she took a deep breath, rubbing her hand over her face. "I thought-"

"I know what you thought. It looks like we're safe for a little longer, so long as we keep a low profile." Nolan remarked.

He set the package on her bed and strode out of the room, intent to get back to his breakfast and leaving Emily there straddling the window sill, marvelling at her friend. Even with the Graysons all but ruined, it was possible that someone could still come after her - and they would go through Nolan to do it.

He had to know that, but he still refused to abandon her.

____________________

Their breakfast was interrupted twice more, special delivery for Emily Thorne from Henri Bendel, Saks and Bloomingdale's.

Nolan left Emily to change out of his borrowed clothes and excused himself to the backyard. He had calls to return and hardline decisions to make; despite all appearances, Nolan was still very much involved in Nolcorp. He rarely visited the office but much of his heart was still with the business. He hadn't spent years of his life developing the company just to turn around and ignore it, after all.

That would be highly illogical.

While Nolan spoke on the phone outside, Emily took the packages into the guestroom and tore into them, more than ready to be wearing clothing cut for her gender and even better, clothes that actually _fit_. She'd had her fill of walking around braless in Nolan's faded band t-shirt with his board shorts sagging on her hips.

She dumped the packages onto the bed and laid everything out, assessing what had been bought. She frowned to see what she had to work with. It was Nolan who'd made all the selections, and at the time Emily had been too tired to care what he chose for her. Had she been in her right mind, she would have taken more time to review what the man had chosen and certainly she would have deleted some of his choices off the tablet.

Why he'd bought her a Wonder Woman t-shirt, she had no idea, but she suspected he would have a joke at the ready when she wore it for him. Never let it be said that Nolan Ross didn't plan ahead.

For his part, Nolan had been adamant that she not wear the clothing she'd worn previously to blend in with the Hamptons crowd; he'd allowed her nothing but the simplest of jewelry and absolutely no high heels.

It was Nolan's way of bringing Emily back down to earth, by keeping her in flats.

Shrugging to herself, she stripped off Nolan's clothing and the last surviving garment of her destroyed wardrobe, the plain black panties that had been a naughty gift from Daniel. The matching bra had been destroyed by the hospital staff after she'd been brought in by the paramedics. She was not troubled by the loss of such material things, but the house...

Emily left the guest room and spied Nolan still in the backyard, deep in conversation with whoever it was on the other line.

Taking the opportunity, she crept into thestudy and turned on the television, flipping through channels until she found the news she was looking for.

"...in local news, the Hamptons' own Victoria Grayson was arrested at the scene of a house fire she allegedly started in the climax of an ongoing feud between neighbors. The Grayson family has been under investigation for the past several months after evidence of embezzlement, fraud and criminal intimidation pointing to Grayson Global CEO Conrad Grayson surfaced shortly after the imprisonment of Grayson heir Daniel Grayson, who was under suspicion of murder after a highly publicized shooting that took place last Labor Day.

The homeowner, Emily Thorne had at one time been engaged to Daniel Grayson, however sources close to both parties claim that the relationship had since ended. While we have recieved word that Ms. Thorne has been released from Southampton General, her current whereabouts are unknown. Victoria Grayson is currently being held in custody-"

Emily turned off the television, her vision blurred with tears.

It was not the sight of Victoria on the screen, nor was it the mention of her broken engagement to Daniel.

Throughout the broadcast, the news cameras had passed overhead shots of her beach house. The beautiful beach house with its wraparound porch that held the double infinity carving, with the bench swing that Jack had repaired himself, the place were poor Sammy had chosen to die.

The house was the last link to her father, and that monster had destroyed it.

The beautiful house where Emily had last known innocence was now a charred husk of burned rubble.

She stood from the sofa, her legs nearly giving out from under her and she staggered back to the guest room. New fury was rising within, clawing and beating, a living thing desperate to be expressed in wrath.

_You did this, Victoria. It wasn't enough to ruin my father, to destroy my life - you couldn't share him, you couldn't let me have the last piece of him that you never could. You took it away from me...no, I'm not finished with you yet - you will pay for this..._


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: This chapter references an idea that I toyed with in a previous Revenge fic, Compromised, in which Nolan blackmails Ashley after he figures out that she was the one who leaked the pictures of Daniel to the media after Tyler's murder on the beach.
> 
> For this story, Nolan had merely blackmailed her for information on Grayson Global while in Compromised he blackmailed her sexually.

It was half an hour before the woman emerged from the guestroom, her resolve shaken, her control uncertain. This was not the Emily Thorne that she had built for years, this was Emily coming undone.

Emotion was a rising tide within, coming on so strong that her mind flooded to the point that she wasn't sure why she so upset – the Graysons were jailed and exposed to the world, her heart should be singing – she only knew that she had to get out of the house, away from Nolan and his infuriating concern for her.

_I'm not finished, this isn't over yet, I have to do something!_

Emily rubbed her face and stood from the edge of the bed where she'd sunk down, overcome. Yes, overcome – that was the word for how she felt. Pressure built in her skull, there had been a hard knot in her stomach. Victoria had ruined her life and taken her home from her for a second time in as many decades – it had been too much for Emily to take at once and so she'd broken down, but slowly, inch by inch, she was coming back.

_My name is Emily Thorne, and I'm not done yet._

The woman rose up from the bed, swiping stray tears from her cheeks. Crossing the room, she looked at herself in the mirror, assessing her reflection as she had every day since she began her quest.

Her face was flushed, her lips were swollen as were her eyes.

Pity.

Her eyes had finally cleared after the fire and now with her tears they had reddened again.

Emily took several calming breaths, trying to rebuild what she had once been, that icy, shrewd woman she had been for the last year. She felt broken, it had only been days ago that she and Nolan had been scheming, only days ago that she had been attacked and then saved, given a second chance...

_If it's only been days, why does going back feel so impossible?_

She dismissed the thought, becoming irritated with herself.

_No. It's not impossible. I just have to get away to think, and then I can find a way._

She frowned down at her tan Sperrys. Damn Nolan and his presumption in choosing clothes for her. Yet another thing that had been taken from her control. Today she would remind Nolan of his place and take back control over her life. Emily fanned her face and came out of the guestroom wearing a pair of darkwash jeans and a simple cotton blouse of thick red and white stripes.

Now lounging on the living room sofa with the well-used Xbox controller blinking in his lap, Nolan gave her a long wolf-whistle of approval as she emerged. "Look at you, good as new and very weekend-chic."

"I'm going out." She said flatly.

He raised his brows, "What? Where're you going?"

Emily took a deep breath, sure that she'd get an earful when she told him, "I'm going to find out the charges against Victoria and then I'll-"

Nolan stood up from the couch and moved to stand in front of her. "Emily, no. You can't, you promised me."

"Nolan, I have to see this to the end."

"Listen to you!" Nolan threw up his hands in frustration and stepped in close to her, blocking her way to the door. "What's left to finish? You took down the others before the Graysons, then you exposed Conrad and now Victoria is in jail, it's already over."

Emily glared at him. "It's not over until I say it's over, Nolan. Now you need to get out of my way."

The man did not back down as she'd come to expect; if anything, Nolan's resolve only grew stronger in the face of her warning.

"When's it going to be over, Emily? When they get the death penalty and you're the one jamming the needles in their arm?"

Without thinking, Nolan grabbed Emily's wrist to illustrate his point but in the heat of the moment he'd forgotten her short fuse when it came to violence. It had been over a year since she had flashed her skills against him, but even longer still that Nolan had surprised her.

Emily lunged at him, but before she knew it had happened, he had twisted out of her grasp and pinned her against the nearest wall.

"What! Nolan, how-?"

Nolan did not loosen his hold, he couldn't be sure that Emily wouldn't whip around and break his nose just to assert herself. "After Tyler's last visit I decided to invest in a ninja mentor of my very own." He explained casually, before lowering his voice against her ear. "Come at me again and I'll show you what else I've learned."

It was an empty threat and they both knew it, but Nolan's point had been made.

Emily could not see Nolan clearly with her cheek pressed against the wall, but she was sure the man's expression was as cocky as it had ever been. "How were you able to learn so fast? It should have taken you years to build the internal discipline to–"

"Oh, please – I skipped all that third eye, zen fortune cookie stuff and moved right to the head of the class. Really, I'm hurt you haven't noticed." He rolled his eyes and released her, taking a quick step back.

It had been a loose hold since he couldn't use his injured arm, he'd had to use the length of his body to pin her – yet another advantage of being as tall as he was.

Emily turned to face him, "Nolan, if Takeda-"

"Relax, I didn't horn in on your guru." He scoffed, turning away from her. "I got a guy from Montauk to come and give me lessons five times a week."

"Probably a good investment, considering." Emily groused, shoving past him.

A wave of pain flashed over Nolan at the contact.

He groaned and, catching himself, plastered a rigid smile on his face. "I…ugh, yeah, I figured after I'd been thrown around all last summer that learning a little self-defense couldn't hurt."

Emily raised a brow at his tense expression, as well as his face that had suddenly gone pale. "And yet all you've done with what you've learned is attack women."

Through the pain, Nolan refused to let her goad him. He rallied to give as well as he got. This was special, the snapping banter they shared, and he'd be damned if he let her have the last word.

"You're one to talk when you're always threatening my neck, my nose and my windpipe – and you attacked me in my own house, no less! Where're your manners, Emily, they burn up in the fire?"

She cleared her throat, chagrined that Nolan – _Nolan!_ \- had managed to break her hold and bring her into one of his own. How embarrassing.

_Bastard._

Emily straightened her blouse. "You startled me, that's all."

The wound was pulsing throughout his body and distantly he was amazed that such incidental contact could have caused him such pain. Nolan leaned against the bar counter to steady himself.

"Nolan, are you all right?"

He glanced to Emily and shook his head. "I'm…yeah, I'm fine."

"Don't lie to me."

He looked away from her, "I'm not lying-"

"Nolan, you're not fine, you look sick."

"No, don't touch-!" He pulled away just as Emily had reached for his gloved hand.

In backing away, holding his wounded forearm, Nolan revealed the secret he'd been keeping and so exposed his weakness.

He saw the realization in Emily's eyes and could've kicked himself for it.

She took a step toward him, her hands outstretched to show she wouldn't try grabbing at him again. "Nolan, please, show me what happened."

_The jig is up, I should've known better than to try hiding from her._ He thought miserably. Really, he'd hoped to keep the wound to himself until it healed, and then he could decide what to do about the scars.

Sighing, Nolan relented and with all care, peeled off his glove to reveal the bandage that covered the burn spanning the back of his hand.

"The fire?"

He nodded, relieved to feel the sting of his pain easing away. "Yes. There was debris in the doorway, I had to push through it to get us out."

Emily watched as Nolan replaced his glove, and she saw a strange, quiet dignity in the act. This man had chosen to injure himself before letting any harm come to her. It made sense to her now, the tension in his body, this secret he'd tried so hard to hide.

And there was more, she could tell.

"Nolan, it's not just your hand, is it?" She asked, her voice quiet.

She knew from his hesitation that it was only a small thing compared to the rest he was hiding from her.

Smoothing an imagined crease in his shirt and straightening to his full height, Nolan shook his head. "No, it's not just the hand."

"How bad is it?"

"You're losing your edge, Emily. I thought you would've figured it out sooner." He gestured to the wet bar. "Can I get you a drink?"

It was clear he didn't want to talk anymore about the fire, and Emily wisely chose not to press the issue. He'd had enough and Emily's urge to go back to her old ways was thwarted by Nolan's surprise resolve, with something new rising to take its place.

She gave him a small smile. Small, but genuine.

"Sure."

Twenty minutes later found them in the living room, nursing cocktails despite it being only about 2:10 in the afternoon. Rum and Coke for him, a screwdriver for her – he'd added only a splash of vodka to her drink, maintaining that she needed the vitamin C for her recovery.

She wanted to argue that Nolan didn't need to act as her mother hen, especially as he was the injured one, but it'd spoil his fun in bossing her. Besides that, it was nice to be taken care of.

"I don't want to fight with you over this any more, Emily." Nolan looked away from her for a moment, swirling the contents of his glass. "You know where I stand on it. They're in jail, the world knows what they did, and the name David Clarke will be cleared. It's over."

From the chair across from him, the woman sighed and pressed the cold glass against her forehead. She felt uncomfortably warm. "…I want it to be, you have no idea how much."

"I know you do, but you've lived and breathed this for years, and now with it gone...you haven't really lived since you were nine years old."

She raised her brow at him. "How nice of you to keep track."

Nolan leaned forward, wishing he could somehow smother all desire for retribution from her heart. It was unfair, their grand task was done with, but something inside of Emily just couldn't let it go.

"Emily, please."

"I'm sorry."

"I know you can't shut it off like a switch, but maybe in time…"

Emily nodded.

Her friend had proven himself too loyal for his own good; he had been threatened and assaulted for the simple fact of his association with her. From the outside, she and Nolan were only friendly acquaintances who met up at parties and occasionally bumped into each other at The Stowaway. There were only a precious few in the world who knew of their deeper connection.

And they _were_ connected.

Truly, it had pained her to treat him so horribly the summer before, belittling and dismissing him when all he wanted was to help. If only all men were as good as Nolan Ross. She had softened toward him over the winter, she had let him in. It had not been a mistake, but they could not go on as they had in the past.

Emily took a deep breath, knowing that she risked losing him if she couldn't let go of her vendetta.

"I can't promise you anything, Nolan. But I can promise you that I'll try."

"That's comforting." Nolan remarked as he stood and gestured for her to follow him out to the patio. "We both know what you're capable of when you put your mind to something."

"If nothing else, I do have a lot of determination." Emily agreed as she took the seat he'd pulled out for her, always the gentleman.

"You know, I was worried I'd have to put you in a headlock to get you to agree."

Emily shot him a look. "Try it and I'll break your nose."

"Break my nose and I'll snap your wrist." He replied easily as he handed her another screwdriver, this one even weaker than the first.

"Snap my wrist and I'll dislocate your shoulder."

"Dislocate my shoulder and I'll crack your jaw."

"Crack my jaw and I'll-"

"My God, aren't you two friendly!"

Both Emily and Nolan turned at the third voice. It was Ashley, who'd just stepped through the back gate and overheard them threatening each other. She looked as posh as ever, the designers she loved draping her head to toe, her hair cut into a sleek chocolate bob. After Emily's break-up with Daniel, Ashley had wisely kept her distance from them both.

"Ashley?"

"Hey, Ash, what brings you over?"

Nolan knew, of course, but he saw no reason to tip off Emily.

He waved her to the table and pulled out her chair – a strangely chivalrous gesture from the man who'd been blackmailing her for nearly a year.

Ashley turned to the man and gave him the final breakdown of Grayson Global's assets, all neatly organized in a black binder. It'd make for some interesting reading later on.

Now that the Graysons had gotten what was coming to them, the "arrangement" Ashley had with Nolan was at an end – they'd reached an agreement months ago that, in exchange for any inside information Ashley would become privy to, Nolan would secure her next high-profile position.

Ashley was a smart girl, she knew when she took her position at Grayson Global that it was a sinking ship – she'd only been clever enough to play for the winning side in secret.

True to his word, Nolan had already found a placement for her as a public relations executive in a Nolcorp subsidiary down in sunny Miami – naturally, she would have absolutely no access to anything that had to do with him, in fact he'd planned out several convenient distractions to keep her occupied for the next few years, just in case. Not that he was paranoid…

"I have that file for you, but please don't let me interrupt all the ways you intend to beat Emily to within an inch of her life." Ashley said as she handed him the binder.

Nolan took it from her and shook his head, "We were just joking, I wouldn't-"

"No worries, I know you wouldn't."

Ashley turned to her friend, or perhaps _friend_ wasn't the right word to use anymore, but that was not to say that Ashley didn't care that Emily had very nearly died just two nights before. "Emily, I can't believe what happened."

Emily shook her head, once again slipping on her Hamptons mask. Nolan frowned slightly to see the real woman withdraw behind the persona. He excused himself to get a drink for Ashley and to hide the binder.

"Yeah, I'm still trying to wrap my head around it."

Ashley leaned forward and put her hand over Emily's. "I saw it all on the news, it was so lucky that Nolan was there to pull you out."

Emily nodded, her agreement genuine. "I was insanely lucky, he had to give me CPR on the lawn and everything."

Ashley's eyes grew large, "My God, I had no idea it was that close!"

Emily pinched the bridge of her nose. "Yeah, apparently Queen Victoria wanted my head to roll!"

"Victoria…of course she's a grade-A bitch but I never thought she could be capable of something like this."

"None of us did, but this has taught me who my friends are." Emily said carefully.

She knew that Ashley had told Daniel what she'd seen that night between her and Jack, but truly she didn't care. She saw now that her relationship with Daniel would have crumbled before a wedding ever took place. Emily cared for the man but his acceptance of what his family had done to her father had sickened her. It had taken everything she had to keep up her act of the loving fiance after having heard the recording of Daniel speaking with Conrad in their study that night.

The Brit quickly glanced back to the door to make sure that Nolan was still inside the house, out of earshot. "Oh, I'm sure Nolan thinks of himself as more than just your friend."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean his eyes never leave you when you walk into a room."

Emily cleared her throat, feeling a touch chagrined that Ashley had noticed Nolan keeping an eye on her over the past several months even when they'd played at being mere acquaintances all this time.

Feigning innocence, Emily shrugged off Ashley's insinuating remark. "Well I'm just thankful his eyes could find me in the fire – the doctor told me if I'd been in the house for just a few more minutes I either would have suffocated or been crushed when the roof collapsed."

Ashley cringed at the thought of Emily's death – in all truth she missed the woman as her friend, but she felt the gulf that had opened between them. They had grown apart and she wasn't sure that they could ever be as they once were. "Well, Nolan's earned the right to a bravery medal, that's for sure. Emily, I'm so glad that you're all right."

Emily allowed herself a genuine smile. "Thank you, Ashley. I think you and I have earned a stiff drink."

She laughed at that, "Are you kidding? We'll need ten in a row after the year you've had."

"You've been through the wringer a few times too, Ash. But the silver lining is that the Graysons are out of our lives now."

"Amen to that!"

Nolan watched from inside the house as the two ladies briefly caught up, but it didn't take his genius to see that the two were nowhere near as close as they'd once been. An awkward tension hung between them, heavy with every tiny resentment and hidden secret betrayal.

It was no surprise to him when he overheard Ashley wish Emily well and then gave her a genuine goodbye, complete with a hug. He watched her leave through the back gate and hustled to catch up to her in the driveway.

"Ashley, thank you for coming to see her. Emily needs a friend."

She smiled at him and clicked her keytag to unlock her Lexus, her favorite gift from the ruined Conrad. "I think she has one already, Nolan. I'm glad that you're all right."

"That makes two of us." Nolan put his hands in his pockets and tried to think of something to say. If he could go back in time, he would not have had things between he and Ashley unfold in the way they had, but he was powerless as anyone when it came to regret.

Still, if this was their final goodbye he didn't want her to leave hating him.

"How do you like your Miami office?" He asked.

Ashley tucked her hair behind her ears as the breeze picked up. "From the pictures I've seen, it looks spectacular."

"Trust me, it is." Nolan extended his hand to her, words failing to express his full meaning, but from the way she smiled at him he wanted to believe that she understood. "Goodbye, Ashley."

She shook his hand, their agreement met. "Goodbye, Nolan."


	10. Chapter 10

A few hours after Ashley's departure found Nolan still enjoying the bright summer sun, lounging in his favored patio chair. He felt all right, settled and content to know that Ashley had come through on her end of their deal and that Emily was napping somewhere in his house.

It had been a busy few days.

So much fear and risk and pain from the fire, and no sooner than Emily had woken up Nolan had had to rally himself and stand against her demented urge to strike back against Victoria. What else Emily thought she could accomplish, he had no idea. Victoria's family had been ruined by Emily Thorne, the blonde wrath in heels.

The man smiled to himself, thinking that Emily was probably going through his things at that very moment, more from curiosity than distrust at this point. Hell, maybe she was even going through the binder Ashley had given to him, he knew Emily hadn't missed that item of interest in their quick exchange. It didn't matter, she and Nolan knew each other's secrets through and through. He might not have told her about his arrangement with Ashley, but he would have explained things once the investment paid off. Nolan wasn't the type to count his chickens before they hatched.

He heard a _ping_ and snapped to attention, checking his tablet and finding a familiar face heading toward the house from the driveway.

_Knew it'd only be a matter of time._

Nolan tapped the intercom icon and greeted his guest. "Jack! What brings you here, or do I have to ask?"

From the monitor in his lap, he watched Jack start in the driveway, obviously searching for the tiny high-res cameras and Bose speakers mounted on the housefront. "Nolan, where are you?"

"I'm on the deck, come on around back."

A minute later and Nolan set his tablet aside on the table when Jack came through the gate, clearly upset and unsure. Nolan felt for the other man, this gentle soul who had been pulled into the storm that he and Emily had created over the past year with their constant deception.

It wasn't fair, but Nolan had learned early on what he'd signed up for in joining with Emily. It couldn't be changed now.

"Nolan, I saw the news – Emily's house is a wreck and no one's seen her-"

"She's safe and sound, Jack." Nolan said quietly.

Too quiet to penetrate Jack's concern, as the man paced and went on, "Where could she have gone? Have you heard from her at all?"

Drawn by the voice, Emily stepped out of the house and came onto the deck to join the men, a glass of iced tea in her hand. Nolan glanced over and saw her first, Emily in all her sated, sleepy glory.

"Jack?"

Jack whipped around at her voice and stepped toward her, arms outstretched to bring her into a fierce embrace. He released her but then cupped her face in his hands, as if to reassure himself that she was truly there with him. "Emily, thank God! I came as soon as I saw the news, I can't believe what happened to you-"

"I know, it was a crazy night."

"You could have died, I was afraid I'd never see you again."

Emil smiled and moved out of his hold, "Thank you, but I'm fine, really."

"I'm fine too, thanks." Nolan groused, reminding them that they weren't the only two people in the universe.

Jack turned to him, "What do you mean?"

Nolan removed his glove to show the bandages wrapped around his hand.

Jack's eyes widened in surprise. "What happened to you?"

"It's the price I pay to help a friend."

Emily moved to stand at his side and put her hand over his uninjured shoulder. "Victoria, she knocked me out. I was incredibly lucky, because Nolan was able to find me and he got me out of the fire."

Jack moved to sit across from him, "You saved her, Nolan."

Emily smoothed her hair against the breeze and took a seat between them. "Yes he did. I'm staying here for a while."

"Yeah, she cuts my food for me." Nolan joked as he pulled on his glove.

Jack was unable to hide his disappointment. "Oh. You know, once I found you I was planning to see if you needed a place to stay."

Emily smiled but shook her head. "That's very sweet of you, but Nolan made up a guest room for me when we came back from the hospital."

"No one knew where you were."

"I know. After what happened, he won't let me leave the house." She teasingly squeezed Nolan's shoulder.

"There's a time to fight and a time for flight," Nolan said. "You're safe here and you need time to recover before we deal with Victoria - but really, what's there to deal with? She was on her way to the pen before she torched your house. The prosecution doesn't need us."

"We've had a few arguments over this already," Emily explained to Jack with a subtle roll of her eyes. "Nolan makes a few decisions for me while I'm unconscious and he gets drunk with power."

"Oh, come on, I'm barely tipsy."

Jack smiled at their bantering, so relieved that Emily was unhurt. He let his eyes roam over Nolan's house with its wet bar, infinity pool and priceless view of the sea. "Jeez, if this is prison, then what do I have to do to get locked up?"

Emily shrugged. "We've been laying low, it's been great getting to know Nolan."

Nolan shook his head, smiling, but didn't say anything.

Jack nodded. "He's out of his mind but he does have his good points."

"Yeah, he has perfect timing for one. I wouldn't be here if he didn't."

Jack reached forward and took Emily's hand, soulful eyes boring into her own. "I'm so glad that you're safe, Emily."

Emily quickly stood, pulling her hand from his though she smiled through her dismissal of him. "Thank you, Jack. It means a lot, really. I'll see you soon."

Both the men noticed the change in the air, the discomfort Emily showed, but neither breathed a word.

Jack nodded and stood, disappointment clear on his face while Nolan stood as well, simply confused. Jack moved as if to hug Emily, but she crossed her arms over her chest, silent discouragement against the move. Embarassed now, he cleared his throat. "Yeah, I guess I'll catch up with you two later."

Emily nodded. "We'll be sure to come by the Stowaway."

Jack turned to leave without a word, feeling completely unwelcome.

Nolan gave the man a half-hearted wave as he went. "See you Jack."

The man, defeated, crossed the threshold of the back gate. Nolan stared after him, keeping silent until he heard the growl of Jack's engine fade down the street.

Finally, he turned to Emily. "What was that? Jack comes to visit and you practically kicked him out a minute after he got here."

Before him, the woman sighed and rubbed a hand over her face. "I know. He still cares about me."

To him, she looked saddened by the news. _Curiouser and curiouser._

"And all of a sudden that's a bad thing?"

She shook her head and reclaimed her chair, sipping the tea to clear her mind. "No. It's just…he doesn't know me any better than Daniel did."

"You were ready to tell him everything last year."

Emily shrugged, "I was, but…I'm not the girl he remembers and I'm not the woman he thinks I am. He doesn't know anything about me, it's better for everyone if we stay as friends…and maybe not even as close friends."

Nolan reigned in his surprise at the news. Truly, he'd come to think that once Emily had moved on from vengeance, she would be with Jack. Once, it seemed to be all that she wanted. It couldn't have been the fire that changed her mind, she appeared to have given Jack some deep thought and, once again, she'd turned from the man.

"Emily, I thought you wanted to be with him. He could make you happy."

His friend looked out to the horizon before turning her eyes back to him. "The night that Sammy died, Jack and I kissed. I wanted to stop the revenge and be with him, but you and I, we had to go on to finish what we started."

"And we did finish, Emily." His voice was firm.

"And Jack is still carrying a torch."

Nolan nodded. "He still wants the little Amanda he remembers from the beach."

"I gave him Amanda." She said, thinking of the real Emily Thorne, her sister thief.

"No, you gave him a fake and we remember how well that worked out. They were in love and we had to keep them apart. Deep down, he'll always want the real deal."

Emily speared fingers through her hair. "We spent half a summer together when I was nine and he named a boat after me a decade later. It's unhealthy."

"He thought he was moving on when Amanda took off."

"Coming back to me isn't moving on. I want Jack to be happy but with everything I've kept from him…he deserves someone real. I'll never be that little girl he remembers, and I'm not the Emily Thorne he thinks I am."

Nolan sat, thinking over all she'd said. He hadn't known that Emily felt somehow unworthy of Jack, but he'd learned his lesson early last summer when it came to interfering in that arena. He took a breath and dipped his head, accepting the choice that she'd clearly made months ago in secret.

"You're the boss, I won't push it."

She gave Nolan a small smile. "Thank you."

Emily went back inside and left Nolan to think on her words.

____________________

It was not long after dinner that Nolan's burn began its telltale throb and he excused himself to take his medication and change his bandages.

As had become ritual, he knocked back the pills and removed his shirt. The man was careful in removing his bandages and then moved to the mirror in his bedroom to take in the extent of the injury. He did not scowl at the sight of himself, naked from the waist up and baring a knife scar on one arm and a burn on the other - they were marks of survival. He knew that he'd been lucky to get out with the injury that he had, whereas if he'd only been in the house for a few minutes longer, they would have both died together in the fire.

It still hurt to move or lift even small things with his injured hand, but it was getting there, slowly but surely. He'd be himself again soon.

His skin was still charred, but the scabbing was a clear sign of healing, ugly as it was.

Movement in the mirror caught his attention and Nolan turned to find Emily standing a few feet into his room with his beloved _Ramones_ t-shirt in her hand. Clearly, she'd only meant to return it to him, but her eyes fell on his burn.

"Emily, what are you-? Get out of here!"

She ignored his order and came to him, "Oh, my God!"

Nolan turned his arm away from her, pointlessly trying to hide the injury. "You weren't supposed to see-"

Emily tossed his borrowed t-shirt on the bed and stood before him. "Stop it, let me see. Nolan, your arm…how did this happen?"

Seeing it was hopeless to hide, Nolan sighed and explained, "i told you. There was debris in the doorway, I had to shove against it to get us out of there."

Emily's eyes were riveted on the injury that painted the outside of his arm in red pain. She came in close, her hand outstretched as if to touch the exposed burn, but she drew it back. The last thing she wanted was to cause him more harm. "You did this for me."

_Oh my God, Nolan - I didn't know, I didn't know..._

Nolan, uncomfortable with her being so close and being so exposed before her, cleared his throat. "Hey, I did it to save my own skin…what's left of it, anyway."

She shook her head, unable to find any humor in his words. "I thought it was just the back of your hand, I had no idea it was this bad. Why didn't you tell me?"

The man moved away from her, wanting to be covered, wanting to hide his weakness. "It's…the doc said I'll be ok. He said there wasn't any nerve damage, there'll just be some scarring when it heals. No big deal."

"No big deal? Nolan, look at yourself!"

He waved off her concern, "I've been looking at it since our first night here. It's fine, don't worry about it."

Emily took his uninjured arm and kept him from walking away. "Nolan, stop. Please, let me look. Let me help."

Nolan sighed and let her push him to sit on the edge of his bed, and kept quiet as she sat down next to him for a closer look at his burn. He watched as her eyes took in the damage. It was humiliating, having her examine him this way, like he was some kind of helpless runt - but Nolan swallowed his pride and allowed her to look her fill of him, though he did wish he was wearing a shirt to hide the rest of his exposed flesh. Nolan knew he didn't measure up in comparison to the tanned athlete she'd been set to marry only months before.

"Nolan, do you have any aloe lotion?"

He blinked and pulled himself out of his insecurities. "I, yeah, it's in the bathroom. The cabinet under the sink."

Emily ran into the bathroom to fetch the lotion and returned just as quickly. "Here, this will help."

Nolan wanted to protest, but Emily's soft touch quieted his tongue. Dutifully, she rubbed a generous amount of the soothing lotion over his burn, her hands gentle on his tender skin. Nolan dipped his head and closed his eyes in pleasure as she massaged the balm into him. He was a hedonist who had deprived himself for months while the grand task was at hand, and now he had a pretty woman on his bed - a woman who would break both his legs if she knew what ideas were drifting in and out of his mind as she stroked more and more of the soothing lotion over his arm. The irony was so maddening that he could die laughing.

"Is that better?" she asked him quietly. The concern in her voice and eyes doused his arousal, he shook it off like a wet dog.

Nolan nodded, "Yes. Thank you."

She reached for the gauze he'd left on the nightstand. "Here, let me wrap it for you."

"You don't have to-"

"Yes I do."

Emily struggled to keep herself from snapping at him, the dizzying overwhelming guilt weighing down on her – this loyal man, the friend she didn't deserve, had put himself in danger for her too many times to count, and here was the evidence. A horrible burn that covered the back of his arm, which was sure to leave twisted scars in its wake after healing. As he always did, Nolan had hidden his suffering away behind a mask of humor, joking his way out of explanations and making an effort to distract her at every turn.

Emily felt the pricking sting of tears at the corner of her eyes. She could cry for days for her shame in what she'd put this man through in all the time they'd known each other. She quickly sniffed and rubbed at her eyes, blinking away the tears.

Crying would do her friend no good…and neither would going on with her vengeance.

The realization dawned on her that Nolan was right, her revenge was over and she was finished. There was nothing else she could do but let it go and learn how to live again.

Could she do it?

She would have to. She owed Nolan that much.

Emily swallowed the urge to sob and began to roll the gauze over his arm, her movements careful not to hurt him. On impulse, she kissed his bandaged wrist when she finished. "Is that better?"

Surprised and a little embarrassed, Nolan nodded and cleared his throat. "Thanks, Em."

Setting the gauze back on his nightstand, Emily sat facing him on the bed with her legs crossed. "Nolan, why did you hide this from me? It's summer and you've been wearing long sleeves for the past two days. What, were you going to wear your winter coat next?"

"I was saving it for the weekend, actually."

"Nolan."

Nolan took a deep breath. His jokes wouldn't work with her anymore, it was time to be serious. "Look, I just…you're here, and I'm here. We made it through with a few scars – can we move on? Your only concerns have been with avenging the past and mine have been with forging a future. Let's both of us try to enjoy the present for just awhile. That's all I want."

"That's it?"

"That's all I've ever wanted. For you to let it go and just... I don't know, hang out with me. Like a friend."

Emily tried to think of the last time she'd ever simply spent time with him before the fire, and she came up empty. He deserved more from her, and it was time that she finally gave it. She rallied herself, wondering if it wasn't too late for her to start a real life with him as her first friend.

The woman took a deep breath, steeling herself for the geek storm that she would invite when she said, "I know I'll regret this Nolan, but will you please show me how to play Arkham City?"

The man's smile was so wide that she worried his face might split. "Ems, you don't know how long I've waited to hear you say those words!"


	11. Chapter 11

Emily tensed, Nolan's voice a deep rumble across her back. The man was gently commanding, urging her onward. They had come too far to stop now, that line had been crossed. He was not her friend in this moment, but a guide, leading her in ways that no man ever had before.

He touched her shoulder and dropped his voice. "Softly, softly…"

Emily relaxed her grip, doing as he told her. "Like this?"

"Like that." He nodded, pleased with her. "Just like that."

She trembled, almost breathless, her nerves rising. "You're sure?"

"You need to trust me on this." He purred. "Do it, Ems."

"No, Nolan, I can't."

"You can. Do it. _Now."_

Emily took a breath to steady herself and then did as he'd told her, fingers tense as she rapidly tapped out a quick combination of buttons, A+A+Y+B+Y+A.

Onscreen, Catwoman swept across a filthy street in Arkham City, taking out a group of nameless thugs who thought to keep her from her prize. The sexy avatar was merciless in her assault, the character's steel resolve all too familiar to the pair on the sofa.

Emily's eyes were fixed to the screen, satisfied to see that Nolan's strategy had worked. "Wow. Look at that."

Beside her, perched on the back of the sofa, Nolan playfully nudged her bare thigh with his foot. It was late in the Ross household, with Emily having spent a few hours indulging Nolan's long-held fantasy of playing an X-box marathon. They'd boxed in a ring using his Kinect, they'd raced stolen cars in LA and she was now playing Arkham City's side adventure featuring the notorious Catwoman as the protagonist.

Wearing a plain satin camisol top and a matching pair of sleep shorts, Emily could have passed for Nolan's younger sister as she worked the controller under his direction. Of course when it came to games and gadgets, Nolan was the world's best teacher. Not that she would ever admit it.

"You look so impressed, and here I thought you were a real ninja."

Emily guided the avatar forward into the game, the object being to steal something precious from Dr. Strange, and she smiled at his comment. "I can fight but I'm nowhere near Catwoman's level. I don't know anyone who can kick ass like that in a fetish suit and heels."

Nolan watched as the game went into a cutscene, his eyes taking in the woman onscreen, all cleavage and sensual swagger. "Well, if you ever meet a woman who can, please send her my way."

"Yeah, I'll do that." She said sarcastically. "Why are you so into this game?"

The man shrugged. "I got to write some of the programming."

"You designed it?"

"Not the whole thing, no. But some of it, you know, like one piece of a big puzzle." He nudged her again. "You should know, it was in the company memos last year."

She hit _pause_ and set the controller aside, yawning. "And you should know that I'd been a little too busy to check in with what goes on at Nolcorp last year. I had a packed social calendar."

"Yeah, we both had a busy year." He almost didn't say the next words, but he found that he could not stop himself. "I'm proud of you."

She turned to look up at him. "Proud?"

"Yes. You did what you set out to do." Nolan moved to sit on the sofa beside her. "There aren't a lot of people who can say that, and most people's goals don't have anything to do with taking down powerful people."

Emily shrugged and rubbed her face. "Well, a gal likes to dream big."

"Much bigger and we wouldn't have made it out alive."

"But we did. We finished it, Nolan."

"You sound like you miss it."

Emily dipped her head. She knew Nolan was beyond judging her at this point, there could be no more secrets between them. "I don't want to miss it, but there's a part of me that still wants to see them pay for what they did."

The man was not repulsed by what she said. He was not even surprised, given everything that Emily had suffered. His hacking skills had uncovered rather more than she would have ever wanted him to know, and more than he'd thought it possible for one little girl to endure.

_If he'd known, if he'd only known…_

Nolan nodded, "If there was a way to keep moving against them, without us being hurt or found out, then sure, I'd keep going." He gave her an ironic smile. "You're not the only one with a mean streak."

"That's why we worked so well together," Emily smiled.

It could be said that Nolan and Emily were bonded by their paired penchant for soft cruelty, the betrayal and the losses they'd both suffered. This is all true, but their bond had been seeded by the man's loyalty and had then been allowed to grow by Emily's hard-won trust.

"That and no one suspects anything about us – I'm the resident techie and you're just another pretty face to see at the parties. The perfect team."

"I'll drink to that," Emily yawned into her hand. "Nolan, we've been gaming for a few hours already. I'm going to turn in for tonight."

"Thanks for playing, I know it took a lot for you to shed the cool-girl persona and geek out with me."

Smiling, Emily swatted his good shoulder. "I'm hopeful that someday I won't have any more personas and I can just be myself."

"And who is that?" He asked.

She stood from the sofa and shrugged. "When I figure it out, I'll let you know. But right now all I know is I'm tired."

"I'm not far behind you." He said as he watched her cross to the doorway of the guestroom.

Emily hesitated and turned back to him. "Your arm. It doesn't hurt anymore, does it?"

Standing, Nolan flexed his hand. The lotion she'd used had been a big help, and her bandages were holding. "No, it's all right for now. Thanks again."

She gave him another small smile and slipped into her room.

It was clear to Nolan that there was much on her mind, only Emily hadn't yet found a way to say any of it.

Nolan secured the house and went upstairs.

____________________

Hours after Emily had turned in, Nolan found that his insomnia had returned to him with a _vengeance_ ,for lack of a better term. The sleep he'd had for the past few nights was largely had in thanks to his medication, but he'd laid in bed for three straight hours with nothing to show for it but bloodshot eyes. There was nothing he wanted to watch on television, he'd finished his latest ebook and he'd already submitted his plans for the latest project at Nolcorp.

In all his years, he'd found that there was only one cure for his restless mind. True enough, he'd resisted the urge for the past few days as Emily was his guest, but Nolan had reached the breaking point. He needed to sleep and he would do what he knew it would take to get it.

_To hell with it._

Nolan swept his covers aside and headed downstairs.

The man was careful not to make any noise as he slipped out into the warm night air of the backyard. The night sky was clear, he could even make out a few constellations. He took a deep breath and shed the cotton pants he usually wore to bed. Careful to keep his wrappings above the water, Nolan waded to the opposite side of the shallow end of the pool, to look out at the shore below his house.

Unbeknownst to Emily and everyone else in the world, slipping out at two in the morning for a quick naked swim was fairly routine for Nolan Ross - his thoughts would refuse to settle at night unless he performed the ritual of shedding his clothes and swimming enough laps to exhaust himself. A true swim would be out of the question with his arm so injured, but all the same he wanted to absorb the warm stillness of the night.

Nolan rested his chin on his good elbow and let his eyes wander the dark horizon. He'd worked hard to overcome his fear of the ocean, but the sight of endless waves still held a terrible fascination for him. At night, it was a roiling, inky black mass that lead to the end of the world.

The salted breeze coming off the waves and the lapping of his pool were soothing to him, and he began to relax. His thoughts gentled and he closed his eyes, only resting them for a moment...

The man was startled out of his catnap by a splash at the other end of the pool.

He turned to see Emily bob to the surface of the deep end, her hair slicked back against her head.

"You're up late, Emily."

His friend gasped – clearly she hadn't known he was there. "Nolan, what're you doing?"

"I couldn't sleep so I came out here for a swim. It helps clear my head, you?"

Emily swam backward when he took a step toward her. "That's close enough," she warned him.

"What?"

"I…remember, I didn't get a bathing suit…"

Nolan stared at her blankly for a moment, but then it dawned on him. "You're naked?"

Emily sank a few more inches and cleared her throat in embarrassment.

He laughed. "Relax, so am I."

The look on her face was priceless. "What?!"

"Yeah, I didn't feel like changing."

Nolan didn't know why she looked so nervous. There was no light for Emily to see anything of him below the water, just as he could see nothing of her but the wet head bobbing in the middle of the pool. Pity.

Resting his elbows on the edge of the pool and facing her, Nolan wet his free hand and swept the water over his hair to get it out of his face. After a minute of this, he was slicked, as she was. They had mirrored each other for years.

"So what're you doing out here? Hoping to get a free show?"

"No!"

"You sure?" He glanced down at himself. "He'd love the extra attention."

Emily rolled her eyes. "You're disgusting, Nolan."

"I'm a man, it's in my nature." He shrugged. "So, what's keeping you up?"

Even in casual conversation, Nolan's concern was for Emily.

She drifted closer, until she could stand in the pool without showing her chest. Nolan might have seen her already but she wouldn't give him a free show, as he'd put it.

"I don't know," she answered truthfully. "A lot on my mind, I guess."

"Like me."

"Just like you. I was thinking over how to get this out, but since you're here I'll just say it." Emily took a deep breath. "Nolan, I'm sorry."

His eyes widened, "You didn't break the prototype TV, did you? Emily, I just built it!"

Again, she fought the urge to roll her eyes at him. This man treated his technology as precious as children. "No, I didn't break anything. I want to apologize for…well, for everything."

Emotion began to well up inside of her, tightening her chest as torturous memories descended on her mind – her every refusal to let him into her life, her every cutting remark and cold dismissal of him, this one man in all the world who had remained on her side even when she'd shown herself as the monster that a decade of hardship had made of her.

Nolan had never left, even when she'd left him. She was ashamed of herself, truly ashamed.

It was nearly impossible to do, but Emily forged ahead and let the bare truth spill over her lips.

"You came for me after my father died, you didn't have to do that. You could have let it go and just gone on with your life." Emily swiped at her eyes. "You were always so nice to me, and for years I've been horrible to you-"

"You haven't been that horrible," he started quietly.

Emily had much to apologize for and she needed him to let her do it. "Please, let me finish."

"Sorry, go ahead."

"I just…you don't know what it was like to have so many people against you for so long. I didn't even know how to trust you, but you kept trying to show me...and then you were here trying to help me, it was – I would have never gotten this far without you, you know that, don't you?" Emily asked him, struggling to keep her voice steady.

The woman was speaking of things outside of her vengeance, she was instead speaking of the things Nolan had given to her after she'd been released back into the world. Aside from the wealth, he'd given her the truth of the man her father had been and even more than that, he'd offered himself to her as a friend, though in her rage and sorrow she'd refused to see it, treating him instead as an annoyance.

The path she'd been on had been nothing but trouble; partying in rough clubs, attacking anyone who so much as looked at her in the wrong way, chasing base lusts and an escape into alcohol and drugs that, Emily was sure, would have gone on as far as her money lasted if Nolan hadn't been there to step in and put her from the brink.

In the darkness, they could not see each other's faces, but she knew the concerned expression he held, just as he knew she was fighting to hold herself back from crying. What she could not know was that Nolan wanted her to cry, to purge herself of all she'd been before and emerge as a new woman – a woman who embraced life, indulged her curiosity and found joy in the world.

Rome wasn't built in a day and the new Emily wouldn't be born from the tears of one night. Still, it was a start.

"I know," he said quietly. "I just didn't want to take all the credit."

"Can you forgive me? I can't erase the way I was before, but it's like you said, this can be a new start."

The black silhouette that was Nolan began to move through the water, until he was standing before her. Through the night she could see the small smile on his face. "Come on, Ems. There's nothing to forgive."

Again, simple words from Nolan Ross, the most loyal of men.

Emily surged in the water to stand tall and she pressed her lips to his.

It was a quick, soft kiss of gratitude. Emily's first genuine kiss in years. Nolan felt her bare breasts against his chest but he did not move to hold her to him and he did not attempt to prolong the kiss.

This was Emily's to give, not his to take.

It was over, and for a moment, Emily and Nolan could only look at each other in the near dark of the warm Hampton night, both of them fairly surprised by what she had done and yet neither of them felt even a trace of regret.

Emily took a deep breath. "Goodnight Nolan."

The man inclined his head to her. "Goodnight Emily."

Emily got out of the pool and strode, shamelessly nude, away from Nolan and back into the house.


	12. Chapter 12

Nolan had not approached Emily in the water on learning of their shared nudity beneath the surface of the pool. He had not been the one to kiss her and once it had happened, when Emily rose in the water and pressed her lips to his, he had not reached to touch her or press for anything more than what she'd offered to him.

His friend had kissed him in wordless gratitude, a simple expression of how she truly felt.

No.

The man had not followed the nude Emily back into the house with any thought to indulge his neglected libido - she had not invited him to her room and even if she had, Nolan had more control than that, and more respect for the woman. Instead, he only watched her return to the house and stayed in the pool for a while more, reclaiming his view of the shore below and the sea that stretched out to forever.

Curious, he pressed his fingertips to his lips, applying the same pressure that Emily had in her surprise kiss. It was not the same. He had learned early on that his own touch was a disappointment when compared to the touch of another, be they man or woman.

Nolan yawned and rubbed at his temple, knowing that he should go back inside and try for sleep. _Like that's going to happen now_ , he chided himself. _She always keeps me on my toes._

True enough, there would be no sleep but he couldn't stay in the water all night.

Nolan climbed out of the pool and quickly tugged on the pair of pants he'd set aside earlier that night.

Once he made his way into the house, the man did not let himself pause at Emily's door.

____________________

It had not been a planned thing to kiss Nolan, but Emily had done it anyway. A pop of spontaneity in a world where she'd done everything to maintain control.

 _I shouldn't have done that. He might think -_ Emily didn't let herself finish the thought. She knew Nolan, he was different from other men. He was better.

_But what if...?_

Nolan was a man and so might expect more from her than the simple kiss as a show of her gratitude. Sadly, Emily was no stranger to the demands of men – she had learned during her time spent in the institutions and foster homes, and then later in the detention center, how easily men could demand more from her than she was willing to give.

Not that Nolan would find her unwilling if he chose to cross into her room.

Emily shivered.

She had been without a man's touch for months, and revenge, her longtime companion, had been taken from her. She was lonely and afraid in a strange new way.

Emily tensed when she heard him come back inside from the backyard. The woman listened, her senses sharp as wariness rose within her. There was the _snick_ of the locks on the backdoor, then the soft _ping_ as he reset the house alarm.

And there, soft measured footsteps were approaching…and then went past her door without breaking stride.

Emily released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

A piece of her was cheering silently in relief while another, smaller piece of her was almost disappointed that Nolan's self-control had won out in the end.

Emily dismissed her conflicted feelings for the night, unsure and on edge. Trust existed between them, though she had fought against trusting Nolan for years. With the kiss, she had changed the dynamic they shared, recklessly introduced a new element.

She slipped under the comforter and sighed to herself. There was no regret in kissing the man, that had been a moment for them to share.

What came next, she would let Nolan decide.

____________________

Nolan and Emily did not speak of the kiss the next day, or the next or the day following. Their time was spent in guarded avoidance of the topic, choosing instead to focus attention on each other.

He wanted to serve her a life's worth of distraction from the new charges against Victoria and the trial of Conrad - he was wired into the prosecution's every move, of course, but he was doing everything he could think of to keep her attention away from her former obsessions.

For her part, Emily relented her control, allowing the man to veil her eyes against the happenings outside of his home. At once it was the most difficult and the easiest thing she had ever done. To put her future into another's hands for even a moment was unthinkable…but if her future was safe with anyone, she knew it would be Nolan.

The man claimed that he held no grudge for how she'd treated him, and Emily wanted to believe him. She wanted to believe him and she wanted to do this little thing he'd asked of her and simply be _happy._

But how?

The vengeance that had consumed her for a decade had come to an abrupt halt – any lingering urge she had was immediately quieted with the remembered sight of Nolan's furious burn.

She glanced over to him as they walked along the shore. Now that she knew of his wound, Nolan had given up wearing long sleeves and had put on an orange polo for the day, fully exposing his bandaged forearm.

On his opposite arm, she glimpsed the knife scar gifted to him by Tyler Barrol over a year in the past. Nolan had proven himself as her shield with no complaint. It was not often that Emily felt gratitude, but when she did the feeling was always felt toward her friend.

In time, she thought that she would accept with satisfaction that the Graysons and the others had been decimated – careers destroyed, families broken and names ruined. Yes, she could accept that her promise of revenge had been fulfilled, even if it had not gone her way.

But what Nolan asked of her seemed an impossible task.

_Happiness._

Happiness was a thing meant for the innocent and the untried. Emily was neither.

Nolan wouldn't hear of it.

He'd tapped his knuckles against her door. "Want to get some air?"

Emily had been leafing through one of his old comic books more out of boredom than any true interest. "Where do you want to go?"

Nolan had shrugged, "Nowhere exotic. I was thinking the beach. Unless you'd rather stay in and keep reading my comics, I have plenty more where that issue came from."

Given the choice of the beach or more comic books from the 80s, Emily had leapt at the former.

From there, their time spent on the shoreline became something of a routine for the next several days.

Somehow, Nolan had coaxed her into walking on the beach, digging for clams and crabs and, despite how foolish they felt for being seen doing so by the joggers going past, they'd built several sandcastles that disappeared with the tide.

Nolan could be just as manipulative as she, though his ends were rarely as devious.

Rather than glare her refusal, Emily had found herself indulging him and truly enjoying their outings to the shore; the days were bright with cool breezes and they were both feeling well enough to enjoy it. Her bruises were fading with each new day and the wound to her head was no longer causing her headaches.

She'd smiled when he joked and she baited him into banter. For hours, Emily was pleasant company, though she remained her usual guarded self.

Until _it_ happened.

They were sitting in the sand, with three little crabs scuttling between them on a strip of dried seaweed. Nolan prodded a crab with a stick he'd picked up along their walk. "We could make another sandcastle for these guys," he suggested. "Every bug should get to be king for a day."

In the waning sun, Emily had grown tired and wordlessly shook her head against the idea.

"All right, never mind."

It was not what Nolan had said so much as the way he'd said it that struck her.

_"Never mind."_

At once, Emily found herself laughing hysterically at him, laughter so true and free bubbling up through her chest with such force that she fell back in the sand.

Confused, Nolan had only frowned, moving to stand above her like an indulgent parent, watching the girl giggle herself into oblivion. "What's so funny, Ems?"

The woman could only go on laughing until her ribs ached with recovered joy.

Nolan might not have understood that he had given Emily back a flash of her childhood for a few precious moments but he did know the significance of the woman losing herself to a fit of giggles. He had never seen her laugh outside of her practiced society smiles, it was a wonderful sight to see, Emily doubled-over and laughing over nothing.

"Want to let me in on the joke?"

Emily gasped out, "You just...I can't..."

"I knew you were nuts, kiddo. Come on, we've been out all day." Nolan extended his intact hand and pulled Emily to stand up before him. He linked his uninjured arm with hers and together they began to walk again, the gritty sand coating their bare feet.

"Are you hungry?" She asked once she'd gotten her laughter under control.

They had taken to sharing the responsibility of making dinner, and after Nolan had charmed her with an authentic French beef stew the night before, Emily was determined to impress the man with a Japanese dish she had learned while abroad with Takeda.

Nolan cleared his throat as his house came into view farther up the shore. "For your cooking? I'm starved."

"You look starved." Emily pinched his waist, looking for a bit of fat.

He brushed her hand away, afraid to betray himself as ticklish. "I look great. I could eat, though. You think your dinner can hold a candle to mine from last night?"

"I think you'll beg me for the recipe."

"Keep dreaming, the only thing I've ever had to beg for is my life."

Emily shook her head, "Those days are over, Nolan."

He nudged her, "Is that a promise?"

Together, the pair enjoyed the walk back to the shared house in content silence. There was no pressure, no caution, no bitterness to undercut their time together.

The knot of angry tension she'd been carrying was unwinding itself, slowly allowing Emily to finally relax and even have a bit of fun as she tried to follow Nolan's carefree lead.

They continued on their lazy stroll back up the shore, unaware of the suspicious eyes that followed their every step.

Author's Note: The exchange in which Emily has a laughing fit over Nolan saying "never mind" was inspired by Gabriel Mann telling a behind the scenes story of how Emily VanCamp started laughing over how he'd said "never mind" during the Revenge panel at PaleyFest, which I watched on Hulu. Please read, review and enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: The exchange in which Emily has a laughing fit over Nolan saying "never mind" was inspired by Gabriel Mann telling a behind the scenes story of how Emily VanCamp started laughing over how he'd said "never mind" during the Revenge panel at PaleyFest, which I watched on Hulu. Please read, review and enjoy!


	13. Chapter 13

Waves of spice and tart sweetness unfolded over him, enveloping the man in a cloud of unique flavor. Emily had boasted that he would beg her for the recipe and he was damn close to doing so, but he wouldn't betray his envy of her skill in the kitchen.

Nolan kept quiet throughout the meal, ignoring Emily's smug look of triumph. She knew he was enraptured by the dish and that he was fighting every second of it.

"Was I right?" She prodded when he reached to serve himself another helping.

Nolan hesitated before answering. "It's...mmm, decent."

"Just decent?"

He licked his bottom lip, swiping away a drop of sauce. "I've had better."

Emily raised a brow at him. "You've had better? Where?"

"Um…Tokyo." Nolan mumbled around a mouthful, teasing her now.

She nodded, her disbelief clear. "Sure you did. Fine, I'll just have to do better next time."

Nolan looked up at her and sipped his wine. "I guess you will. Do you want to watch another movie tonight? I have G.I. Joe: Retaliation or the Dark Knight Rises."

His eyes were bright as he listed the films, still thrilled to have access to the blockbusters that had yet to be released to theaters. Emily was still coming to understand that, at his core, Nolan Ross was very much a boy obsessed with movies, video games and building better, faster toys.

Still, his taste in film left something to be desired. "So my choice is between Batman or G.I. Joe? Is there a third option?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Battlestar Galactica."

"Say no more, Batman it is."

____________________

After dinner and after the film, Emily had changed into a satin camisole and shorts, then padded up the stairs to Nolan's bedroom. She knocked on the door, knowing he expected her.

Nolan poked his head out of the bathroom, a foamy toothbrush in his hand. "Can I help you, Miss?"

"I wanted to see if you still needed me to wrap your arm tonight?"

Nolan eyed her, and she knew what he wanted. "That depends. Will you lotion it again?"

Emily smiled at him. It was ridiculous, this dance they'd come to do for the last few nights. Nolan could slather his wound in aloe just as easily as she could, but he had grown spoiled by her masterful touch. Not that she minded, Emily was glad to do whatever she could to ease his pain.

"If you want."

"Then yes, I am in desperate need of your medical skill." He gestured to his nightstand where she'd left the lotion the night before. "Just give me a second."

While Nolan finished brushing his teeth and changed out of his day clothes, Emily rolled the bottle between her palms and took her usual spot on the edge of his bed. She had come to like his bedroom; while Nolan liked his gadgets and his clothes, Emily had found that he liked simple comforts as well. The bed she rested on was large to accommodate his height, its sheets were soft, the blanket was warm and the mountain of tossed pillows were either very soft or very firm, depending on his needs for the night.

It was a strange thing to live with Nolan. Emily trusted him, she did, he had proven himself beyond bribing and intimidation by their shared enemies. He fulfilled his promise to David Clarke ten times over, and yet here he still stood, her ally, her one friend.

She wondered sometimes, if her life had been different, how Nolan might have fit into it.

Interrupting her thoughts as he strode out of the bathroom, clad in his usual uniform for the evening, a pair of burgundy lounge pants, Nolan flopped down on the bed beside her, extending his injured arm like a prince fully expecting to be pampered for the night.

"Grease me up, woman."

"I'd smack your arm for that, but I don't want to make you cry." Emily said as she pumped lotion from the bottle into her palm.

The woman moved closer, until she sat beside him in the center of the bed, and took his bandaged hand into her own. Nolan laid back and watched as she began to unravel the gauze. The man cherished this time with her, perhaps more than he should, but he was unable to help himself. He liked having Emily tend to him, but more than that, he simply liked having contact with a woman he trusted.

Obliging, Emily was careful to unwrap his bandages and tossed them into the bedside trash.

The injured skin wasn't as furious red or blistered as it had been the first night that she'd seen it, several days ago now. His arm was an ugly thing and would likely be healing for several more weeks to come, and Emily was determined to tend to the wound for him until only the scars remained.

She felt Nolan tense as the burn was exposed to fresh air, but she shushed him soon enough by smothering his wound in the soothing lotion. Her hands were light on his skin as she began to massage the cooling balm over the burn, coating it, smothering the wound.

Nolan watched her slick hands moving over his arm in the dim quiet of his room, and tried to ignore the wicked thought of being the one to spread lotion over her body in a full nude massage.

Emily was careful and slow in wrapping his arm in fresh bandages. Glancing to Nolan, she realized he was already half-asleep, his breathing even and his eyes half-hooded.

She started off the bed but Nolan sat up and grasped her wrist, "Stay with me."

It was not a command of her, and nor was it a plea.

Emily looked at him, his eyes telling her that he only wanted her company, nothing more. If she was being honest with herself, it was almost disappointing.

The woman did not protest or hesitate. She only moved to lay down beside him and soon found herself nearing sleep at his side.

When Emily woke beside him in the morning, she told herself she couldn't let it happen again.

____________________

Later in the morning, after being nudged awake by Emily and dragged along for her early morning run, Nolan set to work on a bolt of inspiration. It'd been a snap, one moment the idea was not there, and in the next, he could see it - the next step in the evolution of technocom.

"I can see it, I can build it, I just need...where's my notepad?" Nolan muttered as they came in from the beach, sweaty and sandy from their jog up and down the shore.

Emily watched as Nolan moved about the kitchen in erratic circles, talking to himself like a lunatic. It was clear the genius needed to be alone to make his next great breakthrough.

Monumental leaps in technology couldn't make themselves, after all. It took someone special, someone with a sharp mind and the vision to execute an idea into fruition, someone like Nolan Ross.

Emily went off for a shower and to dress for the day, while Nolan set up an improvised work station on the kitchen table. He was so consumed with his idea that he barely noticed as she went off to the lower bathroom. He could see the system in his mind's eye, all it took was the effort to bring the project into reality.

He sketched out a drawing of the finished project and made a quick list of the material he would need to build it.

Minutes later, Nolan looked up in irritation at the sound of impatient pounding at his front door. He hated being interrupted when working. Add some loud banging on his door and Nolan was not in a mood fit for outside company.

"Nolan, open up!"

Especially not _his_ company.

_It's about time you showed up, I was starting to think you didn't care!_

Not bothering with the security monitor, Nolan pulled open the door and raised his brows. "Wow, what the hell are you doing here?"

Daniel stood on the other side of the threshold, unimpressed with Nolan's greeting. "I came to see Emily."

"I'll just bet you did. And how's that conversation going to go, hmm? She would've been dead if I hadn't been on the phone with her and heard her being attacked!"

That got Daniel's attention. "You saved her?"

Nolan nodded, fixing Daniel in his icy stare. "Yeah, I saved her. I carried her out of a fire set by your whacked-out monster of a mother who was just standing there watching while the house went up in fla-"

"Enough, Nolan!" Emily emerged from behind him, clothed only in another of his long t-shirts. She'd been about to step into the shower when she'd heard the raised voices and ran out to see what was happening, their plan be damned.

Her expression was earnest as she appealed to him, "Please, let Daniel and I talk."

Nolan turned his irritation from Daniel to Emily. Her eyes were there before him, hinting at a need for privacy. He was sure he knew why.

"Oh, you want to talk to him, huh? Fine. Take all the time you need, I'm going for a drink."

The man slammed out of the house, leaving Emily and Daniel alone.

____________________

Hours later, Nolan scowled into his empty glass, muttering quietly to himself in the rustic security of the Stowaway. Jack had the day off, leaving Declan and Bull to manage. It was just as well, he had grown used to being alone and for all he knew, the house might be empty by the time he made it home.

"I don't know what he was thinking, coming to my house, and her? She asked _me_ to leave so they could talk! I should've said no – no, Daniel cannot set foot in my house and no, I will not leave the two of you alone to talk. You think that's all they did was just talk?"

Declan was only half-listening to the older man's complaining, his attention mostly focused on the new waitress as she took orders from the booths on the far side of the bar. He liked Nolan, odd bird that he was, though he wasn't clear on what was bothering him, exactly. The man had stormed into the bar, taken a stool, ordered a stiff drink, then another and then several more, and he had only just started going on about Daniel Grayson and some girl.

Declan had enough manners not to ask Nolan outright, but he'd always thought that if anyone would be getting under his skin, it'd be another guy, not a girl. He shrugged the thought away, to each own.

"Come on, man, you need to calm down."

Nolan glanced up to the young man and then back to his drink, or what few drops remained of it in his glass. "Just calm down, like it's so easy. Dec, you can't understand it, I was close. This was all over and then he shows up and ruins everything. He is his parents, much more than Charlotte ever was."

Declan rolled his eyes, finally paying a bit of real attention at the mention of Charlotte. He hadn't had contact with her in months, but that didn't mean he didn't still care about her. She had been his first love.

"What're you talking about now?"

"More time, we just needed more time together and she would've left it all behind. But I saw it, I could see it in her eyes, she's right back where she started because she can't let it go. She won't. Not for me, not for herself." Nolan speared his fingers through his hair, wondering if it wasn't too late to have Emily shipped off to a deserted island somewhere far away from everything she'd ever known, somewhere far away from what remained of the Graysons and her vengeance.

"She's just addicted to this thing, it's sick. I need to put her in rehab. I could, you know. I am her next of kin."

Seeing that this was getting them nowehere, Declan moved the empty glass away from Nolan and refused him another drink, placing a cola before him instead. "You're a wreck, who're we talking about here?"

Nolan sighed heavily and took the soda without further complaint. "Oh, don't listen to me, Dec. I'm just yacking the day away." He reassured him and checked his watch. "I should get back. God, I hope she's still there."


	14. Chapter 14

It was early afternoon by the time the man returned to his home, dread knotting its way through his stomach with each step he took over the front threshold. Now that his anger had calmed under a low tide of liquor and a few hours' time, he'd come to feel sheepish, thinking that perhaps he had overreacted when Emily asked him for privacy in dealing with Daniel, slamming the door and storming out as he had - but he knew that flash in her eye when she'd drawn his gaze to hers; it signaled that she saw some angle to exploit, some opportunity to backslide into the life Nolan was fighting so hard to help her leave behind.

Her want to be alone with Daniel was no bother to Nolan, it was that look in her eyes that upset him so deeply - to him it had seemed that Emily was jumping at the chance to manipulate the young Grayson, as if everything Nolan had done for her meant nothing.

_What disaster do you have planned for them now? They can't fall any further, I thought you could see that._

The man set his keys on the kitchen counter, careful to listen for voices. There were none, his house was silent. He glanced over and stilled at the sight of a plain white envelope resting near his charging tablet. He knew it had not been there when he'd left earlier in the day.

Nolan stood, staring at the envelope, silently debated with himself over opening it. What would it say, how would it begin? He imagined several different notes, and they all resulted in the loss of his friend and his house standing empty once again.

_'I'm sorry, Nolan, I thought I was done but I'm not finished with them yet'_ or _'the Graysons are on to me, I have to run and I can't take you with me.'_ Or even, Nolan was most dreading to read the words _'Daniel and I are running away together.'_

"Nolan?"

The man looked up in surprise to see the woman step out of the guestroom. There she was, dressed for the day and smiling. Daniel was nowhere in sight, which gave Nolan hope - hope that his efforts hadn't been wasted, hope that Emily's crusade was well and truly over for her.

"Emily, you're still here," he breathed.

She moved toward him, her expression somehow serene though as she came closer, he could see that her eyes were red. She had been crying, something Nolan had never seen for himself. What the hell had happened while he'd been gone?

The woman came in close to him, silently curling her thin arms around his torso and pressing her cheek into his shoulder. Awkwardly, Nolan lifted his arms to return her surprise embrace.

He held her until she pulled back, and he fumbled for the words. "I thought you might've…I mean, Daniel came back for you."

Her face faltered for a moment at the mention of the other man. "He won't be coming back again."

"What happened?"

He saw the internal debate taking place, and he saw that discretion won out in the end. Emily shook her head against further questions - whatever was said between Emily and Daniel was not for him to know. Nolan could let her have her secret, so long as she remained.

Emily tucked her hair behind her ear, "Nothing that matters now, Nolan."

He looked at her and she went on, "Every once in a great while, something you say gets through to me. You were right all along. The Graysons have been exposed, so has everyone they paid off or threatened into seeing my father framed for their crimes. There's nothing left to do but start living. It's over."

Nolan smiled and moved forward to take her hands into his, bringing her in close again. "It's a strange thought, isn't it? You did it, you pulled it off beautifully."

She didn't pull away from him and, surprising them both, she actually let the man bring her into a lazy swaying dance. _Only Nolan._

"It'll take some getting used to." Emily agreed. "Since that New Year's Eve party, there's been nothing but this and now it's gone."

Nolan twirled her, and Emily played along, even bowing to him.

"It's gone." He echoed, so relishing this, what he saw as the birth of the new _Emily 2.0_ , lighter, brighter and revengenda-free. "What do you want to do now?"

Nolan felt up for anything, anything she wanted to do would be a celebration of sorts. She had closed the book on her past, she was ready for a real future. Maybe it was a good thing that Daniel had come, maybe Emily meeting with him had been the catalyst to break the stranglehold her own craving for vengeance had had over her life these past ten years.

Emily shrugged. "Right now? I'd like a swim."

"Plenty of house suits." He reminded her.

The thought of wearing one of the bathing suits shared by the women Nolan had brought to his home over the years held no appeal to her - Emily had borrowed Nolan's clothes, but she drew the line here. "I'll pass on that, Nolan."

"You can skinnydip again, I promise I won't look. Much." He gave her a sly grin.

Emily threw him a challenging look. "I'll go if you go."

The grin slipped from his face, "I'm afraid I'm not that brave. Not in the daytime, at least. You go ahead if you want, I'll stay away from the pool."

The woman shook her head, turning her eyes to the view outside. "I know every inch of this place is wired, at any given time you can watch me swim, shower or sleep."

Her accusation was on the mark, he didn't bother to deny it. "How do you know I don't do that already?"

"For some reason, you trust me enough not to spy on me. Poor misguided man."

"Story of my life."

Emily slipped on her gifted ballet flats, "Let's go into town instead."

"All right. I guess you've been cooped up here long enough."

______________________________

A short time later would see Emily and Nolan strolling, their arms linked, up and down the shop streets of Montauk. Nolan was simply happy, his earlier worry that she had left had moved him more strongly than he'd expected. He didn't want to lose his companion, he had worked so hard to help her, now it seemed that the "new" Emily was his reward - the friend in her he'd always wanted, though at times he had found himself wondering about a future beyond friendship.

For an instant, his thoughts flashed to their nightly ritual, Emily sitting beside him in his bed and tending his burn. Those intimate moments, always a breath away from the sensual edge...

Just as quickly, Nolan shook the thoughts away - he doubted Emily could see him in that way, and him? Emily was too important to risk driving her away by trying anything foolish.

For her part, Emily had spent years guarding her true feelings. What she felt toward Nolan would remain unspoken until she felt the time had come for words, though they had grown nearly inseparable in the past several months.

That hadn't been by accident.

Nolan lead her around a corner, their loose intent being to find Emily a bathing suit so that she might use his pool or the beach during the day. Not that either of them would mind another naked night swim, but she would never admit to it. _Stubborn_ was Emily's middle name.

Emily glanced across the street and recognized the dress shop. She remembered the day very well, it had been the day of the yacht party and she had been both nervous and excited even as she projected herself as the picture of serenity. Inside, she had been calculating, eager, practically counting the minutes until her first opportunity presented itself to find an opening into the Grayson's world of elite privilege.

_I can't be that way anymore_ , she thought. _It's over, my life is my own now. There's no going back._

Nolan walked on, a few steps forward before he realized that she had paused on their path. He approached her, touching her arm. "Emily?"

The woman gestured to the store across the street. "That dress shop, that's where Sammy and Jack first saw me. Do you remember the Memorial Day party on the boat? It seems like a long time ago now."

"You were a different person then."

"Maybe not different enough."

He didn't like these moments of heaviness that descended on his friend. He preferred her lighter and laughing, but he understood the woman carried her regret now that her revenge was done. This was the fallout of the storm they had created.

"You're too hard on yourself, Ems." He put his hand over her shoulder, urging her to walk forward, away from the dress shop and the memories it stirred in her mind.

She walked at his side once more, surprising them both when she did not shrug off his guiding hand. What they did in the security of his house was between them, but to allow this contact in public was different. Emily had grown tired of pretending Nolan as a simple passing acquaintance, the man she owed her life to deserved more from her.

"Maybe I'm not hard enough."

Nolan shook his head. "That's where you're wrong. It's been a long road and if you can't forgive them, you can at least get the best revenge by living well."

She sighed lightly.

Nolan looked around for something to cheer Emily and he found it, three storefronts up the block.

"Why don't you go grab a seat? I'll be right back."

Emily shrugged and walked over to a bench that faced the shore, her eyes taking in the joggers running with their dogs and the children playing on the beach. How was it that she could feel so light in one moment and then so dark in the next? Would she ever be free of it, to live well, as Nolan had always wanted for her?

She started as the man returned and held out an ice cream cone to her.

"Here, Ems. Cheer up."

Surprised, Emily took it and gave a tentative lick, the cold sweetness of raspberry swirl working its magic to lift her spirit. Nolan moved to sit beside her, licking at his own treat, toffe nut cream.

For a time, they simply sat, enjoying their flavors and the view. Nolan covered Emily's hand with his, and she smiled, welcoming his secure touch.

______________________________

As much as they might have liked to, the pair could not sit and people-watch all day; they had come into town for a reason, and so they soon found themselves in a unisex boutique only blocks away from the shore. Strangely, in all the time they'd spent plotting in style, not to mention Nolan's love of clothes and Emily's constant need to freshen up her wardrobe, the pair had never shopped together.

After finding a suit while Nolan had been busy trying on jackets, Emily raised her brow at him, "Another blazer? What's that, you have three in every color now?"

Nolan shook his head, "You're embellishing, I don't have that many. Besides I have to replace the one I lost in the fire." He reminded her as he admired himself in the trifold mirror. His eyes narrowed on her shopping bag, "What'd you get?"

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know?" She asked in a light tease, "I'll show you later."

Nolan smoothed an imagined crease in his new jacket and quickly made his purchase before following her to the boutique door. Stepping outside, he held his uninjured arm out to her and Emily linked her arm though his without a hint of hesitation.

"Still the woman of mystery." Nolan smirked at her, "Want an early dinner?"

"Why not? We've already had our dessert."

Happily, the pair stepped out to take on the town.

______________________________

After their dinner shared in a local treasure overlooking the docks, so treasured because of the happy hour frozen margaritas and the fresh lobster tails, The Bait Bucket waitress and bartender enjoyed enormous tips from Nolan and a half-tipsy Emily.

He guided her out of the restaurant and back down the street, his arm over her narrow shoulders, laughing at her. "When did you become such a lightweight, Ems? I remember you pounding shots back in the day."

Emily shook her buzzing head, "Hey, I haven't been drinking since last year and I don't need to be teased by you, you're a lush."

"I'm the lush? You're the one who wanted top-shelf margaritas, and you're the one who drank twice as much as I did." Nolan teased.

"It's been a rough week, I deserved a drink and -"

"You had four of them, babe, and I think my week has been rougher than yours." Nolan challenged. "Do you need me to carry you to the car?"

"Do I look like a kid who just snuck her first beer?"

Nolan stopped and Emily turned to face him, uncaring of the other people passing them in the early evening. He looked at her, taking in the full sight of her now and comparing it to the Emily from weeks ago. Before the fire, he had been concerned for her, the stress of her double-life being so great that he'd often worried she might crack. She had been harder toward him then, the strain she put upon herself often resulted in her lashing out at him when she was under pressure. He'd resented her greatly for it, but he had taken her lashings like a martyr, knowing the fruits of their labor would be worth her insults when the smoke cleared.

And now?

Now it was the same woman who stood before him, stripped of her forced perfection, her exhausting web of lies and the storm of anger locked behind a steel resolve. With the flames, it had all gone away, leaving her stipped of sinister purpose, a blank slate. He'd seen her smile more in the past several days than he had in all the time she'd spent in the Hamptons, he'd seen her guard drop for a few precious moments at a time. This Emily was on the road to recovery, he was sure of it.

The true woman was far from Emily Thorne as she was known to everyone in their little Hamptons world.

"I think you finally look free."

Nolan hadn't meant anything with what he said, he only put what he saw into words. Emily did look free, there were even moments when she was genuinely happy, he'd seen that for himself.

Emily stood before him, speechless for once, and staring at him until her gaze made him uncomfortable. Her dark gaze was unnerving at times, and was the reminder that Emily knew him just as well as he knew her, stripped down to the core.

Nolan reached for her hand. "Come on, let's head back to the house."

______________________________

After the sun had slipped deep into the horizon and the sky swirled gold, pink and indigo, Nolan scrolled through a few e-mails from his liuetenant at Nolcorp.

_Looks like things are picking up at the office_ , he thought with a sly smile. _It's about time for that party._

The man set his tablet aside and looked up to see Emily emerge from the house barefoot, wearing a striking red bikini, a far cry from the modest blue one-piece she'd worn the summer previous. Not bothering to hide his appreciation of the sight as she neared the pool, the man blew a wolf whistle at her. "You make a nice beach bunny. So I guess this means no more skinny dipping?"

Emily playfully rolled her eyes at him. "You guess right. That was a one-time thing."

Nolan shrugged, "Fine, I never got to see anything anyway."

"Poor baby. I could flash you if you'd feel better."

He brightened, "Really?"

"No!"

"Tease."

"Pervert."

"Guilty." Nolan narrowed sharp eyes at her and stepped in close. "Hey Emily, don't move. There's a bug on your shoulder." Before the woman could react, Nolan had lunged and pushed her in the pool.

"Mess with the bull and you get the horns, babe, bet you didn't see that coming - no, don't!"

Nolan didn't even get the chance to enjoy his prank for long, as Emily surfaced and grabbed his ankle to throw him off-balance and pull him into the water after her.

"Ha, ha, very funny. That's just hilarious" Nolan groused once he surfaced. "You couldn't have waited until I was wearing a suit?"

Emily splashed him, carefree for a moment. "You said I need to be more spontaneous."

"Me and my big mouth," Nolan muttered as he hauled himself out of the pool. He fished his ruined cell phone out of his pocket and tossed it on the patio table. Soaked from shirt to shoes, he decided not to drip his way through the house and all the way upstairs to some dry clothes.

Emily moved to the edge of the pool and watched him start to undress on the deck.

Two soaked loafers and socks, one dripping lime polo shirt and the white undershirt beneath it, then the slim-cut khakis that he wrung out and set on a chair, leaving the man clad only in his navy boxer briefs.

He glanced over to see Emily watching him, and he threw her a wicked smile. "See something you like?"

Blushing, Emily turned her back to him. "No!"

Nolan was not convinced. "Liar. I'm going to put on my own suit, though it's not as hot as yours. Come on upstairs if you want the full show."

The man was all bravado and humor, as always. Emily watched him go into the house and then up the stairs. _Free_. That's what he'd called her earlier that night. Floating in Nolan's pool, looking up at the darkening sky, Emily felt secure and relaxed - freedom, perhaps. A truly welcome feeling after so many years of paranoia and bitterness. She closed her eyes for a few minutes, lulled by the sound of the waves below the house.

"Emily, do you have any plans, say, nine days from now? The 17th."

She opened her eyes to see Nolan standing over her at the edge of the pool, board shorts slung low on his hips.

"Seeing as my social calendar is ashes, I have no idea. What's happening on the 17th?"

"Just keep that night open for me." He shrugged. Nolan sank down to sit on the edge of the pool, dangling his legs in the water.

"Now who's being mysterious?"

"Mmm, your wily ways have rubbed off on me." He drawled as he leaned back, swaying his legs in the pool.

Emily smirked at the comment through the quickly coming darkness. He had left the lights out as dusk swept over them. She didn't mind, it was pleasant to be in the water with him again, they had not shared the pool since the night she'd kissed him. Heat rose in her face and chest at the memory. It was nothing she regretted, and nothing she wouldn't do again if the time felt right.

"It was bound to happen sooner or later," Emily said as she moved to stand in the pool before him. Playfully, she reached out, caught his left foot in her hands and again tried to pull him into the water.

Nolan pulled from her grasp, "Fool me once, Emily."

"You've learned."

"Only because you taught me so well." Nolan kicked at the water, splashing her.

"You're really going to leave me in suspense for over a week?"

Nolan laughed, a low chuckle at her impatience. "I sure am, now you'll know what it's like to be kept in the dark."

She splashed him lightly. "You're cruel, Nolan."

"Again, I learned from the best."

He hadn't meant to strike her with his words, but they speared through Emily, their impact clear on her face. Nolan immediately regretted what he said, revealing his hidden resentments with a careless comment. He leaned forward, "Ems, I'm sorry, that wasn't what I meant-"

Emily shook her head. "No, you were telling the truth. It's all right, Nolan. I was cruel to you for a long time. But I saw the light today, while I was with Daniel. There's no more reason to hold onto the past, I can be who I want now. I can be happy."

Nolan smiled down to her, "That's all I've ever wanted."

His words challenged her and the flash of heat she'd felt at their first night in the pool urged her on; this man knew her, just as she knew him well enough to know that her happiness was not all that sustained him.

"Don't fool yourself. A part of you, deep down, has always wanted more."

Nolan froze as Emily moved between his legs, hoisting herself out of the water with her hands on his knees, surging to rise to him once again, her lips finding his in the dark.


	15. Chapter 15

It was a moment of deja vu.

A dark night, a pool with two people sharing the water, a woman who surprised a man with a kiss.

Nolan felt her lips against his, full, soft and very warm. Unlike what had happened that first night, Nolan allowed himself the freedom to react - Emily had initiated this, she would not find him passive. He tilted his head, moving his lips against hers as his eyes slipped closed, taking the kiss deeper than she might have intended.

His hands did not remain still at his sides, he lifted them to the woman, a hand to grasp her waist and a hand to cup her face. The kiss was deep, gentle, an interplay of lips that was worlds away from the nothing peck of days before.

When they parted, heat colored their faces and their breathing was deep. Nolan's hands released her as Emily lowered herself back into the dark water before him. Her eyes held his, aroused, vulnerable, and suddenly uncertain.

She turned away from him and Nolan snapped, "Don't."

The man slipped down into the water and walked toward her, a step forward for each that Emily took back, until her back hit the opposite edge of the pool. He stood before her and reached out, crooking his forefinger under her chin and turning her to face him.

When he spoke, his voice was firm but not unkind. "Don't you turn away from me, not after that, not after everything else."

She looked at him as he'd asked of her, fighting to hold his gaze. "I'm sorry, Nolan."

He furrowed his brow, wanting to understand. "For kissing me again? Why? I'm not."

Emily shook her head. "It was...I shouldn't have done that."

"What makes you say that? Let's kiss again just to make sure." Nolan smiled at her, teasing, and Emily couldn't help but to do the same.

Nolan pulled her to him, not for the kiss he wanted, but simply to hold her. The man wasn't sure why she ran from one extreme to another in the space of seconds, kissing him in one blink and running from him in the next, he only knew that, as seemed to be his curse, he wanted to help.

"Come on, talk to me." He urged, his voice a quiet purr in her ear. "I know talking things out isn't your way, but you opened the door to this, Ems."

She sighed against him, wishing she had his talent for jokes and deflection, but Nolan deserved the truth.

"This is hard to say, I'm not sure I can explain it."

How could she tell him what they had put her through? Emily closed her eyes, forcing the memories away, all of them trying to rise and overtake her. She wouldn't let her past win, not now, not when she'd only just won her freedom for the future.

Emily twined her arms around Nolan, holding him as he held her. She needed him, he was her anchor. He rested his chin on the crown of her head and smoothed his palms up and down her back. "It's all right, Ems. Whatever it is, you don't have to tell me until you're ready. You know how important you are to me, don't you?"

"As important as you are to me."

The truth could often be a simple thing between them.

"You got it." Nolan took a step back so he could look her in the eyes, his hands moving to cup the curves of her shoulders. "I won't pretend this hasn't happened again, and I can't pretend I don't care, because you know me better than that."

Emily nodded, "I do."

"Good. Then you also know that you're safe with me, whatever you decide. But one way or another, I need to know what you want."

Nolan kissed her temple then, lingering close, tempted, before he found the strength to leave her with that, releasing her from his arms and climbing out of the pool.

______________________________

It wasn't Nolan's intent to be dismissive of Emily or how she felt, it was only that he wanted to kiss her again, and more - an unwise thing, given that she'd just voiced her regret in kissing him that night.

_She likes to keep a guy guessing._

The man thought he knew the reason behind her hesitance: the traumas she'd suffered years ago, the abuse she might still associate with intimacy. It made him wonder how she could stomach being with Daniel, but Nolan would die before he put her into a position where she would have to rally just to stomach _his_ touch.

Walking into his room and then over to the bathroom, Nolan rubbed his hands over his face, trying to block the bitter truth he'd read years ago in her files. He knew Emily's history, every sick page of it, a glimpse into the past that had shaped the woman she'd become.

He would never hurt her, not like the men from before had hurt her. Emily knew that, but he didn't expect her to throw herself into his arms. Nolan wouldn't know what to do with her if she did; what he'd told her in the pool had been true, she was important to him. Too important to risk by pressuring her into anything she didn't want.

 _Was tonight a fluke or does she really want me - and if she does,_ what _does she want from me?_

Nolan splashed cold water over his face to calm the heat she'd stirred in him.

_Damn women. Why can't they be more like men? Hell, even on our worst day we're nowhere near this complicated._

Looking at himself in the mirror, Nolan decided that, as much as he wanted her, Emily would have to choose him. He wasn't another of the monsters that would force her, and he wasn't a man on her hit list to be manipulated; Nolan was different, he had to be different for her.

The man hung up his wet board shorts and changed into a dark pair of lounge pants, his uniform for summer nights. He wanted Emily to come and wrap his arm, but after the way they'd parted he doubted that he would see her until the next day. It was just as well; he wasn't sure he could trust himself if she were to get into bed with him just then.

He turned down the bed and went to sleep.

______________________________

Hours later, in the darkness, Emily stood at the foot of Nolan's bed and watched him sleep. It was wrong to do this, she knew. It was bizarre, not to mention she'd scare the life out of him if he were to wake up and find her there.

_Just a year ago, I was glad to know you were afraid of me. Look at us now._

Emily had kissed him again, this time different than the first. That night, naked in the water, she had kissed him in gratitude for his forgiveness for her past cruelty. He'd let her kiss him, he hadn't moved to touch her or tried following her to her room, though she knew a lesser man would have taken every opportunity had they only been there in his place.

Tonight had been different.

Emily had kissed him for the heat that rose in her when they shared time in his room, the man allowing her the freedom to explore him with her eyes even as she tended to his wound with careful hands. It had been stirring in her mind for long enough, this curiosity of Nolan on an intimate level, of how he might kiss her, hold her, if he was...

She had not wanted the statue he'd been during that first kiss, she'd wanted the true man and Nolan had shown her. His hands had lifted to her, gentle on her waist and even gentler on her face. He'd molded his lips to meet hers, letting her taste him, tasting her heat in kind.

He had responded to her, and that reality had startled her from the spell of her own heated impulse. Nolan was a man, his reaction had made it clear he wanted her, just as she'd accused him.

Emily knew she shouldn't have baited him with the kiss. It was wrong to toy with him in such a way, and she wouldn't use their drinks from earlier in the evening as an excuse. Simply, she'd wanted to kiss him, and so she'd done so. She had not thought beyond that selfish urge, and here was the result.

Nolan wasn't angry with her for retreating from him, he only wanted to understand _why._

Why?

Emily wasn't sure she could explain it to him, that if they were to take this step together, that he would be her first true relationship. The men she'd known before were meaningless, and her every day with Daniel had been a lie. Emily had changed since the fire, she could feel it, and it was all because of Nolan. He'd warned her to let go of the past and to try enjoying her present with him.

She wanted to, Nolan had given her that power - "you're safe with me, whatever you decide" - to keep him as her closest friend or to take their connection deeper, and not only would he respect her choice, he would embrace it.

Was there an end to his generosity? Emily had not seen it yet.

She wanted to sleep beside him again as she had the night before, by his invitation. That had been a surprise in itself, for him to ask such a thing of her. He had not pled for her company and he had not demanded that she stay. He'd only wanted her there with him, and she had remained.

Nolan had not touched her outside of rolling against her in his sleep, which hadn't bothered her in the least. He'd kept her warm, while she, apparently, had kept him from being lonely for a night.

Both she and Nolan knew something about loneliness. It had been their curse and their armor for years, yet another connection they had found in each other.

But Nolan had not invited her into his bed again, and Emily had overstepped her bounds with him enough for one night. The woman left him to sleep, heading downstairs to the guest room.

______________________________

The next few days were spent carefully avoiding the change that had occurred between them. They cooked, they walked the shore, they bantered, they shopped, they drank and they gamed. The unanswered question hung heavy in the air, but how to broach the subject was lost on them both.

Nolan salved and wrapped his burn on his own in the evenings, while Emily swam by herself at midday. He would watch her, sometimes from the window, sometimes from a security monitor, but he always kept a close eye.

For all his genius, Nolan had had few genuine relationships - he had given Emily the choice of where they would go moving forward, because he wanted her, but because he wanted her to choose him even more.

To be _chosen_ , that would be a first for him.

To be chosen as a man, rather than a rich mark by some conniving opportunist.

Still, if Emily chose instead to keep him as her friend, he would be content with that - anything else would be a blessing on top of the blessing of Emily as his warm companion.

He squinted at the receding sunset and swept wet sand about the low fire he intended to start on the shore.

_Safety first._

"What're you doing?"

Nolan looked up to see Emily coming in for a closer look, beach-chic in a striped tank top and denim shorts, her bare feet at ease in the hot sand. He smiled to her, "Tonight's a clam bake night."

She raised her brows. "After what happened last year?"

"Never too late for a second chance," he shrugged. "Are you hungry yet?"

It was early in the evening, but he was eager to start.

Emily knelt beside him before the fire mound he'd built and nudged him in the ribs. "If it's your cooking, then I'm starved."

"That's what I thought. I'm going to run inside and grab some more things and I'll leave starting the fire to you since that's kind of your area of expertise." He chided as he handed her a lighter.

"Thanks, Nolan."

Emily watched him retreat to the house for all they would need, her emotions moving between affection, arousal and trepidation every time the man was near. She thought it likely he felt the same when she came in close to him, but Nolan did not show it. He might claim to have learned how to be cunning from her, but Emily knew the truth: Nolan was every bit as shrewd as she was, and if it came down to it, he could be even more ruthless.

They were a match, but above all Emily feared losing him in taking the risk of going deeper than what they had always been to each other.

The woman sighed and started to work on the fire.

A short time later found them sitting on a blanket spread over the sand, enjoying their nighttime picnic. The low fire was a counterpoint to the waves at their back, adding light and golden warmth to their faces.

Nolan set his empty plate aside and poured Emily a bit more wine, his hope being that they would finish off the bottle that night. He poured more for himself, feeding this idea she had that he was a lush. Really, he was more of a social drinker but given recent events, he'd felt entitled to a few more drinks than what was usual for him.

"Thank you." She said, taking a sip.

"My pleasure."

"I don't think I'll be able to top this dinner," Emily remarked, turning her eyes to him. "A night picnic on the beach. Did you bring marshmallows for the fire?"

He shook his head, "Afraid not. Are you still hungry?"

"No, I'm all right. It was delicious, Nolan, but something tells me you already knew that."

"I do aim to please."

Nolan watched as Emily sipped the last of her wine before moving to lay back on the blanket, one hand resting lightly just below the rise of her breasts, the other tracing circles over her lower stomach.

Her movements were innocent, yet Nolan couldn't tear his eyes away.

"Where do you think we'll be a year from now?" She asked, breaking into his wandering thoughts.

Nolan blinked, sending away the image of a naked Emily in his bed, drifting her fingertips over her own flesh. "In another year? I'm not sure. There's no reason for you to live in the Hamptons anymore, have you thought about going somewhere else, somewhere that you could start over again?"

Emily turned her eyes away from the stars above to look at him. "I've imagined how things would be after I was done with the Graysons, I have identities to use in building a new life...but I don't want to become a new person yet. I'd like to stay as Emily Thorne for a little longer."

Nolan nodded, "Keep the name, you've earned it."

"What about you?"

"What about me? You're the chameleon, I'm just the tech guy. You can be a hundred different women, but Nolan Ross I am and Nolan Ross I shall remain." He spread his arms, glorifying himself. "I just hope we'll be happy, wherever we end up."

"Together?"

"I hope so." Nolan gave her a small smile. "Maybe I'm selfish, but I'm not ready to give you up just yet."

Emily returned his smile and moved across the blanket, closer, until she could lean against him, and his long arm curled over her shoulders. Before the fire she had never encouraged him to touch her, yet now it was she who was initiating contact with him.

If this was the result of one mad day, what changes would a full year bring?

______________________________

Days later, Nolan reached the bottom of the stairs and called out for her, "Emily?"

"In here," she called back to him from the guest room.

Nolan stepped in and found her laying on her stomach, leafing through a magazine. "Do you feel like going out anytime soon?"

"Define going out."

The man sat beside her on the edge of the bed and glanced over her shoulder at what she was reading, the latest issue of Elle. "Well, how does dinner, dancing and champagne sound?"

Emily rolled onto her back so that she could meet his eyes. "Are you taking me to a ball?"

Feeling brave, Nolan reached forward and rested his hand over her flat stomach, stroking her lightly as if she was his favored pet. Beneath the fabric of her shirt, Emily's skin grew warm at his touch. "As much as I'd like to…nope. It's Nolcorp – we're throwing together a little celebratory shindig."

Emily rose onto her elbows, realization in her eyes. "So that was your big secret. And Nolcorp is celebrating what, exactly?"

Nolan removed his hand from her as she moved to sit up fully.

"The end to a kick-ass fiscal year and Nolcorp's binding commitment to the country's financial recovery by keeping the manufacturing and assembly jobs here in the good ol' US of A – you should know this, you're on the memo list." He reminded her pointedly.

Emily rolled her eyes. "Save the lecture, Nolcorp is your baby."

"And it's been your piggybank, don't you think after ten years you ought to learn a little about it?" Nolan prodded her.

Emily dropped back down onto the bed. "Is that absolutely necessary? I'm better at ruining businesses than anything else."

"You only say that now because you haven't tried, and there's no time like the present. It should be a fun party, you know, champagne, dancing, the whole deal. Plus, no Graysons will be on the guest list, a drama-free night if you can believe it. I want you as my plus-one."

"That's tempting," she admitted.

Nolan handed her a Visa. "Here is my card. Go shopping. You pick out a party dress today and I'll pick you up tomorrow night at 8."

Emily took his card and then his keys, determined to impress the man.

______________________________

After she'd gone, Nolan busied himself by reviewing several developments in the mounting charges against Victoria and Conrad, furthering the guarantee that they would remain imprisoned for the rest of their lives.

He shared Emily's pleasure in seeing them exposed, humiliated and sentenced for their crimes. It fit, let them suffer, alone and hated by the world as David had suffered and died thanks to their manipulations.

_Ping-ping._

Nolan tucked the phone to his ear, smiling. "Whatcha need, Ems?"

"I'm torn between two dresses. It's your night, Nolan. Should I get the red or the blue?"

"Blue," he bit out. "Definitely blue."

Nolan hadn't even thought of it, but if he saw her in another red dress, he would rip the color off her and burn it. Red had been Emily's color with Daniel, at their Fire & Ice engagement party of course, but Nolan better remembered her in red during the Fourth of July party - the night he had faced down the barrel of Frank's gun.

_No more red dresses._

On the other line, unaware of Nolan's reasoning behind his choice of color, Emily smiled. "All right, blue it is. I'll be back soon."

______________________________

The night of the party, Nolan smoothed his hand over an imagined crease in his suit jacket and looked himself over in the mirrored doors of his closet. He didn't often attend Nolcorp functions, preferring instead to conduct his business from home – he liked to maintain the illusion of indifference, but the reality was that he was more involved with Nolcorp than even the board of directors knew.

He hadn't spent years establishing the company just to turn around and ignore it, after all.

He straightened his tie and looked himself over again, tempted to add a bright pocket square or a silk flower to his lapel just for the hell of it – the suit was onyx black Armani, the shirt beneath it a fine French blue to bring out his eyes. The tie was a muted silver, as was his watch, transferred now to his right wrist as his left was still healing.

_Speaking of which…_

Nolan slipped on a thin black glove and sighed, knowing that the others attending would be curious. Still, he'd rather make up some excuse for wearing one glove than explain over and over again how the back of his hand had come up charred extra crispy.

He glanced up to see Emily in the doorway. He smiled and struck a pose at her. "How do I look?"

Emily came forward and looked him over. Wearing a suit rather than his usual bright clothes, with his hair combed back off his face, he looked different, older, much more mature. "You're a captain of industry, Nolan."

"Thanks babe."

"Now what about me?" Emily asked, swatting him playfully on the shoulder.

Nolan gave her a quick glance and shrugged. "You look all right."

"Just all right?"

"Daniel was the poet, not me. But, all right, let me try again." He looked her over once more, taking his time. She had chosen well in her dress, a royal blue slip of silk, its thin straps crossing over her back. His eyes lingered for a moment too long on the line of her neck, exposed by her upswept hair. Nolan cleared his throat, shaking off the rise of heat in his chest and thought of something to say.

"Emily, I might have to rescind your invitation for tonight – no one is going to listen to my speech with you stealing the spotlight."

Emily smiled at him, "That's more like it."

"Just occurred to me, this'll be your first public outing post-revenge. Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be, yes."

Nolan offered his arm to her, and Emily looped her hand through it. "Then let's go."

______________________________

Throughout his years of building the business, Nolan had had to give his fair share of speeches, both to board members and to consumers, not to mention the countless interviews he'd given over the past decade - some of them ending better than others.

He didn't mind, he had mastered his stage fright early into the development of Nolcorp, when he realized that he was the only one qualified to discuss his tech. Not that his engineers weren't brilliant, but Nolan was more personable by comparison, though that wasn't saying much.

The celebration was an elegant party complete with a large dance floor, ice sculptures, live music, sweeping icicle lights and mountains of food. Champagne flooded through him, his favorite year, as he went over his speech in his head.

"You're not nervous?" Emily asked, always at his side.

They had come to the party and cut a striking pair, Emily as glamorous as she'd ever been in her royal blue dress and with Nolan surprising everyone by dressing the part of the man who had changed the face of American technology.

"Not really. I keep the speeches short and sweet for a reason. Come on, lots of creepy old men for you to meet," he joked as he lead her toward a handful of Nolcorp's board of directors.

The men and women were certainly older, but warm as Nolan greeted them and introduced Emily as his date. They chatted for a bit, party small-talk, sipping champagne and munching puffed hor's devores.

A planner, a near clone of Ashley as she was smashingly dressed, clearly stressed and clutching a tablet like a lifeline, approached Nolan as the top of the hour neared. "Mr. Ross, it's almost time. If you'll follow me, please."

He nodded and turned to Emily, murmuring in her ear, "Time for me to face the mob. Be back in a few."

Emily raised her brows in surprise as she felt his lips brush her temple. Watching him follow the planner and rise to the podium that had been assembled, she smiled and clapped her hands along with the rest of the people in attendance.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I would thank you all for coming tonight but when there's free food and liquor involved, you should be thanking _me."_

Emily and the people around her shared a laugh at that, and when he met her eyes she tipped her champagne flute to him.

"He's on his game tonight," Marcus remarked to her. Marcus Tate was one of the board members Nolan had first introduced her to, nearing fifty, his brown hair graying at the sides. "Did you have anything to do with that?"

Emily smiled, embarrassed to feel her cheeks heating at his harmless question. "No, it's all him. He only told me about the party a few days ago, I didn't even know he was going to make a speech until tonight."

"Have you been seeing each other long?"

The older man was simply curious, but Emily could sense him searching her face for a hint of deception, of anything that might suggest she would hurt his friend by manipulation or disloyalty.

_If only he knew._

"He and I have been friends for a very long time. This is still so new."

Marcus laughed at that. "Kids today!"

Emily playfully nudged the man's shoulder. "Nolan isn't a _kid_ , Mr. Tate."

He nodded at that, "Not in years he's not, but you know how all men are boys - we just grow older and get better toys."

"No kidding," Emily agreed. "His house is wired with all kinds of gadgets."

"They all have their uses," Nolan declared as he returned to them amid the applause of all the guests.

"That was quick."

He shrugged, eyes wandering the crowd. "I told you...I...like to wrap things up as quickly and cleanly as possible..."

"I'd say you succeeded, Nolan." Marcus congratulated him.

"Thank you, Mark, I...hey, Emily, let me get a drink for you."

Nolan disappeared into the crowd before either of them could stop him. Emily wasn't sure what caught his attention, especially as she was holding a full flute of champagne, but Marcus had asked her a question, distracting her from Nolan's mysterious antics.

______________________________

Nolan stifled the growl that built in his throat at the sight of a familiar head of black hair. He knew what the man was doing here, and he knew where he was headed. Eyes darting to her, Nolan saw that Emily had not yet seen the party crasher, she was still speaking with Marcus, now joined by his husband, and was thankfully distracted.

So, it was back to his first duty as a friend.

The man wouldn't let a Grayson ruin anything else for her.

Daniel's eyes scanned the crowd until he saw her, laughing with a couple of older men near the buffet table. He started toward her but, emerging from the crowd to block his way, came Nolan with a scowl on his face and his arms crossed over his chest. "What're you doing here, Daniel? I didn't approve your name for the guest list."

Daniel moved to step around him, "A friend called to tell me she was here."

Nolan was quick to step toward Daniel, blocking him from finding her. "News travels fast, but your friend should've informed you that the lady's traded up."

"What, she's with you now?" He rolled his eyes, clearly disbelieving.

Nolan went on with the daring implication, sure that Emily would kill him if she found out but defiant beyond caring at this point.

"Yes."

Daniel's expression faltered for a moment, revealing a flash of shock and hurt.

Nolan didn't feel sorry for him, the man hadn't been invited and it was clear he just wanted to cause trouble. The Graysons were nothing but trouble from their first day to their last.

"Mom said she was just after money, I see she was right all along." Daniel sneered. "But I want to talk to her anyway. Emily owes me that."

Nolan stepped in close, his voice low. "After what your family has done to her…she doesn't owe you anything."

"Get out of my way, Nolan."

"No."

Daniel smiled at him, but his posture was tensing for violence. "Your little tough-guy act is cute, I bet she loves it, but you know you can't beat me in a fight."

To his credit, Nolan wasn't fazed despite being only seconds away from a black eye.

"No. Not in a fair fight I can't, but we didn't get to where we are today by fighting _fair."_

It took Daniel a moment to understand what Nolan meant, but in an instant, the shadow was there, gripping Daniel in such a way that anyone watching would only see the three men standing in close confidence. Nothing out of the ordinary, given that the party was an official Nolcorp event, but the serious expressions of the three men were enough to discourage anyone from interrupting.

Nolan grinned as the shadow clutched Daniel, bracing his arm and making it clear that any insult Daniel wanted to throw out at Nolan would cost him his ulna. Now _that_ would be fair: a Grayson had burned Nolan's forearm, and so Nolan should be allowed to break his.

But the man had a bit of conscience left.

Daniel would get shoved around a bit but the brat would walk away. Maybe with a limp and a new blotch on his police record, but he would walk away.

Nolan tipped his glass toward a furious Daniel and then spoke to the shadow, "He's a Grayson. Don't be too gentle."

______________________________

The man played his part, shaking hands, posing for pictures and delivering charming quotes and sound bites to the various journalists he'd invited to the party.

As the band played on and the champagne flowed, Nolan stepped back, just off to the perimeter of the crowd. He didn't need Emily for this; he had learned early on how to be inconspicuous even while dealing with shadows.

"Is it done?"

Just at his side, and a few steps behind him, the shadow, his hired gun, nodded. "Yes sir. We left him on the boardwalk of pier 9."

Nolan nodded, his eyes on Emily as Marcus twirled her on the dance floor. "Alive?"

"Yes sir."

"And you called the police with the cover story?"

"As instructed, sir."

Nolan sipped his champagne and looked into the flute, watching the bubbles rise and pop. "That'll make a great headline tomorrow, young Grayson caught with his pants down and reeking of...what did you use?"

"Whiskey."

Nolan raised his brows, "Nice touch, he had a problem with that last year."

"We know. It was in the file you provided."

"I like to plan ahead."

The shadow quirked his lips but he did not smile. In the few personal exchanges he'd had with Mr. Ross, he'd found the man to be funny in an offbeat way, though to Nolan's chagrin the man never laughed at his jokes. The shadow believed smiling on the job to be unprofessional.

"There were several calls from several locations reporting the target as being drunk and belligerent. After his troubles in the last few years, he could face jail time for tonight's offense."

Nolan shook his head. "No he won't, and you know it. He'll buy his way out of trouble just like he always has."

"Then why did you have us-?"

"Public perception is everything to that family. With mommy and daddy in jail, it looks like young Danny has no one but the bottle, and it'll only be a matter of time before he goes off the rails completely. Now he knows."

"Knows what, sir?"

"How it feels to be alone."

If the shadow was in any way bothered by Nolan's cold hate of the mark, he did not show it. Again, he was a professional. It wouldn't be the first time he'd been the right hand of one man striking out against another over money or a woman or some old grudge match. Sometimes all three were involved, but he wasn't paid to ask questions or give his opinion.

If Nolan Ross wanted Daniel Grayson roughed up, framed and ultimately humiliated, and if Nolan Ross was offering five times the going rate to him and his team, then the shadow was more than just an employee - he would be the loyal dog, vicious when the occasion called for it, and totally obedient.

The shadow touched his ear, listening to new information from his contact watching the pier. "I'd say the operation was successful then, sir. Grayson is being taken into custody as we speak. There are photographers there as well."

"Good, he'll be all over the news in the next hour. How'd you leave his face?" He asked.

"Mostly intact. I hit him once to knock him out when he started going on about you and Miss Thorne."

"Thank you for that. It'll look like he got into a fight while he was drunk, but it only took one hit to knock him out? He's just like his mother." Nolan laughed, a cold, shallow sound.

The shadow reminded him, "You said not to hurt him more than necessary."

"Yeah, but that wasn't for me, that was more for Emily. I'm second-guessing that decision, but it's too late now." Nolan said, half-serious.

The shadow inclined his head. "If he's smart, he'll stay away."

"Then I'm sure I'll be seeing him again soon." Nolan remarked. He watched Marcus lead Emily back to the table for more champagne. "I just couldn't let him ruin tonight."

"For Nolcorp?"

"Nolcorp doesn't need parties. No, I couldn't let Grayson ruin tonight for her." Nolan gestured to Emily. "Look how happy she is."

The shadow surprised himself when he said, "She'd look happier if you asked her to dance."

"Not for long, I'd only end up stepping on her feet." Nolan laughed, "Thank you for your help tonight."

"My pleasure, sir. I'll be here when you need me."

"Good to know. Grab yourself some champagne and some snacks. It's a party, go have some fun."

______________________________

Emily had been quiet during the ride back to his house, her mind seeming to be far away for whatever reason. Maybe she was just tired.

"You have a good time?" He asked as he steered around a turn on the long road home.

Beside him, Emily nodded as she began to pull the pins from her hair, releasing it from the undo she'd worn for the party. "I did, it was a great party, Nolan. You should be really proud."

He glanced over to see her shake out her hair, the waves falling out over her shoulders.

"I'm proud of almost everything that went on tonight," Nolan told her, and he was telling her the truth. He wasn't proud of what he'd done to Daniel, no, he was not. That strike against Grayson had been necessary. Nolan did not often flex his instinct for being cutthroat, but when he did it was not for nothing.

"Only almost everything?"

"Every party has its unexpected turns, but I think we handled it pretty well."

"I'd say so."

Nolan pulled into the garage and they both got out of the car and headed inside. Glancing down, he saw that Emily had already slipped off her heels and padded toward the guest room barefoot.

He was only a little tired, a restlessness threading its way through him. He didn't want to say goodnight just yet, but Emily had already stepped into the guest room.

Nolan stood outside her closed door for a moment before moving on, heading upstairs.

______________________________

Nolan shrugged out of his black jacket, easing it onto a hanger and returning it to his closet. The silver tie was next, that he simply loosened and hung on the bathroom doorknob.

He stripped off his glove, careful of the healing burn and then began to unbutton his shirt. He hadn't expected Daniel to crash the party, but he was glad to have stopped him before he got to Emily and ruined her night.

She'd had fun, that he was sure of. She'd eaten handfuls of tasty hors'devores and drank several glasses of champagne. She'd even taken a few turns on the dance floor with Nolan's senior directors, Marcus, Walter and Michael. She'd been his golden belle of the ball, she'd earned her fun.

Emily hadn't danced with him, but Nolan didn't regret that. He had no rhythm and two left feet, so the ultimate prize was in knowing that Emily's smiles that night had been genuine. She'd let out her inner party animal for a few hours without a thought toward anything devious…there might be hope for that girl yet.

Nolan removed his shirt and looked at himself in the mirror. He did not look anywhere near his age and he sure as all hell didn't feel 40 yet, but perhaps the time had come that he start dressing with a bit more sophistication…at least on the occasions when he went into the office, anyway.

Emily had been impressed when she saw him dressed for success. What had she called him? A Captain of Industry…not a bad title, really, and he was vain enough to admit he looked good in a suit.

But he had no plans to wear the suit again anytime soon. No, tomorrow he would be back to being unapologetically himself in a pair of chinos or board shorts and a bright polo. It was summer, after all, what else would he wear?

Nolan slipped out of his suit slacks and into a pair of lounge pants, only a little tired. He thought that he might read before going to sleep, or watch some television. He'd no sooner turned down the covers and clicked off the lamp than he'd turned around to find Emily directly behind him. She was quick as a cat, and just as silent.

He took a step back, startled. "Emily, what are you-?"

The woman leaned in, "Shh, Nolan, just…"

And then it happened. Without her high heels, Emily rose on her feet and pressed her lips to his. They stood that way, suspended for a moment before Nolan responded to her kiss, understanding and accepting her now, he reached for her, molding his lips against hers.

Emily's risk had gained her this reward as questions and hesitance fell away and there was only sensation, trust and gaining pleasure. Her skin was soft beneath his hands, and so warm as he moved them up her arms to cup her shoulders and then her face.

The kiss ended then, and the two simply stood, holding each other, two children afraid of the future. Emily had approached him differently this time. This wasn't a swift kiss in the water; Emily had come to him, catching him off-guard in his bedroom. This had not been by accident, Emily was ever the hunter.

Now, there was no vengeance to consume her. Now, her life was her own.

Words, it seemed, had failed them both.

But Nolan was in no mood for words. He dipped his head and kissed her again.

Emily might've pulled away from him, but Nolan's hands on her waist were firm, one on the dip of her waist, the other had moved to her back, beginning the slow slide to cup the back of her head. He pulled her to him, held her there firmly. He possessed more strength than she'd expected, but the man had proven himself a vault of secrets.

He lifted her, gripping her legs to straddle over his own. He sank down onto the bed, bringing her with him. His lips found hers in the near dark, his hands spanning her waist. Emily boldly palmed him through the material of his pants, thrilled to feel him stir to her touch.

Clever fingertips found the zip at her back and she felt his hand rest at the base of her naked spine before he bunched the skirt and pulled the dress over her head, revealing the whole of her to his eyes.

It was upon them, the moment of joining. Nolan groaned as Emily freed him, impaling herself, slowly sinking him into her body. Fully sheathed within, Emily began to move, rolling her hips as his hands anchored her to him, their connection complete.

They gasped against each other in the near dark.

Emily saw it then, a change that came over his eyes as civilization fell away to reveal the hidden animal beneath. His expression became intense, almost cruel as he lifted to kiss her hard, a hand snaking up her back and into her hair. Long fingers coiled into the bright strands and Emily gasped as he jerked her head back, exposing her throat to the graze of his teeth, the soft suction of his lips.

She bucked harder against him, tightening, devouring each other in starved kisses. His fingertips teased her breasts, soon joined by lips and gentle teeth. Large hands grasped her hips, working her against his manhood in a fierce rhythm, hard and fast and riding the edge of pain. This was the way he wanted it tonight, a far cry from the fumblings she'd imagined of her friend, the overgrown Peter Pan of Southampton.

This was not what she'd expected, this was not the Nolan she'd assumed him to be.

It scared her.

Emily moved against him, clutching at his shoulders, riding him. Heat rose over her, tightening her body around him, and she loved it.

They clashed together, writhing, racing each other to the peak. He watched her eyes and saw her surprise, her excitement. He smiled at her, challenging and playful, still the man he'd always been.

With a twist of his hips and a well-placed fingertip at her sex, Nolan disarmed her.

Arms and legs clasped over him as she shuddered atop him, the quick cry of a woman jumped from her throat, her thighs suddenly moist with their shared release. The man rocked her in his embrace, drawing it out, holding her to him as all strength flowed away. Emily leaned her forehead into the crook of his neck, shocked and sated.

Soon, their breathing slowed from hard panting and became even. Nolan shifted her atop him, removing himself from her body but keeping her straddled over his lap. He stroked her undone yellow hair, his hands even gentler than they'd been only moments before. Emily lifted her head to look at him, but whatever words she might have said had vanished from her mind, leaving them just looking at each other in confused affection.

Nolan leaned forward, brushing his lips against her temple, then another to her cheek, and one more to the pulse in her neck as Emily leaned into him, spearing her fingers into his hair, loving the feel of it in her hands.

The man moved back on the bed, bringing her with him to lay down at his side.

Silence hung between them, heavy with his unspoken _What the hell just happened?_

But that could wait. Emily risked a glance to him to see that Nolan was already ebbing away into sleep and she almost laughed. _So, he's really not that different from other men._

She rose from the bed and slipped into the bathroom, making use of a washcloth. She thought of returning to the guestroom downstairs but she knew Nolan – he would be insulted to find her gone from his bed in the morning, but she had no true want to sleep alone after what they had done. So, she returned to him, and Emily smiled to herself as she felt Nolan's arm come over her.


	16. Chapter 16

Hours made the slow turn through the world, though the night seemed to draw a longer life as summer storms descended on the Hamptons. Quiet thunder rumbled over the ocean, broken by the occasional streak of blue lightening.

The rain had not yet come, but the air was damp and the wind was picking up, already the trees outside we're waving as the breeze gained strength.

It wasn't a dream that woke Nolan, or the distant thunder or the chiming of his phone. He woke slowly as his mind pulled from sleep, bringing with it memories from the night before. Emily in his arms, atop him, her lips against his, his hands on her...

Nolan smiled, drowsy and satisfied from the night, his long arm stretching in the bed, seeking her. A frown formed as his thoughts grew sharp, and Nolan opened his eyes.

"Emily?"

He sat up, letting the blanket fall to his naked lap. Emily was not there, sleeping beside him as he'd hoped to find her. She was not there...she was not there...

Nolan stood from the bed and pulled on his lounge pants, discarded on the floor from when Emily had approached him. After checking the shower for the woman and finding it empty, he strode from the bedroom they'd shared and moved out to the main of the house.

Eyes scanning and ears careful, Nolan searched for her, his expression refusing to betray the mounting alarm he felt rising within him.

_Where the hell is she?_

Emily was not in the kitchen, the study, the downstairs bathroom, his office, the living room, the guest room, the garage or out in the backyard.

Nolan stood outside near the edge of the pool, scowling, eyes taking in the storm moving in from the water. He remembered the last time Emily had disappeared out from under him. It had been years ago, the memory of her leaving still stung his thoughts on occasion - one day she had been there, angry, resentful and plainly foul to him, and then she had been gone until that Memorial Day on the yacht.

But that had been a different Emily, she'd been a girl who wanted nothing to do with him, she'd run away to reinvent herself with the deadset thought to ruin the Graysons.

She was not that angry girl any more, she was a woman who had teamed with him to accomplish her goal, last night being a celebration for them both...or so he'd thought.

Nolan had an idea of why she'd left, and while he knew that she would come back, it still hurt that Emily had this need to keep him at arm's length, even after everything they'd been through in the last year.

_More time, she just needs more time..._

And while Emily took time to herself, Nolan was left by himself to wait for her to come back. A light drizzle began to fall, wetting his bare chest and back. "That's just great," he muttered to no one.

He shook off his hurt feelings and went back inside, intent to start his day, with or without her.

_____________________________

Hours before Nolan was stirred from sleep, Emily had looked at the man who had become her first lover. She was no virgin, of course, but sex for her had only ever been one of two things throughout her life: it was either a form of abuse inflicted upon her or a form of manipulation she used to gain what she wanted. There had been no middle ground, and certainly nothing to elevate the act in her eyes.

As Emily had come of age in a corrupt institution, her first several experiences as a girl had been unwanted, all at the hands of an overeager guard and then years later by her foster father – when she'd found the courage to finally fight back, Emily had quickly found herself transferred to an upstate juvenile detention center. The influence of the Graysons had never been far from her. It was there that she learned to use sex as yet another means to an end.

After she'd been released into the world, there had been several one-night stands. The angry, drunken thrusts were enough to take her mind off the tailspin her life had become. But then came the truth, her grand scheme to avenge her past and along with it, everything she'd shared with Daniel.

But Nolan.

There had been no motive in what happened between them – no motive save the pleasure. And he had pleased her; despite all her vague assumptions about him over the years, Nolan had proven himself a man. He'd given her what her body craved and taken his pleasure in her as well. The man was vastly different behind closed doors.

It had been a foolish thing, but as he slept, Emily had put her forearm beside his to compare their colors; the skin of Nolan's uninjured arm was a few shades darker than her own, but of course he spent a fair bit of his free time outside on the deck, sunning like a snake.

Emily had pressed her back more firmly against him, and smiled once more as she felt him kiss her neck before they both settled back to sleep.

Now, hours later, Emily found herself alone on the stormy shores.

It had not been her intent to leave Nolan alone in the bed, but something inside of her had urged her away from him, to escape from his questions and his tender eyes to the safety of solitude. She'd removed herself from the warmth of his arms, leaving him to sleep.

Emily had put on her sneakers, hoping a run might ease the dread that had risen within her, but the soreness between her thighs had put the thought from her mind. Nolan had not meant to hurt her the night before, but he had been...vigorous, and she'd loved every minute of it.

She had not run the shore, choosing instead to walk, lost in her own thoughts. Memories of Nolan swarmed over her, his lips and teeth grazing over her neck and breasts, his hands on her thighs, and those eyes...his eyes that had looked at her in affection, offering everything that was real.

The woman brought herself out of those thoughts, sure that Nolan had woken up and found her gone from his bed and house by then. Emily would return to him, and already her body anticipated his touch again, but anything else seemed to her, impossible.

_He can't ask that from me...I can't give that to him, not again..._

Emily had been walking with her eyes on the ground, but she looked up to realize that she had walked all the way to what remained of her beach house.

"Oh, God..."

Even now, weeks after the fire, the ruins still stood. The black, charred skeleton of the beach cottage. A husk of what was once her home. Emily stood, staring at it, then she moved forward for a closer look.

The smell of burnt wood drifted to her on the wind. Emily was careful as she climbed onto the porch, but on hearing the supports groan under her weight she returned to the sand and instead circled to the front of the house.

Most of the roof had collapsed, blocking the front doorway. Emily could not get inside, she would not be able to recover her father's Infiniti box.

_The box was under the stairs...it would just be ashes now..._

Emily sank to her knees, tears overwhelming her eyes.

______________________________

"So the word is you're still bunking up with Nolan." Jack greeted Emily as she took her favored stool at the bar.

Emily had barely made it into the Stowaway before the rain came down, just as she took her seat the sky opened and a shower began. She shrugged to the man. He was kind, and still very much the sweet boy she'd met at her first summer in the Hamptons…but Emily had had to learn the hard way that he wasn't for her.

The woman carried no shame in her connection with Nolan, but she didn't feel the need to broadcast that they had slept together. It was seeing him again that she wanted to put off for as long as possible, for she feared what Nolan would say.

"Yep, we blondies stick together in times of crisis." She said, trying for a joke. "How'd you know I was still there?"

Jack smiled with real humor, she doubted he could ever be anything but honest. He reached forward and touched her hand. "Dec saw you two having dinner at the Bait Bucket a couple weeks ago."

"Oh, yeah. Lobster tails and margaritas." Emily said, recalling the night she'd kissed Nolan for the second time. So much had changed between them since that night, all thanks to her doing. She feared she would regret her impulses when it came to her one true friend.

"So what're you doing out and about in the storm?" Jack asked.

Emily cleared her throat. "I...I hadn't planned on it, but I went for a walk and ended up at the house - or, what's left of it, anyway."

"I'm sorry about your house, Emily. It was a really great place." He was sympathetic to the loss of a home, having experienced it himself nearly a decade ago. He didn't blame Nolan completely, but on a dark, petty level, he did resent the other man's wealth. The rich had a way of running roughshod over the less fortunate without even meaning to, but the result was the same: the Porters had lost their home and in its place, a great glass mansion had been built instead.

Emily nodded and this time she did not pull away from him. "Yeah, it was but…not a lot of great memories in there for me anymore."

Jack nodded, recalling that her engagement to Daniel had ended at that house - a terrible thing for her to have to go through even before the fire. He didn't regret what happened between them and he had hoped she would have come to him after their kiss the night poor Sammy died. Instead, the woman had seemed to go into hiding for most of the winter, only emerging again with the summer.

He felt that she would come to him when she was ready, but he couldn't wait forever.

"I'm sorry. I should've come to visit you again."

Emily shook her head, shrugging, "That's all right. Nolan and I have been able to entertain ourselves." Off his look, she went on to explain, "You know, video games, shopping..."

"Video games and shopping - that sounds likes Nolan, all right. Hey, take a splash on the house." Jack offered, pouring her favorite drink.

"Thanks, Jack."

"So are you just staying with him until you get a new place?" He asked, genuinely curious.

Emily took a sip and thought for a moment. "I'm...not sure yet. Nolan and I, we get along pretty well, so I might just stick around for awhile. Until he gets bored and kicks me out, that is."

Again, he smiled at her joke. "I can't imagine anyone getting bored with you…but then again, Nolan isn't your average guy."

Emily shook her head, "No, he's a little different."

Jack laughed, "No kidding. I can just imagine the two of you sitting around braiding each other's hair all day."

Emily nodded, wondering what Jack would say if she told him just what she and Nolan had got up to the night before. "Yep, that's pretty much all we've been doing, and he does have great hair."

Jack raised an empty glass and tapped it against hers, "To Nolan's hair!"

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Later in the day, after Emily had taken to the shore once again with an umbrella borrowed from Declan, it was Nolan who stepped into the Stowaway. The tall man took Emily's abandoned stool and slapped the bar. "Hiya, Jack."

Jack raised his brows, surprised to see him there. What was it Emily said they did together all day? Video games and shopping?

"Nolan, how's it going?"

Nolan shrugged, glad to see Jack but his underlying tension was riding high. He'd dressed for the day, done a bit of work on an upgrade for his tablet, but in his growing restlessness he decided to go out and look for his wayward friend. So far he'd had no luck in finding her on the shore, in town or at the ruins of her beach house. The Stowaway had been his best guess, and he kicked himself for not having thought to come there first.

"I've been ok. Have you seen Emily?"

Jack rang up a drink order and nodded to him, "Yeah, she was here a little earlier."

"Really? What did she say?"

Jack narrowed his eyes at Nolan's eager demand. "Nothing much, she said she saw what's left of her house. I don't know if she's all that broken up about it, but I guess with her kind of money getting a new place won't be too much of a hassle, huh?"

"She has a place in the city. I like having someone else at the house, though." Nolan confided, now tracing a figure-8 on the bar with his fingertip. "It's nice, having her there. We take turns making dinner."

_Among other things..._

Jack recalled the night he'd come to visit Emily and they had shared the dinner she'd intended for Daniel. "I can imagine she keeps you on your toes."

"You don't know the half of it. We got a little out of sync today." Nolan said. "I'll catch her later."

"She said she was heading back, you might've just missed each other." Jack told him before turning to the cash register to make change.

"Thank you, Jack."

Nolan slipped off the stool and out the door before Jack could say anything in reply.

______________________________

Emily waited as Nolan padded down the stairs, his eyes on hers with each step he took in slow descent from the moment he looked down and saw her there. She remained rooted where she stood in the center of the living room, now unsure of his intent. Anxiety had built in her since fleeing from him that morning, dread at what he would say about the night they had shared, deeper dread now that he would be angry with her for leaving and demand answers.

The man reached the bottom of the stairs and moved toward her, a dark look coming over his face. He looked at Emily, his woman – the friend who had come to him as a lover.

In many things when it came to Emily, he could not help himself.

Icy eyes devoured the sight of her as she stood before him, her eyes meeting his, her expression expectant. She wore a simple black satin camisol and matching satin shorts, her hair a damp blonde tumble over her shoulders. No contrived lingerie hidden under a trench coat like some cheap trick copied from a movie, no cajoling words to manipulate him into her plans. Nolan liked her like this. _This_ was the real woman, stripped of her Hamptons mask and all the illusions that surrounded it. No. He wanted her this way.

Nolan took her hands into his, "We've been through a lot, haven't we?"

Of all the things she expected him to say, this wasn't it.

"This year?"

"This year, yes." He nodded, "But I meant since we first met."

"It's been a decade, Nolan."

"Mmm. Ten years." He pulled her to him, holding her like it was a waltz, their dance a gentle swaying circle. "I've know you longer than anyone."

"I'm sorry I wasn't a better friend to you."

Nolan laughed, full and deep against her hair, "What was last night then? Payback?"

"No." Emily swatted his arm. "Last night was…I want it again, Nolan."

His pulse quickened at her words. "No argument from me, Ems."

He gave a soft kiss to both her cheeks, but softness, gentleness wasn't what she wanted from him. She recoiled from it, she couldn't face it. Emily had to have the Nolan she had glimpsed the night before.

Nolan held her, thrilled to know she wanted him again, but still troubled that she had left that morning. Was that what would happen every time? He had to know if she was all right, if this was something that could last between them or if, it pained him to think, she was using him for some new end.

Even as he held her, even as his control was slipping, he had the strength to say, "Emily, we need to talk about-"

The woman leaned forward and kissed him, stifling his words. Her kiss was his undoing. Her lips were full, and so warm, and he could taste her berry gloss and it was so...

Nolan pulled back to look at her, "Emily, I was-"

"No."

Her hot lips took his again, sweeping away any determination Nolan might have entered the house with. What had he wanted to say? Who knew, who cared? All that mattered was that he had Emily in his arms, in his home, they were safe, they were alone and she wanted him, his hands and mouth on her body again, the oblivion he could give her.

And Nolan?

Nolan was only human, and when a man had a woman make such a demand of him, there were precious few men with the will to resist. He returned her kiss, any idea to simply speak with Emily that night falling out of his head as lust rose to take its place.

Emily gasped and actually laughed as he moved to nuzzle into the crook of her neck, and they held each other, seeking a moment of calm before the pleasure storm.

Nolan's hands slid down her body, cupping her rear and pulling her closer, making her feel the press of his aroused flesh. The man smiled, his intent lending a raw edge to the grin. Emily would not be outdone, the heat rising within made her a bold woman. Her hand moved down his back and to his side, then came forward to cup him through his trousers. Nolan hissed in surprise and lightly bit her earlobe in answer.

Emily thrilled when Nolan pulled her to him and pressed his lips to her, subtle at first but then demanding more, his hands skimming to the skin covered by her camisole top. One palm rested over the curve of her rear while the other hand's fingertips teased the tips of her breasts. Emily pulled at his shirt, freeing it from the waistband of his trousers. The man guided her back toward the sofa until the backs of her knees bumped the edge and Nolan lightly pushed Emily to sit down before him.

She reached for the man, urging him to join her, but he brushed her hands away and moved instead to kneel before her, his wicked hands on her thighs. Fingers hooked into the waistband of her shorts and he dragged them down her legs, his grin an evil thing when he found her bare beneath them.

Emily dug her head into the back of the sofa as she felt Nolan's lips, his tongue, his fingertips play against her flesh. This man was her undoing. Emily Thorne was a creation meant to be calculating, in control and unbreakable.

With Nolan between her thighs, she was none of these things. The man knew this and was glorying in the fact that he was doing what none of her enemies had ever hoped to achieve: break down Emily Thorne, have her at her most vulnerable, tame the beast that life had made of her.

She cried his name and pulled his hair but he was not finished.

Emily jerked, so close to the edge but abruptly Nolan stopped and removed himself from her. He pulled her down to the rug and parted her with a practiced knee, Emily knew what was coming and willed her body to accept his assault.

The man wasted no time, he tilted her hips to his satisfaction and plunged himself into her tight embrace. He came into her, a forceful slam of hips that had her digging her nails into his back, snarling against his mouth, devouring him, taking more of the man into her with each hard pulse of his hips.

When it came over her, Nolan thought she might bite through his lip but he was thankfully spared that pain.

He grunted harshly in his own release, waves of pleasure overtaking him, thrilling him. He nuzzled Emily's neck, showing her true affection. He withdrew himself from her and took his weight from her body, propping himself on his elbows to look down at her. He kissed her, knowing he'd pleased her, hoping she would embrace him, hoping she would...

Nolan saw her look away, trying to distance herself. _What is she...? No!_

"No, Emily, no, you look at me." His words were harsher than he'd meant them to be as he took hold of her chin and turned her to face him.

Nolan gained control of himself, feeling drained, the pleasure he'd just felt now ringing empty inside him as he sat up and Emily did the same, drawing her knees up to her chest.

Realization was cutting through the pleasure she'd brought him, the pure physical release meant to act as a distraction from what was happening right before his eyes. She had taken him into her body as a way to protect herself from taking him - or anyone - into her heart.

He knew this, he could see it as it was happening, but for all his genius the man was not beyond being hurt by this. Emily had been his closest friend for over a year, he cared deeply, but for her to use him in this way...

"What the hell was that, Emily?" Nolan demanded, angry eyes searching hers.

"What do you mean?"

He scowled at her, "Don't play dumb. You know exactly what I mean. You might've been in the room, but you weren't with me tonight."

Emily looked away from him, trying to shut out the truth. "Nolan, please..."

He reached to touch her shoulder, almost afraid to do so even after what they had just shared. "Emily, you can tell me why, just talk to me."

"I can't!" She snapped as she pulled away from his tender hand.

"You opened the door to this. You owe me the truth."

"Nolan, I cant. Just stop."

The man closed his eyes, a bitter realization settling over him. "So even after everything, you still don't trust me."

Emily sat before him, silent, her eyes as sad as he'd ever seen them.

"I deserve more than this from you, Emily."

He kissed her lips then, and pressed his forehead against hers for a moment, silently urging her to trust him, to confide deeper in him.

But he would not beg for what she refused to give.

He tore himself from her, standing and retreating to his bedroom.

Nolan left her on the floor, thinking on his words.


	17. Chapter 17

Emily watched as Nolan turned away from her, shamelessly mussed from what they had shared on the floor. Perhaps _shared_ was not the word, for Emily had held herself back from the man, she had pulled away when he reached for her, averted her eyes from his searching stare.

He had given her everything of himself and Emily couldn't even look at him.

Nolan reached the top of the stairs and slammed his bedroom door, shutting her out just as sure as she had barred him from her in any meaningful way.

_Why do I keep doing this? What's wrong with me, why can't I...?_

Emily shivered like a starved animal, naked on the rug where he had left her. Nolan had been upset with her before, but this was different. This wasn't the two of them locking horns over a scheme, the man had tried to share something deeper with her than their release and she had turned from him.

Their first night, after the party, Emily had found herself happy, impulsive and still riding the thrill of Nolan's command of the night. She'd wanted him, as she knew he'd wanted her since the ardent kiss he'd given her in the pool.

Since Nolan had convinced her to let go of her revenge and the iron control she'd kept over her life, Emily had found herself acting on impulse, laughing with a child's joy over pieces of random silliness and having real fun.

She could not hide from Nolan as she had so easily with Daniel. Nolan wanted her, he cared for her and he accepted her, and the simple truth of their connection terrified her.

The woman swiped tears from her cheeks, quickly replaced her camisole and shorts, then slipped into the guest room and laid down atop the covers. Her body still hummed, heated from Nolan's touch, missing his hands, hungry for his weight atop her again.

But Nolan was not content to be her convenient lover, and there would be no going back to their life as it had been before she'd approached him in his room.

_I want to go forward!_

But to do so, Emily knew she would have to discuss things with Nolan that she never wanted to speak of...but her past still had the power to ruin her future if she let it.

_____________________________

Emily did not come to him that night, though Nolan could hear it when she'd turned the downstairs shower on full blast. Twenty-five minutes later, he watched through the electric eye of the surveillance tablet as she emerged from a cloud of steam, a towel around her body and another towel twisted atop her head, and she slipped into the guest room.

Nolan considered watching her dress through the camera in her ceiling, but he was no pervert, and really, why would he pull a Peeping Tom after just having her on the living room floor?

He set the tablet aside, restless.

Emily had intriqued him since he'd first met her, that angry girl released back into the world. It was unfair, how her life had been shaped by the manipulations of the Grayson family. And, he knew, it was unfair of him to assume that Emily could let the armor she'd built over decades fall away after two unguarded nights with him.

Still, Nolan was no one's toy, to be set aside and then taken up again whenever she wanted him. Perhaps he'd spoiled her over the past year with his skills and his immediate availability, but he couldn't have let her do the grand task alone.

Nolan had needed her to need him all that time, and he refused to settle for the crumbs of affection she could give. What he'd told her that night had been true: he deserved more.

______________________________

Emily was gone when he woke up the next morning. Was Nolan surprised? No. She had a habit of disappearing only to spring up again later, much like a stray, born to wander.

Nolan had had an empty sleep, his arms seeking out Emily who, by his right, should have been in the bed with him, but twice they had shared their bodies and twice he'd woken up alone.

He knew that this silence would kill their connection, but what could he do but wait for Emily to come back?

There was coffee brewing and Emily had brought in the paper but the woman herself was gone. Beside the coffee pot was a note, a hastily scribbled _I'm sorry_ on a napkin.

 _I'm sorry too_ , Nolan thought. There would be no avoiding it the next time he saw her, they both knew it, and was unsure of what he could say, though in a way, Nolan was grateful for the time he could spend alone.

The man had much on his mind.

Nolan poured himself a cup of black brew and took it outside to the deck. She was not there but he hadn't expected her to be. He turned his eyes out to the shore and decided that he was just moody enough to walk the stormy beach.

He did this sometimes, when he was feeling lonely or depressed, walk barefoot in the wet sand. He hadn't felt lonely in several months, let alone the last several weeks. It seemed that Emily had never been out of contact for more than a few days and since the fire he'd had the Emily he'd always wanted, he'd seen her light, happy and free of the stranglehold her vengeance had had over her life.

_I wanted her as a real friend for so long, but now?_

Having Emily as a lover...he'd only ever allowed himself to daydream about her in that way, knowing all too well that his little ninja would break his thumbs if he ever approached her with that intention.

Emily's way of playing hard-to-get, he supposed.

He wanted her again, as any man would, but more than the heat of her body, he wanted to know where he stood in her eyes. Kicking a rock down the shore, he knew he would laugh if he didn't feel so miserable.

______________________________

Hours were spent apart without even a text between them offering a hint of intent. It was just as well, what needed to be said had to be done face-to-face.

Emily sat on the edge of her bed, her knee shaking with anxiety at the thought of facing Nolan. She was unsure of what she could say to apologize, or even how she could put into words what she had been through that even now kept her so guarded.

She tensed as she heard Nolan come in the front door of the house, and then he walked past her door. The guest room door was closed, he had to know she was inside, and still he walked past.

Emily understood. Nolan wanted her to come to him, a thing that would take all her strength. Still, Takeda had made her understand that all journeys begin with a single step.

Emily stood from her bed and opened the door.

For his part, when Nolan thought of Emily…well, he wasn't certain what to expect from her now that the line between friend and lover had become so blurred. Would she come back to his room? Should he go down to the guestroom? He didn't want to appear indifferent. He was definitely interested, but he wasn't desperate for her, either. At least, not at the moment. He turned down his bed and moved to get into it just as Emily knocked on the door and peeked into his room.

He was surprised to see her there, watching him. "Emily."

"Hey,"

Nolan faltered, trying to find the right words. "I didn't think you'd come up here after..."

"If you want me to leave, I'll just go back to the guest room," she turned, intent for the stairs but he stopped her.

"No, that's not what I meant." She turned back to face him again and Nolan beckoned her to cross over the threshold. "Come on in, talk to me."

Nolan smoothed down the blanket and sat, patting the space beside him, inviting her to sit on the bed.

The woman hesitated, but she overcame the small fears holding her back, and she crossed the room to join him. She had to remember that the man before her was her friend, Nolan Ross, the man her father had trusted to take care of her, the one man she herself trusted above all others.

_This is Nolan - if anyone can understand, it will be him..._

Emily moved to sit beside him, spearing her fingers through her hair. "I don't know what to say."

Nolan gave her a sad smile. He had expected this, for it to be difficult for Emily to explain herself. He didn't blame her - the life she'd lead hadn't allowed her the luxury of her true feelings.

So, it fell to him again.

Nolan shifted his weight on the bed and tried to organize his thoughts. This wasn't a conversation he'd ever imagined having with her, but he had to pull through for them both if they were going to move forward.

"All right, I guess I'll go first then." Nolan took a deep breath, then took her hands into his, "The last two nights have been great, don't get me wrong, but…as great as they were, they were also mistakes."

This was not what Emily had expected him to say. "Mistakes?"

Nolan squeezed her hands in reassurance, "I should've stopped you that first night, to make sure it was really what you wanted, and last night, again, I should've stopped it..."

"You tried." Emily leaned forward to press her forehead to his, as he had done to her before leaving her the night before. "I knew you were trying to...but I couldn't let you. I can't let you, Nolan."

He heard the hitch in her voice and fought the rise of his own tears. "You can, Emily. After everything...God, Emily, I know what you've been through."

She pulled back to look him in the eyes. "You what?"

"I know why you're...like this, why you feel like you can't trust anyone, especially men. I know about all of it. I...when you went after Dr. Banks I hacked the records, I had a guy break into the institution archives and steal employee records, I had the surveillance videos erased, all of it...I'm sorry, but I had to know."

She did not pull away from him, she didn't lash out at him. Emily looked at him, she simply looked.

"And does it help, knowing what happened to me?"

Nolan released her hand to touch her face, pressing his palm to her warm cheek. "No. I understand you better for it. Emily, if I had known, I would have done everything to get you out of that place-"

"But you didn't, Nolan."

"I hate myself for it."

"Nolan, no. You didn't know. There was no way you could've known. They took steps to make sure no one knew about any of it." She leaned into him again, and Nolan drew his arms around her.

"I've been keeping in contact with my lawyer, Ems. There's no way they'll get out of there, it's twenty years worth of their crimes and cover-ups, they'll both rot in there for what they've done to you." He smoothed his hands up and down her back, wishing in a sick way that it was Victoria there with him instead so that he could choke the life out of her.

"It's over, Nolan. I'm trying to move past it, like you've been telling me to do for the past year." She took a deep breath, "I've been reckless these last few days, and I'm sorry. It's not fair to you. I don't know how to give what you deserve."

"It's not in us to quit before we even start trying." Nolan told her, which was true. Tenacity ran strong in them both. "Emily, I want to try being together. You know, like real people." Nolan stroked her back, thinking on it. "After everything, I think we owe each other that chance."

"Maybe it is finally time to try being real." Emily smoothed Nolan's hair back from his face, out of his eyes, the way a mother might do to a young child. "You're the only one who was never fooled when I came here, not even for a second. Why is that?"

Nolan shrugged. "Easy. I know you. Blonde, brunette, black or redhead, you'll always be you. Maybe with a new name every once in awhile, but still you."

Emily gingerly kissed Nolan on the cheek. "So...what do we do now? It's not like I've ever even had a _real_ boyfriend before."

"Boyfriend. Now that's something I haven't been to anyone in a very long time." he tugged on a lock of her hair and smiled slyly. "And who said I wanted you as a girlfriend? I don't know, maybe I want to keep my options open-"

Emily's eyes sparked, "Oh, yeah? Well why don't you give Tyler's brother a call, then? You might as well try to keep it in the family."

"Is that a hint of jealousy I detect? I'm flattered, babe, I didn't know you cared."

She swatted his good arm, "I care, and if you'll be my boyfriend, then I'll be your girlfriend."

That they sounded like two bargaining children was not beyond them, but being so playful after such tension was too tempting a relief. To have Nolan as her friend again, to have him smiling and teasing her was wonderful. The man had managed the impossible task of recovering Emily's warmth, buried under vengeance for so many years.

Nolan feigned a yawn to put his arm around her shoulders, the oldest trick there was. "A girlfriend...you know, I like having girlfriends, they're always around when you need them and seeing as how you're already here..." Nolan flashed her a wicked grin and snaked his hand from her shoulders, lower, to cup her breast.

Emily smacked his hand away, even as heat rose in her from his touch. "Is that all you think about?"

"Oh, only every seven seconds of every single day since I turned fourteen." He shrugged.

Emily frowned at him, "You're an addict, Nolan."

"Consider it a compliment."

Emily sighed.

"...so is that a maybe?" He urged.

"Not tonight, but…can I just…?" Emily said no more before she leaned in and pressed her lips to his. Nolan touched her face, returning her kiss and pressing her for nothing more.

The man moved back into the bed, bringing her with him, his intent that she sleep beside him clear. He held her against his chest, content in lightly stroking the curve of her back.

He closed his eyes, and he felt another light kiss to his lips, and he heard the faint whisper, "Goodnight Nolan."

Emily smiled as she felt his large hand smooth down her back and give an affectionate squeeze to her bottom. "Goodnight Emily."


	18. Chapter 18

On waking, Nolan became aware of only two things; the first was that it was raining outside again, the summer storm coming down heavy against his windows and the second was that Emily was still in bed with him.

Bleary-eyed, he glanced over to check his desk clock and saw that it was close to three in the morning. It might've been the rumbling thunder that woke him, in that moment he didn't care. The woman was asleep beside him, hair a little mussed, her lips slightly parted, but she had stayed.

Nolan had not lied when he told her it had been some years since he'd had a woman of meaning in his life. It was different than when he was with men; men, being men, were guarded and competitive - every night was a veiled battle over who would submit to the other first. Sometimes Nolan would submit, sometimes it would be his man.

Being who he was, Nolan had found that the women he'd become involved with could become dependent much too quickly to be genuine. He had not let many people into his life over the years because it had only been a matter of time before grasping intentions were revealed.

But in all ways Emily was unique.

A woman who had trained herself to hide her feelings and who was now, slowly and surely, learning to express her true self. She was no helpless thing, if Nolan were to lose his mind and cut her out of his life the next morning, he knew that Emily would be established by the next hour. She may mourn the loss, he supposed, but there was no doubt that Emily would survive.

It was her strength that drew him to her, her strength and the few slices of vulnerability he'd glimpsed before the fire. He nuzzled in closer and dropped a kiss on her shoulder.

Hours after Nolan had fallen back to sleep, it was Emily who woke and took the time to reflect on the man she'd spent the night beside.

He had rolled onto his side, his bandaged arm stretched out to the other edge of the bed. His back was exposed thanks to Nolan's preference of sleeping shirtless. The storm went on outside the house, leaving his room much darker than it should be during the early morning hours. Emily didn't need the light to see Nolan.

She pressed her hand against his back, gauging the heat of his skin, quietly exploring the canvas of his flesh. She could feel the deep rise and fall of his breathing while he slept, here and there she could feel boyhood scars, soon to be joined by the newborn scars of the fire.

Nolan shifted slightly. Emily wanted him again, but more than the act, she wanted to try giving herself over to him. She had to try. Feeling a brave impulse, Emily rose over him, rolling him onto his back as she lightly straddled his narrow hips. She leaned down and began trailing kisses over his throat.

Nolan stirred beneath her, lifting his hands to rest over her thighs. "Mmm...Emily, I'm starting to feel like you're just using me."

She pulled back to look at him, though he had not yet opened his eyes. "What?"

He smoothed his hands up her thighs and over her hips, until he palmed the globes of her bottom and he was vaguely disappointed to realize that she still wore the satin shorts from the night before. "I'm not a piece of meat, and here you are, objectifying me. You should be ashamed of yourself, treating me like this - I have emotional needs, you know."

She leaned forward to rest her elbows on his chest, staring him down as he'd finally blinked himself into awareness. "All right, I beg your forgiveness. What do you need?"

Ever mischievous, Nolan drew back his hand and gave a sound smack to her backside. "I want to talk about my feelings."

Emily rolled off of him, surprised and laughing hard. "I'm starting to feel like you're turning into a woman."

He shifted onto his side to face her, their long legs tangling beneath the sheets. "I've always been the sensitive one in our relationship, while you were as stone-cold as you needed to be to get the job done. That's why we work so well together."

Emily raised her brows and reached to him, mussing his hair until it was a fluffy blonde halo over his head. "Hey, who said that this is a relationship? I don't like to be tied down with commitments, babe."

Nolan gripped her wrists, loving the game, loving that she stole his pet name for her. "Oh, no bondage? How about some roleplaying, then? I'll be a cowboy and you can be the lonesome school marm - what do you say, darlin'?"

Emily laughed and kissed Nolan on both his cheeks, loving his humor, his ability to lighten any situation by cracking a joke. It was a gift that she might have had too if her life had only been different. She loved that, in the time spent with him since the fire, she had been free to be herself, the woman she should have been all along.

Nolan pulled her in closer and nuzzled her neck, a movement of lazy arousal. _A guy could get used to this_ , he thought. Emily, affectionate and open, in his bed and in his arms. _Who would've thought we'd end up like this?_

Emily raised herself up onto her elbow and traced his jawline, simply looking at him. Nolan, her friend and lover. He quirked a brow at her. "What, see anything interesting?"

The woman hesitated, some distant emotion welling in her heart, words forming on her lips to voice the sentiment.

"My first time...it should have been like this."

A bed, the gentle hands of a man she could trust, not the hard, forced filth that had stolen her virginity if not her innocence, all those years ago.

Her simple words speared through him. Nolan's hands rose to her face, cupping her cheeks, smoothing the hair out of her eyes. He brought her in close and pressed his lips to hers. They were linked in their regrets and past sorrows, but with vengeance now satisfied, they were free to start a life together.

Emily meant a great deal to him, and in her way she had cemented his place in her heart. She had not considered Nolan in this way before the fire; the man had earned her trust and proven himself time and again. She had known him to be loyal, she had known him to be cunning.

There had been times when she pictured her life after she'd finished her work in the Hamptons: she would envision running away to a place where she would never be recognized, taking on a new identity and starting fresh. In many of these fantasies, Nolan played a part - he was her one true link to her past and so precious that she didn't have it in her to cut him off, even in her daydreams.

Not that Nolan would have allowed her to cut him out of her life, after the year of conspiring they'd shared she knew that he would chase her to the other side of the world ten times before he would let her drop their connection.

Nolan was often determined to have his way.

"Emily, I wish I could have changed things for you."

She shook her head, "Nothing that happened was your fault." A spark of inspiration came to her, a way to lift her friend's lingering guilt. "Besides, you are a genius. I'm sure you'll be able to go back and fix everything after you build that time machine I know you've been working on."

His eyes widened, "Who told you I was trying to-? Wait, Emily, was that...a joke?"

"Just a little one."

Emily gasped as he rolled her beneath him, suddenly aroused, unable to stop himself from grinding his hips into the apex of her spread thighs. He wanted so much to touch her, to ride her deep into the mattress in a fit of joyful lust.

_Get a grip, Nol. Slow down._

It was an effort toget control over his libido, but the man was able to still his movements against her and pull himself away from her body even as Emily grasped at him in confusion. "Nolan, why are you-?"

"I meant what I said last night, we went at this whole thing backward." Nolan's body raged at him as he went on to say, "We need to slow this down."

He jerked when she pinched his thigh, "You tease."

"Sorry, babe, it'll be awhile before you get anymore of this hot slice of man." Nolan said, motioning to himself in the height of arrogance.

Emily sighed and smiled, her body tense from being aroused and then denied, but she agreed with Nolan's logic. If they were to try for something real, then a little distance would be needed.

_Damn man._

"So what should we do instead?"

"I don't know. More Arkham city?" He suggested, only half-serious. Gotham was nothing compared to what he wanted to do with Emily, but if he couldn't take her he'd be satisfied with a few hours' worth of gaming.

Emily shook her head, quick to nix his idea. "No. This time, I want to teach you."

______________________________

"Emily, I'm not sure I can..."

She touched his jawline, encouraging the man. "You can Nolan, just follow my lead."

Nolan swallowed, still unsure to be put in such a position. He had never done this before, he hated making a fool of himself. "You, uh, seem pretty good at this."

She nodded, her movements against him careful. "I've had a lot of practice."

Nolan grimaced, "Great, that's just what I want to hear, that you've had a lot of practice with a bunch of different guys-"

Emily lightly smacked his good arm. "Focus, Nolan. Move your hips, come on. Nice and easy. That's it."

He did as she told him, and carefully found the rhythm to match her. Of all the things he'd learned over the years, dancing had proven the most difficult. Perhaps all it took was a different teacher. "This still feels weird...but it's getting easier."

"Just keep moving, now put your hands on my hips." Emily smirked at him, "Guide me against you."

Nolan returned her grin. "This is familiar."

"It's supposed to be." Emily rested her cheek against his shoulder as they swayed to the music.

Nolan smoothed his hands around to rest at the small of her back. "I like you like this."

"Hmm, what do you mean?"

He shrugged, "You know I've always liked you, even when you got a little twisted on me, but since the fire it's been nice to have you acting...you know, human."

Emily barked out a laugh of surprise. "Human? What was I before, then?"

Nolan dipped his head to nuzzle her neck, "Mmm...human-lite? All the flavor of the original with only half the humanity?"

Emily tilted her head back, giving him better access to the flesh of her throat. "I was a diet soda, thanks."

Nolan pulled back to look at their feet. "Am I still doing this right?"

Emily shook her head, "Don't look down. Come in closer now, don't let any space get between our bodies."

The man dropped a kiss on her cheek, his smile wicked. "I can do that."

He moved in closer, holding her tighter, until there was no daylight between them from their chests to the tops of their thighs. Emily felt his arousal against her and bit her lip to keep from smiling.

Nolan noticed the color flooding Emily's neck and cheeks, satisfied to see that he wasn't the only one affected by being so close. He groaned slightly, regretting the call he'd made for them to abstain for the time being. Emily was addictive and it was clear she wanted him as well.

The tempo of the music began to pick up, the beat coming in quick pulses of rhythm.

"Yes, now get a little rough." Her eyes flashed at him, "Try to control me."

"You're serious?"

Emily tightened her grip on his shoulder, "Show me you're a man."

"I thought I'd done that the last few nights."

Emily blushed "I remember."

______________________________

Eventually, the storm let up enough for the pair to venture to the damp beach below his house. Rolling up their pant legs and walking the packed shore, Emily kept her hand tucked into the crook of Nolan's elbow. She liked having him to herself like this, he calmed her demons even if he couldn't put them to rest completely.

"Recognize that boat?" Nolan asked, nodding toward the horizon.

Emily shielded her eyes and stared out, raising her brows in mild surprise. "It's the Amanda. Jack is out early this morning."

He nodded and moved to perch on a large sun-bleached log of driftwood. "Might be his day off. Do you think we should tell him about us?"

Emily considered his question. "I don't think we owe him a special explanation. He'll get the picture if he visits the house again, or the next time we go to the Stowaway. You can tell him if you want to, though."

Nolan smiled wryly. "Somehow I don't think he'll be thrilled to know that his dream girl has been stolen out from under him, especially by me. Again."

Emily raised her brows, "Again? Something you'd like to share?"

"It was years ago, before I even lived here." Nolan shook his head, "Just this stupid New Year's kiss his girlfriend laid on me so she could start a fight." A girl like that, pretty as she had been, seemed to be more trouble than she was worth.

"Sounds dramatic."

"Yeah, that bit of drama earned me a black eye, but who could blame her? Sometimes it's a curse being this irresistible." He grinned at her, and reached to take her hand, lacing their fingers.

"You do have your moments." Emily bent at the waist to drop a kiss on his forehead.

"I don't know if Jack even remembers it, but learning that we're together won't help our friendship."

"Well, we gave it a shot Nolan but if Jack means that much to you, then you and I can just go back to being acquaintances. Who knows? Maybe I'll drop you a line when I land on my feet." Emily waved at him over her shoulder as she turned to walk away.

Nolan rushed after her, sweeping her into his arms, twirling her over the sand as she laughed into him. "Hey, hey, I don't like him _that_ much." Nolan set Emily back on her feet and tickled her hip, "If given the choice you know I'd pick you every time, even when you're being mean."

"I haven't been mean to you in the last five minutes."

Nolan kissed her, surprised when Emily deepened it, pulling him in closer.

"He might hate us for this." Nolan lamented quietly when they parted.

"He may get mad but its not in him to hate anyone." Emily's eyes bore into his own. "And I'm not apologizing to him for being happy with another man."

"I hope you're right."

The pair continued walking the beach, stopping here and there to pick up a sea shell or a rock to skip back into the water. Through it all, Emily was reminded of the summer before, when she had worked her way into Daniel's heart...this, playing on the beach with her chosen man, was the same thing she had done, but it was entirely different. With Nolan, there was no scheme, no calculation behind her every smile and touch.

She felt...it was the way she had felt when she'd been a girl, carefree and safe.

Later, when they returned to the house, tired and a little hungry, Emily made fritattas while Nolan chose a film, this time something outside of the comic book and action genre.

After the film, the pair retired to the backyard where Nolan demonstrated his favored astronomy app. He aimed the tablet at the sky and Emily watched as the universe expanded before her eyes. Constellations unfolded before them, planets swirled above them, billions of miles away and giving rise to a shared feeling of insignificance. They kissed, they embraced and curled together on the lounge, a bottle of wine shared between them on the low table.

As far as taking the first steps into a relationship, they would deem their first day spent as a couple a true success.


	19. Chapter 19

It was Emily who suggested a change of scenery; not that she had grown tired of the beach, and she certainly hadn't grown bored with Nolan, it was only that the Hamptons offered little in the way of entertainment outside of the season parties and polo games.

Emily had had enough of those to last a lifetime and Nolan was rarely at ease in such settings. Over dinner - a joint effort of grilled steaks, pasta and wine - they talked it out, finding that living under the shadow of having to explain things to Jack, or Daniel or whoever else, was tedious to them both.

She didn't feel that any special explanations were owed to anyone; they were all adults, and from the outside it would appear that since Emily had decided to stay with Nolan after the fire, things between them had moved beyond a simple friendship and on to real romance.

Besides, her vengeance may have been fulfilled, but she still liked to carry a bit of mystery.

Nolan was a bit more sensitive than she was on the topic. He had told her that he would choose her over anyone else, and he stood by that, but he didn't want to lose his friendship with Jack. The truth would come out eventually, they knew, but Nolan didn't want to have that conversation yet.

Some time away was needed, and the pair agreed that a weekend in the city was called for.

"It's been a while since I was in the city, what about you?" Nolan asked as he carried Emily's bag to the car.

He was glad that she had packed light; there was plenty of space in his city penthouse but Emily couldn't take everything from the Hamptons with her in a suitcase. It was fine, her bank cards had come in so Emily could buy whatever caught her eye while they window-shopped 5th Ave. Nolan was thinking of picking up a leather jacket for the upcoming fall.

Beside him, Emily shook her head. "I can't remember going to the city just to go. I always had, you know, a reason for being there."

Nolan knew very well. Someone to spy on, a group in which to immerse herself. She had been a busy girl back in the days before her arrival on the Hamptons scene.

"So this'll be a first for both of us, you've never had the chance to enjoy the city and I've never had a girlfriend stay over at my city place."

She shot him a daring look. "I'm not your girlfriend, Nolan."

"Oh, yeah? You can carry your own bag, then." He smirked and shoved the duffle into her arms as he continued on toward the Rossmobile.

Emily laughed and tossed it into the backseat. "You are a perfect gentleman. What's your place like?"

Setting his own bag beside hers, Nolan shrugged. "I haven't been there for a few months, I know it has a great view but I never really lived there - it's more of a crash pad for whenever I'm in the city. If you're good I'll let you decorate it, give the place a woman's touch."

He settled behind the wheel as Emily buckled in, smiling. "I'm looking forward to it. I'll have the place covered in hot pink and kitten calendars for you by the end of the week."

Nolan looked at her. "You really are cruel, you know that?"

She slipped on a pair of sunglasses, "I'm pure evil, babe."

Smiling, he steered the car toward the Hamptons private airstrip where the chopper was waiting for them.

______________________________

To anyone in Manhattan, the blonde pair strolling the city looked to be a couple of college students deep in their first love. No one would think to look twice and double-take to realize that the lanky young man was actually Nolan Ross, the cagey billionaire who had redefined global telecommunications, nor would anyone recognize the girl on his arm as Emily Thorne, the secret slayer who had decimated countless people and brought an empire to its knees.

To the simple eye, they were a casual pair of summer-chic kids who had driven up to the city for the weekend. They were half-right, anyway. Nolan had driven them to the airstrip but it was the Nolcorp private pilot who had taken them the rest of the way.

After trading in their lazy beach clothes and picking up a suit for him and a dress for her at a boutique, they saw a Broadway show, threw coins into a fountain at Central Park and shared dinner at a swank restaurant Nolan swore up and down served the best gelato outside of Italy. Emily had tasted gelato while she was in Italy one year, the dessert on the menu was second only to that served in Rome.

It was been a long day, and finally the time came when Nolan lead her to the building that held his penthouse. Stepping inside, Emily let her eyes wander. The space was much like Nolan had described: barren but boasting a spectacular view of the city.

"I told you, I hardly ever come up here."

Emily shrugged. "You weren't kidding. It could use a little color."

There were two beige sofas in the large living room, with a taupe chair and ottoman in the corner. The walls were painted a soft cream shade, the coffee and end tables were plain glass. No art or photographs hung on the walls to make the space Nolan's home away from home, though she spied a tablet charging on one of the low tables. She had to wonder just how many tablets he had, she recalled two at his Hamptons house.

"I'll leave that to you. I meant it when I called this a crash-pad, I came up here to sleep when I wasn't working on building Nolcorp."

"It was your baby."

Nolan shrugged and set their duffle bags down on one of the plain sofas. Moving to one of the large windows, he took in the view, the city laid out before him. He did love a good view and the penthouse held one of his favorites, even if he hadn't spent more than a few nights at a time there.

_Manhattan at night, I love it._

"Nolcorp is still my baby. A few bumps along the road to success but we made it here somehow." He looked at her over his shoulder, "I called ahead, there's food in the fridge and clean sheets on the bed. You can change if you want."

Emily moved throughout the space of the penthouse, her curiosity clawing at her though she was not rewarded in her search for anything of interest. Like the living room, the study was mostly beige but for the little bookshelf on the wall lined with well-worn sci-fi novels.

The bedroom housed a king-size bed draped with hunter green linens and a black topper. Instead of more plain paint, the walls were exposed red brick, one of them holding an old wood desk. The desk held a few framed photographs of a young Nolan with people Emily didn't recognize. She had not felt the need to dig into his past, he had never been a mark and after their fight over Tyler she had paid him the respect of staying out of his personal affairs.

"I don't know about you, but I'm beat." Nolan said as he came into the room. He blinked, taking in the surroundings. "I almost forgot what this place looked like, but I always remember the walls in here," he dragged his hand across the rough brick. "I had them strip the walls for me after a month, I can't take all this beige."

She smiled, "Don't worry, I'll have the place covered in flowers and lace in no time."

Raising a brow, the man removed his watch and set it on the dresser. "What happened to the kitten calendars?"

"A girl can change her mind. Maybe I'll throw it all together while you're out tomorrow, you'll walk in and think you came into the wrong apartment."

"Hilarious."

Nolan loosened his tie and turned around when he saw Emily approaching him in the reflection of the mirror. "Penny for your thoughts?"

Smiling lightly, Emily came closer and loosened his tie for him, slipping the loop over his head and tossing it onto the dresser. She did not stop there, she unbuttoned his shirt for him, one by one, from neck to navel.

The woman curled her arms about his waist and hugged her friend, closing her eyes when his arms came over her. Nolan's hands smoothed down her bare back, loving that the dress left her flesh exposed for him.

It had been over two weeks since they had last slept together, their ill-fated rutting on his living room floor. They both regretted that night in more ways than one.

Their trip to the city had carried silent hope to have each other again. Nolan had wanted to do the right thing, to wait and build a typical relationship with Emily, and his attempt at normalcy might have worked, if only the world had been different - if they hadn't spent over a year in close company, plotting against half the Hamptons, getting each other into trouble, getting each other out of trouble and generally carrying on as secret partners in crime.

They were in too deep with each other to be "normal" - as far as anyone knew, they had only met the year before, they were simple acquaintances grown close with time. That was the extent of their relationship.

The truth was sure to shock the world.

When it came to Emily, the man's resolve was weak - he wanted her, and sleeping beside her yet not having her had been driving him crazy. He willed himself to gain control and stop himself from throwing her on the bed; he had to know she was ready for this.

She kissed his neck, smiling when he shivered and tightened his hold on her. "You know what I'm thinking, Nolan."

He dipped his head to murmur in her ear, "You never told me you can read minds."

She pulled back, her expression teasing, "I can't, but if I read yours right now would I like what I found?"

"Mmm...most of it, I think. The rest you might kill me for."

"We'll see about that."

With a sudden burst of energy, Emily shoved Nolan back onto the bed. He raised himself onto his elbows and watched as she stepped between his spread legs and undressed. The dress fell to the floor, forgotten, leaving her clothed in navy lace.

This was a serious event between them but he would be damned if he wasn't going to have some fun with her tonight and many others to follow, if he got his way.

He feigned a frightened expression, "Are you planning to have your wicked way with me?"

She smirked, "Don't fight it, Nolan."

"Dont you dare touch me, I'll scream!"

"I'm counting on it."

Emily moved onto the bed, straddling his hips. Her eyes never left his as she freed him and lowered herself, sinking down until Nolan filled her. She kept his gaze, revealing herself in that connection, the union of their bodies and gaze.

The urge to turn away from him rose in her, but Emily batted it down. She couldn't do that to Nolan, not now, not now.

She shifted on him, surprised when Nolan rose to sit up and take her face in his hands. He didn't say anything for several long moments. She could feel his arousal pulsing within her, hot and hard and pure male. Nolan had been waiting for this, but he was no over-eager boy with his first date.

"It should have been like this from the start, Ems."

Nolan pressed the pad of his thumb to the center of her lower lip, looking at her, sure that he loved this woman and sure that he was loved. Words fell away, unnecessary in the face of all that they were to each other.

He kissed her softly, holding her as she held him, kissed him.

All too soon, the urge to move overcame them, heated lust pairing with the human need to connect.

As Emily began to writhe atop him, questions and concerns faded from Nolan's mind, giving rise to the passionate animal within, which lead them both from one plane of sensual existence and into the next.

______________________________

When it was over, both of them laid awake, the woman pensive while the man was simply satisfied. Emily turned to him, "I'm not sorry, are you?"

"I've come to regret a few things where you're concerned," Nolan admitted as he stretched his arms, showing his knife scar and the healing burns, his marks of devotion. "Last night isn't one of them. No, I don't regret this by a long shot."

She smiled lightly, "Glad to hear it."

Long fingers curled over her waist, drumming lightly on her skin. "This changes things. We can't go back now." He murmured.

"I know." Was her soft reply.

"It's a good change, though. Don't you think?"

Emily mirrored his movement and drummed her fingertips on his chest, just below his heart. "It's different. This wasn't something I was counting on, but it's like you said – it's time to stop planning every step, and start living. This is what I want."

That Emily associated being with him in this way as part of her new life, of living beyond vengeance and scheming…he was silent for a moment, gladly absorbing the weight of this new truth. She finally wanted to live; she could not have given him a greater gift.

Nolan pressed his forehead to hers for a moment. "Breakfast?"

The sun hadn't broken over the horizon yet, but New York never slept.

She shook her head. "Just coffee."

"Such a minimalist. Come on, eat something."

Emily raised her brows in mock challenge. "You're giving me terms now?"

"Yeah, I suppose I am." He grinned back to her.

Emily moved to prop herself up on her elbows at his side. "All right."

"First, smile more. We're trying to make up for lost time." He said, reminding her of the angry scowl from her past.

Emily obliged, giving him a pained smile.

"Wow, don't pull a muscle."

Nolan reached down and tickled her hip, making Emily laugh against him. She twisted, batting his hand away. "You said you had terms, plural."

Nolan turned serious. "Be honest with me. Tell me what will make you happy."

Emily dipped her head, allowing Nolan to touch her face. "I promise…I'll try. Trust isn't something I can do easily, not all at once."

"I understand that, but I haven't given you reason to crush my windpipe, have I?"

Emily snorted on a laugh. "Not in the last week, no."

The man moved up the bed to sit up, then clapped his hands together. "Another joke! Was that so hard?"

Emily rolled over onto her back and ran a hand over her face. "It was exhausting." She deadpanned as she moved to rest her head on his stomach. "Anything else?"

Nolan stroked her hair. He thought for a moment, wondering how he could tell her...what he could say...

"I know you don't…I'm not your Prince Charming or the perfect knight, but I understand you, Amanda. I know the real you. Can any other man say the same?"

Emily stayed silent.

Nolan pulled her up the bed to face him. "This is fine for now. But going forward, just think about it. We could have an interesting life together."

Dark eyes were steady on his. "You really mean that, don't you?"

"Just a thought."

Nolan held her to him, refusing to allow Emily to scuttle off to some dark corner of the penthouse and let herself think about what had just happened. He knew the woman too well. If Emily put distance between them, she could convince herself that what happened didn't matter and so would never happen again - the woman had amazing powers when it came to protecting herself, and he knew her every reason to do so.

Still, he would not let her dismiss this so easily.

Nolan had plans for Miss Emily Thorne.

______________________________

As they spent more time together, Emily came to realize how little she'd known of Nolan as a person. Of course she'd known the man to be vastly intelligent, but aside from his computer intelligence, his flashy clothes and a former lack of physical skill, Emily had known too little of the man she now slept beside.

Nolan was there in the room with her, she could hear him padding about the bed, trying to be quiet. She heard him sifting through his dresser drawers and then through whatever he'd packed in his duffle bag.

She heard the sweep on a comb tog ing through his hair and she caught the faint whiff of a fresh spray of Dolce & Gabbana cologne. _Light Blue_ , one of her favorites.

She knew he had a bit of work to manage at Nolcorp and despite his invitation to visit the office, Emily felt she better served his company as a silent partner. She would miss him while he was gone, but after the night they'd shared she was happy to stay in bed rather than put herself together for a meeting with Nolan's chief clients.

She felt the bed sink as a weight settled on the mattress beside her. "Emily?"

The man was trying to nudge her awake and she frowned, swatting at his hand. "No."

She could hear the smile in his voice. "Come on, get up."

"No, I'm still tired."

Nolan dipped his head to kiss her shoulder. He was already dressed for the day, and he marveled at the reverse of their roles here: he was usually the one to sleep late, while most days Emily could be counted on to be up and active before dawn.

"After last night, I'll take that as a compliment. I have a few errands to run, can you hold down the fort?"

"Sure, I can manage."

"All right, be back in a few."

Nolan left the room, glancing back to see Emily curl deeper into the covers. _Let her sleep_ , he thought. He had things to do, she would see soon enough.

______________________________

Nolan was a bit unsure of where he stood with Emily, but he didn't think that his buying her a little gift would complicate anything between them. They already shared their bodies, his home, a clandestine past and soon, he'd give her a little gift. No pressure, it wasn't as if he'd been out shopping for diamonds all day.

_Still…_

Riding the elevator back up to the penthouse, he snuck another look at the simple locket, a golden oval nestled in Tiffany teal. It was a nice enough necklace on its own, he supposed, but the real treasure was the restored picture of her father that he'd slipped inside.

Emily's infinity box had been destroyed in the fire and with it, many pictures that she had managed to recover over the years. He knew it pained her more than she let on, knowing that so much, and so much of it irreplaceable, had been destroyed overnight. Nolan gave himself a pat on the back, congratulating himself for the romantic gesture.

Within the locket, her father would never be far from her now. They would be a family, a thought that lit a smile on his face. Nolan pocketed the gift, feeling lighthearted as the elevator opened on his floor.

Despite his age, the man was naive. He did not yet understand that so much new happiness had to be paid for.


	20. Chapter 20

Jack had not seen Emily in weeks – he knew she might be busy, either with househunting or with getting back to her life of charity work and historical preservation. In truth, he hadn't much of an idea of what she did with herself in her day-to-day life, either before or after the fire.

The savage attack she had suffered at the hands of Victoria Grayson still shocked him; he'd learned the older woman's capacity for cruelty in viewing the tapes of little Amanda's interviews with that worm, Treadwell. Victoria had had the power, the influence, to get Amanda out of that place, away from those people.

But Emily, why attack Emily?

Jack couldn't think of a reason why Victoria would attack Emily, other than the breaking of her engagement to Daniel over the winter. It had been several months since she returned Grayson's ring, but in those months the family had all but fallen apart.

Conrad had already been sentenced to a minimum of twenty-five years for embezzlement and criminal intimidation, with a case building against Victoria that would carry the same sentence. The company's involvement in Americon Initiative's homeland terrorism had already come to light. Add on the attempted murder charge and Victoria was done for. Declan had shared a rumor that young Charlotte fled the Hamptons just after her father had been arrested - she was in London...or maybe it was Lisbon. No one knew for sure.

Jack had liked Charlotte, and wherever she landed he hoped she could start a new life for herself, away from the shadow of the Graysons' crimes. She wasn't like her parents, she deserved a chance at happiness.

As for Daniel, Jack knew he was falling apart - the stress of trying to keep Grayson Global above water and manage his parents' legal defense had clearly been wearing on him, just weeks ago he'd caused a scene at the docks and spent the night in a drunk tank. There had been a story on the evening news.

Jack wanted to see Emily. He hadn't had a chance to speak with her about their kiss in the winter; she had disappeared, and then there had been the fire. He'd gone to Nolan, knowing the two were close and he'd found her recovering from the fire there.

It had been weeks since she'd came to visit him at the Stowaway, and she'd seemed much happier than when he'd first seen her at Nolan's house. She'd seemed serene, accepting of the fact that her home was gone but so thankful to be alive.

Jack ordered Bull in charge of the bar and went upstairs to shower, change his clothes and work up his nerve. Emily wasn't just any girl, she might be _the_ girl. He just had to talk to her, to see if she thought he was a risk worth taking.

"Where you off to, J?"

He smiled at Bull on his way out the door. "I'm gonna go talk to Emily."

"That leggy blonde who's always in and outta here?"

Clearing a tab, Declan smiled. "You could be talking about Nolan or Emily there, they both fit the profile."

Bull laughed and Jack joined him.

"Isn't Emily still at Nolan's?" Declan asked him. "I've been up the beach, they've already started the demo on what was left of her house."

Jack shrugged. "She'll be over there for the time being, I guess. Last time she was in here she said she would be looking for a new place soon."

Declan narrowed his eyes, taking in his brother's touched-up appearance, a knot of dread rising in him. "Why are you going to talk to her?"

Jack knew the look in Dec's eyes and took a deep breath. "I just want to see if she's up for some lunch or dinner later tonight."

Declan rolled his eyes and stepped in closer to his brother as Bull poured drafts for a few regulars who had just come in. "Jack, what're you doing, trying to start up with her again? I mean, after what happened last year?"

Jack shrugged, "Last year was last year, Dec. A lot has changed since then."

"Oh yeah, like what? 'Cause last time I checked, Emily is still a girl used to the champagne life, ok? Her having margaritas at the Bait Bucket last month was probably just a kick for her, you know, two rich kids slumming it for thrills."

Jack shook his head, "Emily's not like that."

"How do you know that, Jack?" Declan demanded, his voice quiet in case they were overheard. "You don't know her any better than you knew Amanda - God, what is it with you killing yourself over these damn girls?"

"Dec, that's enough. Emily and I...look, I just want to talk to her. We didn't get the chance the last time I was with her and I just want to clear the air."

Declan shook his head, "Don't set yourself up to be disappointed, Jack."

"You're a good brother, Dec, but you worry too much." Jack clapped Declan on the arm as he moved toward the door. "Either way, I'll be back later."

Jack headed out, picking up a bouquet of white daisies and headed over to Nolan's, hoping to see Emily smile and say yes when he asked her to join him for night out. _No pressure_ , he assured himself. _We could grab a bite, take a walk...no idea what I'll say, but hell, I have to try._

Jack felt confident that Emily would want a break from Nolan by now.

There was no answer at the front door, but Nolan's car was still in the drive. The pair had been in the backyard the last time he'd dropped in for a visit, so figuring that they were enjoying the nice weather again, Jack went around to the footpath at the side of the house that lead to the back patio.

Approaching the pool, Jack could hear happy yelling and splashing. He paused at the gate when he saw them, two overgrown children rough-housing in the water. His eyes were on Emily as she playfully shoved Nolan away and climbed from the pool.

She had been moving toward the table for a towel when suddenly, Nolan launched himself out of the pool and pounced on her, "You have to stay on your guard, Ems!"

Jack watched, impressed when Nolan twisted Emily's arm behind her back, bringing her back against his chest and wrestling her onto the lounge chair. Since when was Nolan so coordinated?

Emily tried to free herself but Nolan's grip was too strong for her, "You're going to pay for this later, Nolan!" She yelled, both laughing and indignant.

"Is that a promise? I hope whips and chains are involved."

Emily laughed and swatted at his arm, but worried, "Nolan, what if someone sees?"

Nolan dropped his voice close to her ear, teasing her. "What do you care? No one saw us last night or the day before..."

The blondes were all laughs and smiles, but as Jack watched, their horseplay became something else entirely.

Still bracing one arm around her neck to keep her anchored to his chest, Nolan's free fingertips snaked down her waist and slipped under the band of her bathing suit, between her legs. Jack started forward, intent to stop his groping, but he stopped short on seeing that Emily did not struggle away from Nolan or scream at him to get his hands off her. No. Instead, the woman let her head roll back on his shoulder and gave him her mouth. Her body writhed against his as they kissed, his other hand moving away from her neck to palm her breasts.

Jack shook his head, disgusted with them both. He had seen enough. It was clear what was happening, what had already been happening between them for some time.

He tossed her bouquet on the driveway and stalked away from the house.

______________________________

Nolan's confidence, once a thing born purely from his immense wealth, was changing as it flowed through him. It was _her._ Emily's commitment to restart her life, to laugh, to play, to live, was a beautiful thing to see. Already the stone-cold warrior had melted away to reveal the true woman.

The woman she was always meant to be, the woman Nolan felt blessed to have finally met. Well, he'd more than just met her. They had already been formally introduced and were now quite close.

Nolan thought back to their first night together, and their latest adventure near the pool. He smiled slyly as he walked the pier, recalling how mortified Emily had been after she'd caught her breath against him. She was far from the shameless hedonist that Nolan was, but there was still plenty of time for her to catch up.

_I'll have fun bringing her up to speed._

The man felt the small Tiffany box in the front pocket of his blazer and was reassured. For whatever reason, he'd decided to wait on gifting Emily the gold locket he'd bought for her during their days spent in the city. He cringed at how sickeningly _romantic_ he'd become lately, but all the same he couldn't stop the smile from spreading over his face.

His special idea was to give her the present while they went sailing another evening later in the week. He'd spent the last hour booking a boat to take them out to sea, he knew Emily would like that - he never did learn how to sail the _Amanda._ His interest in sailing and anything outside of the revengenda had faded after Emily caught his attention the year before.

"You look happy."

Nolan turned around, startled that he'd been so absorbed in his thoughts that he'd passed right by Declan on the boardwalk. The young man was seated at an outdoor picnic table, a half-eaten burger to his left and a half-finished text message on the cell phone to his right.

"Oh, sorry about that, Dec." Nolan shrugged, "I was thinking my big thoughts."

Declan stood, "Some cool new Nolcorp project?"

Nolan nodded, "Yeah, in a year or two a TV as you know it will be a thing of the past."

Declan raised his brows. "What're you replacing TV with?"

"It's complicated, but basically it'll be a hologram projected within a frame to keep the light from diffusing. The prototype I built has held up so far." Nolan made a mental note to have one delivered to him; what teenager wouldn't love the latest ground-breaking Nolcorp gadget?

Nolan moved to sit on the bench across from him. "What've you been up to?"

Declan cracked his knuckles. "The usual, calculus is kicking my ass, I've been hitting the books all day, you caught me on a break."

"We all need a break, but you have to stick with it."

"Why? You didn't."

Nolan shot him a smug look. "I dropped out of MIT because I could teach the advanced physics class by my first week, I've been cracking computer codes since I was twelve and I was once asked to consult on NASA's telecomm system. So if you can do all that, then yes, by all means drop out of college and see how far you get in the real world."

Eyes wide, Declan downed the rest of his cola. "All right, point taken. Give me another half-hour and I'll get back to it."

_____________________________

After leaving Declan to finish his late lunch, Nolan strode into the Stowaway and slapped the bar with his open palms, "Hey, Jack. What's good?"

Jack turned away from the register, his expression lacking its usual close-lipped smile of amusement. His face was curiously blank, though there was tension in his posture. Nolan assumed the man was just tired, he knew he worked the bar nearly every day. "Your usual, Mr. Ross?"

Flicking a peanut shell down the bar, Nolan looked up. "Sure, I – Mr. Ross? What's that about?"

Jack's jaw clenched, "Just trying to stay in my place, sir."

Nolan smiled, "What're you talking about? Am I about to get _Punk'd_ again? They already got me a couple years ago, though that episode never aired due to...technical difficulties with all their equipment."

Jack braced his arms on the bar and leaned in, revealing the resentment he'd been carrying for years. "You know, I just had to learn the hard way that it's you rich guys girls will go for – no matter what. I thought she wasn't like that but the eyes don't lie."

Nolan frowned, concerned now. "What happened to make you-?"

"I saw you with her, Nolan."

Jack's words cracked across his mind, gripping Nolan in complete and immediate fear. _Oh no, no, no. It wasn't supposed to happen like this!_

"You…you saw us…"

Jack stared him down, this ridiculous cartoon of a man with his mismatched clothes and his fop haircut; everything in him was raging to know why Emily chose these empty little boys over him, when he had something real that he didn't believe they could ever give her.

"Oh, yeah, I saw it all. You must've been working on this one for awhile, huh? What, you pose as the friend before moving in on her, and she's supposed to be so grateful for you letting her stay at your place that she can't turn you down? That's downright genius, Nolan." Jack scowled at him, "I did the right thing. I gave her time after she broke it off with Daniel. Maybe too much time, I don't know, but I would never have tried to take advantage right after she'd almost been killed."

Nolan shook his head, wanting to explain everything, wanting Jack to understand that what he had started with Emily wasn't what he thought, it wasn't some meaningless fling, it was _real._

"Jack, please, you don't understand, it wasn't anything like that-"

Jack cut him off, "I don't want to hear it, I know you have a million dollar excuse but it's worthless to me. Just take care of her, Nolan. That girl has been through enough."

"Take care of her? Jack, we didn't plan this, things just... Please believe me when I say that we didn't do this to hurt you, that's the last thing we would want to do." Nolan's words were true even as his expression made the swift transition from concerned to fierce in one blink of his cold blue eyes. "But if you accuse me of taking advantage of Emily again I'll call in my loan and burn this bar to the ground."

Nolan stalked out of the bar, almost shaking in tension.

Jack tossed a hand towel at his retreating back. "Get lost, rich boy."

______________________________

Nolan stepped into the house and tossed his keys on the bar, figuring that he'd find Emily in the pool or on the deck. _What a day!_

Despite Emily's indifference, Nolan had wanted to have a sit-down with Jack in the next few days to explain that things between he and Emily had taken a deeper turn while she'd been under his roof. Nolan had planned out the scenario; in his mind's eye, he and Jack would meet up for coffee or a drink, and Nolan would be as open and honest as his situation with Emily would allow.

_"Jack, there's something I need to tell you. It's about Emily. Since she's been staying with me, we've grown a lot closer. I owe you the truth: Emily and I are together now."_

After that, Nolan had imagined Jack might be disappointed, especially since there had been no closure for them after the kiss they'd shared in the winter. Yes, he thought that Jack would be disappointed, maybe a bit upset but accepting of it at the end.

But no, Jack would never hear his speech because Jack had been there with them in the backyard and seen everything Nolan and Emily had done by the pool, or, Nolan shivered to recall, everything he had done to Emily by the pool. Dragging her against him into the lounge chair, biting at her neck as his hands roamed her body, torturing her with ten wicked fingertips...

 _Jack caught one hell of a show,_ Nolan mused to himself, recalling what had gone on between them on the deck. _I guess I ought to feel lucky he didn't see everything she did to me once we got back inside the house._

He shivered, still feeling an echo of arousal from their play that afternoon. Emily's need to distance herself from him was fading, it had been proven that she trusted him with her safety, her body and her secrets - it was her heart that she guarded most fiercely, and it was her heart that Nolan wanted now.

Jack was going to complicate things, Nolan knew. Emily claimed to have no interest in the man now, but Nolan knew better. She might pull away from him once she learned of Jack's anger and pain at their new connection.

The man didn't know if there was a way to make things right. He didn't want Jack to lash out at Emily the way he had at Nolan earlier in the day; Emily had had a difficult enough time coming to terms with their relationship on her own, it wouldn't help anything to know that she had hurt Jack by choosing Nolan.

He could only imagine the choice words Jack would have in store for Emily if she were to pop into the Stowaway for a quick drink anytime soon. Jack had attacked Nolan's ethics, accusing him of taking advantage while Emily was still supposedly traumatized and vulnerable from the fire; that alone had been enough to cut Nolan, to anger him enough to deal Jack a low blow, reminding him who actually owned the Stowaway and with it, the Porters' home.

Spearing angry fingers through his hair, Nolan shook off any lingering guilt he had over bringing up Jack's financial situation. _Screw him, he had that one coming._

Jack had mentioned something about Emily choosing Nolan just because he was rich, some veiled accusation of Emily being a gold-digger. Victoria hand made that same simple-minded assumption, nevermind that Emily could have bought and sold the Graysons three times over at any time if she had wanted to. Nolan knew that wealth held no meaning to Emily. She had chosen him because she wanted him, but Jack was unable to see that through his smarting pride.

Nolan resolved to warn Emily away from the bar, but to do that he would have to explain why.

 _That'll be a fun little chat,_ Nolan thought, grimacing as he took a bottle of water for himself. _'So, Ems, funny story, you'll laugh when you hear this, but it turns out you were right and someone did see us today - Jack saw everything, isn't that hilarious?' God, she's going to rip my head off._

The man took a deep breath and strode toward the back door, intent to find Emily and share the good news.


	21. Chapter 21

Emily stirred when she felt a weight settle itself beside her thigh on the lounge. Blinking, Nolan came into focus and she gave him a sleepy smile. "Mmm, Nolan, you were gone longer than I expected."

Her friend shrugged slightly and removed his blazer, setting it aside on the back of a patio chair. Slowly, he moved to lay beside her in the lounge, putting his arm around her shoulders as she curled into him. "Sorry, Ems. I was delayed. I didn't think I'd find you conked out by the pool."

Emily nuzzled closer to him, all dreaming comfort. "I wasn't sleeping, I was just resting my eyes."

Nolan looked out to the colorful horizon of sunset. "You and Rip VanWinkle."

"I was just tired. Are you hungry? I made apricot pork chops, they're keeping warm in the oven." Her hand stroked back and forth over his linen-clothed chest.

The man mulled over what to say, how to tell her that, not only had Jack seen them at play by the pool, but Jack had also got it into his head that Nolan had taken advantage of Emily and she had only indulged him to get at his money.

 _Mmm...no news is good news,_ Nolan thought. He didn't see any reason to share Jack's upset with her just yet. What good would it do, really? Emily might have let go of Jack, but it would hurt her to know their friend could think so little of them - he an opportunist and she a fortune hunter.

Nolan didn't intend to keep the secret for long - how could he, when Emily was sure to see Jack at some point in the next few days? - but he saw no reason to bring it up now and ruin their evening. Despite having had her earlier that afternoon, Nolan wanted her again.

"I was just running a few errands that I've been meaning to cross off my to-do list," Nolan told her, thinking of the boat ride he'd booked for them. "I made a few calls, picked up a few groceries, saw Declan and Jack-"

"Oh, you did? How are they?"

Nolan swallowed. "Declan might need help with his math class, I'll offer to tutor next time I see him. Jack is...he's been better."

"Why's that?"

"Just the usual, Might be a good idea to let him have some space. Emily, it's getting dark, do you want to go inside?"

She shook her head against him, curling closer. "Not yet, let's stay out here a little longer."

Nolan didn't have it in him to argue.

______________________________

The man watched as Emily undressed, shamelessly removing layers of clothing. He watched her sift through the drawer she'd commandeered in his dresser, her fingertips gliding over a rainbow of satin. She wasn't like him; she hated to wear a mismatched set.

Gingerly, Emily stepped into a pair of garnet satin shorts and pulled them up over her hips.

"You should sleep topless like I do."

The woman turned to look at him, the matching garnet camisole bunched in her hands. She smiled to see that his icy eyes were fixed firmly on her naked chest. _Men._

Emily turned her back on him and put on the camisole. "Can't make things that easy for you."

She turned to face him, moving toward the bed now. His eyes lighted on her chest, pleased to see her breasts tightening under the drape of satin. "C'mon, Ems, nothing about you has ever been easy."

Nolan sat on the edge of the bed, and she stepped between his spread legs, closing her eyes as he pressed the side of his face into her chest, his arms twining about her waist to bring her in close. Emily's hands reached over his shoulders to smooth up and down his naked back.

Surprising them both, Nolan lifted her up and turned, bringing her down onto the bed. Emily chuckled beneath him, her long legs lifting to curl over his waist, cradling him in her hips.

Nolan planted a soft kiss to her throat. Emily stroked the hair away from his forehead and kissed him there. He'd had her that afternoon, she wanted him all the time they were apart. Emily lightly dragged her nails over his back, smiling when he shivered.

Distantly, Nolan wondered if they might have come together in this way if she had just been a girl he'd met while in college, or if they had met at a Hamptons party or - and he thought of this fairly often - if the Clarkes had never been ripped apart, if Nolan and David had spent years as business partners, if he and Emily might have grown closer under her father's approving eye.

Emily held him to her. "What's on your mind, Nolan? You've been preoccupied since you came back."

Nolan shook his head. He didn't want to think about Jack's eyes on them or the angry accusations that had followed. His time with Emily had made him a better liar; he would tell her about Jack in the morning, he supposed, or wait until they went into town. Emily had been indifferent to the idea of explaining their connection to Jack, Nolan doubted that she would be so indifferent to learn that the man had spied on them in the act.

"No, everything's peachy."

Emily pushed his shoulder to roll him onto his side, clever fingertips drumming on his stomach. "Peachy keen, hmm? You sure?"

She wasn't testing him, he knew she was only concerned. It was still an adjustment.

He tugged on her hair, "As of this moment, things are a-ok." He paused before giving voice to his earlier thoughts. "Actually, Emily, I was just wondering...if we had met in another way, you know, different time, different place, do you think we would be where we are today?"

Emily raised her brows, "Like if we had never met before last year?"

He nodded, "Yeah, or if we had just met in the city, you know, like bumped into each other at a bar or if we'd been in the same class at MIT. If we'd started out like most people do, would we be here, together like this?"

She considered his question, understanding the true question beneath his wandering thought; put simply, Nolan was asking her if they would have been together had they not been partners in crime for so long, drawn to each other again and again by deceptive circumstance. He wanted to know if she would have found him worthy of her on his own, Nolan Ross, without the bells and whistles of a dog's unquestioning loyalty and technical genius. If he had been just the man, and Emily just a woman who had never known the craving for vengeance.

"I don't know, Nolan." Emily thought on it, wondering what she would have made of Nolan if she'd been like every other girl he'd met in his life. "Your clothes might've been a turn-off at first, but I might have given you a chance if you'd made a good joke when you approached me."

"The ladies love a guy who can make 'em laugh."

"You've always had jokes, though when we first met, I didn't like you."

Nolan raised his brows, "Yeah, I picked up on that."

"Not for the reasons you think," Emily was quick to say. "The more I found in the box, the more I read in his journals...other than his lawyers coming in to turn down his requests for appeals, you were the only one who would come to visit him. You gave him hope, you promised him you would protect me, you were his only friend." Emily took a deep breath, her eyes fixed on the ceiling, but looking into their past. "And I _hated_ you for that. I hated that you never bought into the lies when I'd spent years hating him for what they made me believe he did."

Nolan stroked her arm, giving her what comfort he could.

"Those first few nights I stayed at your place, I know I avoided you, but I thought a lot about you. At night, I thought about going into your room and screwing you-"

"What?!"

Emily shook her head. "It had less to do with you, more to do with taking something back, some kind of control for myself. You had the truth, you had my father's trust, you were with him in person when all I'd seen of him for ten years was old news footage. You had everything and I hated you for it."

Emily shook her head, "I don't know why I'm telling you all this now. None of it matters anymore. You and I...whether it happened a few nights after you picked me up from Allenwood, or if we met through friends or if we met at a coffee bar, if it had happened any other way, it wouldn't be this. It wouldn't be _us."_

Nolan didn't say much else that night, he held Emily to him, stroking her back and kissing her face, thinking over what she'd said. The woman didn't bother herself with what-ifs, she was glad of the way they had come together, no matter how unexpected.

Emily was his, Nolan was hers, and for the moment, that was all that mattered.


	22. Chapter 22

They woke, a pale tangle of long limbs and bright hair, mussed from a night of soft teasing. Emily moved, shifting her legs away from Nolan's beneath the sheets, removing her arm from his waist. Somehow, she'd fallen asleep half-atop the man, her aching back and neck were punishing her for it now. As wonderful as Nolan was, the man was no replacement for his own mattress.

"Ow..." Emily muttered, rubbing at her neck. She nudged Nolan with her elbow. "Hey, wake up."

Nolan rolled onto his side, facing her. "I'm not up for a run with you," he said without opening his eyes. He'd already gone along with her a few times, and each time he'd barely managed to drag himself back to the house, wheezing and miserable, with Emily teasing him.

She leaned over to kiss his cheek and ruffle his hair. "You're lazy, Nolan."

"Hey, I work out." He defended through a long yawn.

"You have come a long way," Emily gave him that. "But you're still a housecat."

"I might be a housecat but I made you purr last night." He laid his hand over her hip. "Let's just sleep for the rest of the day."

Emily kissed his forehead, but pressed on. "Can't sleep forever Nolan."

"Not forever, just for the rest of the day." He pulled a pillow over his head to keep her from touching his face. "And maybe all day tomorrow too."

"Get up!" Emily yanked the pillow from him and slapped him over the head with it. "We're low on groceries."

Awake now, but still grumpy, Nolan pulled the pillow away from her, reclaiming it. "We can have them delivered."

"I like to choose my own produce."

"Live dangerously."

"You're already awake, Nolan."

The voice beneath the pillow mound ground out, "Barely."

"Inudge me. I'll cook dinner for the rest of the week." Emily offered in bargain.

"..."

"Nolan?"

"Will you make that Japanese thing again?"

"Yes, if you want."

Nolan threw back the blankets and stood up, suddenly alert and direct.

"Well, get moving Ems, we don't have time to sleep around all day."

______________________________

Nolan trailed behind Emily, a bit bored as he watched her move from one section of the farmer's market to another, her eyes focused, her hands tense as she tested melons for ripeness, the weight of tomatoes and apples, the freshness of spinach leaves.

He didn't mind grocery shopping himself, he was only tired from Miss Sunshine pulling him out of bed, forcing him to dress and act like a human being at the ungodly hour of - he checked his watch - 7:00am.

 _I should still be in bed,_ he thought grumpily, but on seeing Emily handle a bag of peaches, he brightened. _So should she._

He motioned to Emily that he was stepping away for a moment.

Flipping open his cell, he tapped the direct-dial button.

"Mr. Ross, good morning," was the answer.

Sometimes it was _Good afternoon Mr. Ross_ or _Good evening Mr. Ross_ and once or twice it had been _It's 3am on Christmas Mr. Ross, but how may I be of service?_ In any case, the answer was always polite and immediate.

Nolan squinted against the bright sun reflecting on the water. "It's too early to be so alert."

"You pay me to be alert at all times, Mr. Ross."

"That I do. So, tell me what I want to know."

Through the phone, he could hear the rapid clicking of keys. "The defense will try to subpoena both you and Miss Thorne, as we have reason to believe that they intend to call your police statement into question but I of course will block all attempts to do so, under the reasoning that both you and Miss Thorne are still too traumatized by the ordeal to be put on the stand."

Nolan scratched at the worn wood railing with his thumbnail. "Oh, yeah, we're so traumatized by everything that we've started having therapy together over the last few weeks." He smiled slyly, "We have therapy almost everyday."

Catching his meaning, Nolan could hear a smile in the voice on the other end of the line. "I'm glad to hear that, Mr. Ross, though of course the defense will use your recent press event for Nolcorp as claim to your competence to testify at the trial."

"Mmm...try to convince them just how incompetent I am, then."

"No easy task, sir."

"I'm sure you'll find a way, Denise." Nolan glanced over his shoulder to see Emily placing a bunch of grapes into her shopping bag. She smiled and waved at him, Nolan did the same to her. "Listen, if they use the Nolcorp gig against me, then it's fine. I'll tell the jury what I heard while I was on the phone with Emily that night, I'll tell them what Victoria said to me, I'll tell them how I found Emily on the floor with her head cracked open and the house on fire - but you tell them that Emily is off-limits. Are we clear?"

A lengthy clacking of keys. Then, "Yes Mr. Ross."

"Thank you." He took a breath, rising to a lighter tone. "So, dish. Was your son accepted to that program?"

"Charles was, yes, Mr. Ross. Your assistance, it was...thank you so much."

"Anything I can do, 'Nise, you know that." Checking on Emily again, he saw that she was finished shopping and heading his way. "I have to go, I'll call you next week, all right?"

"Yes sir. Goodbye, Mr. Ross."

Nolan cut the call and turned just as Emily met him, her canvas bag already stretched to the seams with groceries. "You cooking for an army?"

"An army of one, Nolan. You still eat like a teenager." She chided him.

"I'm not the only one - what, you think I haven't noticed you having seconds at dinner? Admit it, you live for my cooking."

Shaking her head, Emily set the groceries on a bench and fished inside until she found an apple, its skin a deep garnet red. "If I've been having seconds, you've been having thirds and fourths and then sneaking downstairs when you think I'm asleep to polish off all the leftovers."

She took a bite of the fruit, closing her eyes for a moment as the sweet white flesh crunched between her teeth. She grunted in protest as Nolan took the apple from her and stole a bite for himself. "Mmm...good pick, Ems. I could eat the whole bag before we make it home."

Shooting him a warning glare - decidedly weaker than any of those she gave him before the fire - and then winking at him, Emily took back her apple and moved down the pier, leaving Nolan to take up the weighted sack of groceries and follow after her.

"Hey, look, is that Jack?" Emily gestured across the water, to the back deck of the Stowaway.

He followed her eyes to see that, yes, it was Jack down the pier, leaning his elbows on the railing, obviously just woken up from a restless sleep if the steaming coffee mug he was holding and faded sweats he was wearing were anything to go by.

Emily started forward, "Let's go say hello."

Nolan grasped her arm, stopping her. "Emily, don't."

She turned back to him, "Why not?"

 _No stopping it now,_ Nolan thought with regret. He took a deep breath, careful with his words. "Jack is...he and I got into an arguement the other day, we both took it too far."

Emily tilted her head, surprised. "What? You said you saw him, not that you fought."

"Well, yeah, both those things happened. I saw him, and then we fought." Nolan cleared his throat and looked away, guilty.

She frowned at him, "You should have said something."

"I was going to, I just...I didn't want to get into it last night. I don't want him or anyone else spoiling this." He gestured to her, meaning their new connection.

Emily leaned in, concerned. Nolan was never one for petty snits with friends, and she knew how highly he regarded the Porters. Whatever was said between the men had to have been heavy. "You and Jack have always gotten along, what happened?"

A hundred lies danced through Nolan's mind, but he found himself explaining the truth to Emily, his friend, his lover, that Jack-

"He...he saw us, Ems."

"He saw us...?"

"Yesterday. By the pool. Jack was there and...he saw us."

Nolan stood there, watching as the mortified realization hit her.

"No."

He sighed, feeling rotten for having to tell her the rest. "Yeah, oh, and it gets better, he thinks I...took advantage of you."

Emily furrowed her brow at him, "You're serious? He said that?"

"I'm afraid so." Nolan rubbed his temple for a moment but then thought of a joke, hoping to distract her. "Ironic, right? I mean, if we're going to pick this whole thing apart, _you're_ the one who took advantage of me."

"Excuse me, I what?" Her voice was indignant but she was fighting a smile, knowing he'd pinned her.

Nolan leaned in, smiling. "You snuck into my room. I was trying to be a gentleman that night but you came onto me and-"

Sensing the game, Emily tugged on the lapel of his jacket, bringing him closer. "Oh, yes. I twisted your arm and forced you into all of it."

"That's what I plan on telling my therapist."

She tilted her head, her lips only a breath from his. "You're too paranoid to have a therapist and is that really what's important right now?" She lightly pushed him back. "What else did Jack say?"

Nolan sighed as Emily took a step back from him; the woman could be a tease when the mood struck. It made her fun, it made her daring. The woman could weather any storm and walk away smiling. Still, he had no wish to repeat anything Jack had implied about her.

"He didn't say anything important." Nolan put his hand over her shoulder. "All you need to know is that he's upset with me, and he needs a few days to cool off."

Emily shook her head, "I should go talk to him, I could try to explain things-"

The man moved to block her way, "Emily, no. Listen, I don't want you to talk to him. Just...please, for me?"

_You never ask me for anything, I can do this for you but Nolan I have to know..._

She looked in his eyes, seeing a shade of hurt. Emily tucked her hair behind her ear as the wind picked up on the pier. "How bad was it, really?"

Nolan put his hand on the small of her back and lead her back toward the car. He didn't want to dwell on the argument but Emily deserved the truth...just not the full truth. He had to draw the line somewhere, and if he could protect her from Jack's accusation, then of course he would. Emily was his girl, after all.

"It wasn't some huge screaming match and I didn't pay him back for that sucker-punch he gave me when we first met, it didn't even last very long but...I told him if he didn't watch his mouth I'd call in his loan and wreck the bar." Nolan finished, shame rising over his conscience. It had seemed a fair thing to say in the heat of the moment, but as he'd had time to reflect, he only felt worse.

Emily took his hand, stopping him. "You said that?"

"I didn't say I was proud of it." He told her. "He just kept saying...I mean, was I just supposed to stand there and listen to him accuse me of trying to get at you right out of the hospital?"

"No, Nolan." Emily lifted her hand to stroke the nape of his neck. Her man had been wounded by a friend, accused of something close to rape. She gave what comfort she could. "He shouldn't have found out about us the way he did, maybe you were right and we should have told him, but to say you would do something like that - Nolan, he was just lashing out because he was angry, you know that."

He nodded, taking one of her hands into both of his. "I know. He hit a nerve."

"Like you said, we can give him a few days to cool off and then approach him to talk. I don't want to be the cause of any more trouble."

Nolan kissed her and pressed his forehead against hers, "Oh, come on. Babe, you're not just a cause of trouble, you _are_ trouble."

Draping her arms over his shoulders and kissing him once more, Emily smiled. "Every inch of me."

______________________________

Later in the week, Emily turned to Nolan as they walked down the pier, her sharp mind pinning his intent for their day out. "A boat ride?"

The man put his arm around her shoulders as they walked, following a small group of other affluent couples Emily recalled from Ashley's _Who's Who of the Hamptons_ webpage. After showing their tickets, they boarded the yacht and were soon out to sea.

Emily stretched her arms, enervated by the salty breeze, the cool air and bright sun lighting their faces. At her side, Nolan gripped the railing and looked down into the water, hoping they all might catch sight of dolphins - the brochure had mentioned that they sometimes swam along large boats while migrating.

"Yes ma'am, I didn't think Jack would appreciate my asking to borrow the _Amanda_ any time soon."

"Why, did you threaten to sink it?" Emily asked, teasing him.

In a twisted way, the woman wished she could have been there when Nolan threatened the Stowaway; to see her friend so angry would have been interesting, even arousing, if he'd been pulling rank with anyone else.

Nolan shook his head, thinking back. "Not since he sold it to me last summer."

"He sold it?" Emily asked, surprised.

Nolan leaned his elbow on the railing and put his other hand on the small of her back, steadying her as the boat hit a hard wave. "Yes. I gave it back to him, free and clear, but in the end it wasn't enough to keep the money-men off their backs. Before he died, Mr. Porter had asked me for a loan to keep the bank from taking the bar. Jack didnt know about it until after he died, when we were going over the paperwork. I knew it was a sore subject, so I never mentioned it until the other day."

Emily touched him, laying her palm flat over his chest. Her friend was not like her - where she had spent so many years trying to keep people at a distance, he had sought them out, a lonely man wanting real friendship. It might have been flattering to have two men fighting for her, if only they hadn't been so hurt by the fallout.

"Don't punish yourself, Nolan. If Jack felt he somehow had the right to say what he said, to accuse you, then it was only right that you remind him you've done his family a lot of favors and you've never asked for a thing in return."

"I didn't, did I?" He asked, giving voice to the doubt that had been nagging him since Jack's accusation.

"Didn't what?"

He took her hand, keeping his eyes steady on hers. "Take advantage of you after the fire."

"No, Nolan." Emily shook her head, hating that Jack had planted the idea in his mind. She would have confronted Jack herself, but she had given Nolan her word that she would stay away from the other man. "I know you would never have touched me if you thought I was vulnerable. You're not that man. You know that, I know that. Jack knows it too."

"Maybe he was right to be angry with us."

"So let him be angry, for a few days or a few years - either way, he has no right to that anger. It was one kiss, I never promised him anything." Emily shook her head, tempering her own rising anger that Jack would confront Nolan as if he'd somehow stolen her from him. "We can't change it now. Even if I could, I wouldn't take it back."

Nolan tilted his head, "Take what back?"

"Kissing you, coming into your room that first night." Emily stepped in close, twining her arms about his waist, hugging him, absorbing some of his heat for herself as a swift chill blew over them from the sea. "I couldn't let myself feel anything real while the Graysons were free - you brought me out of it after the fire." She took a deep breath, wishing she had a way beyond words to prove to him, "As messy as everything between us has been in the past, I wouldn't change a thing if it meant risking what we have now."

Nolan tightened his hold on Emily, and just like that, he gave no more thought to Jack Porter.


	23. Chapter 23

"Nolan...I...mmm."

Nolan covered her mouth with his own, silencing her with a deep kiss. She nipped his lower lip, surprising him. His hands spanned her waist, sliding lower to her hips, guiding her movements as she rolled into him, writhing against him harder, harder.

He loved to see her this way: undone, playful, and in their final moments, she became a wild thing. What was more, she sought the connection with him, keeping her eyes with his, opening herself to him.

Her legs wrapped around his waist, tightening her already impossible grip. "Mmm, God, Emily!"

It had been past midnight and Nolan had only been reading the news at the kitchen table when Emily, apparently feeling ignored, had stolen his tablet. He'd chased her, falling into her game and once he'd caught her, wasted no time in pulling her down to straddle his lap on the floor of his bedroom.

There had been no slow build, no romance. It was carnal, the animal instinct coming over them, Nolan thrilling in the role of the triumphant hunter as he'd hiked her skirt, torn away her panties and brought her down onto his swollen flesh.

Her nails dug into him, scoring his back, his chest and shoulders. She dragged her teeth over his throat, sucking his neck, groaning as his lips brushed her breasts, his hands tangling in her hair, pulling, drawing her head back to bring her mouth to his.

He growled as he felt her tighten around him, her arms twining over his shoulders, her legs clasping his hips. Nolan pushed Emily onto her back, driving into her with force, pulsing into her, their eyes locked as pleasure pounded through them, wrapping them in fierce heat.

They lay like that for several minutes, a sweaty mess, breathing hard and unable to form a word as their minds had gone empty, free of all thought. Eventually, Nolan found the strength to separate himself from her body, they both trembled as he did it, sliding his spent manhood from the grip of her most intimate muscles.

"I'll have to start ignoring you more often," he told her, smiling drowsily.

Emily stroked his arm, concern for him cutting through the afterglow. "I'm sorry I scratched you so hard - God, look, you're bleeding."

Nolan opened one eye to look down at his right shoulder, then down to his chest to see that, yes, Emily had scratched him bloody. Well, it was an unspoken compliment, really.

He caught her probing hand in his and kissed her palm. "Don't worry about it, a couple scratches is nothing. After this, I'll bet you a dollar we both look worse for wear tomorrow morning."

Emily bit her lip, kiss-bruised now from his attentions. Her body felt tender, the familiar ache was pulsing on her hips where strong hands had gripped held her. Since they began this affair, they'd both carried love-bites and bruises under their clothes.

"I'll take that bet."

The woman stood and Nolan sat up to watch as she crossed the room, headed toward her drawer in the dresser. Already he could see the marks he had made on her hips and neck; she brought the animal out of him, and he returned the favor to her if the scratches were anything to go by.

He glanced down and traced one of her scratches with his fingertip, feeling happy, fortunate and ready to curl up with her and go to sleep.

Emily pulled on a pale green chemise as Nolan fell into the sheets, only wearing her scratches to bed. He laid across the mattress, resting his head on her stomach. Her hands stroked through his hair and over his forehead.

"Nolan, I'm having another meeting tomorrow."

She went on stroking his hair, and knew that she was more content with him than she'd ever been in her life, save for those precious years in childhood.

When he'd asked his question, she had told him that if they had come together in any other way, it wouldn't be _them_. She stood by that, but knowing what she knew now, she might have gone to him when they'd both been younger. His love might have healed the ragged wounds she'd carried inside for the decade before they'd ever laid eyes on each other.

Vengeance had made her into a cold thing; cold in her fury, cold in her execution. Emily didn't feel cold anymore. She'd searched for her armor, that icy resolve...but it wasn't where she'd left it. Nolan, clever man, had hidden it from her and replaced it with warmth and fun, two things she'd forgotten over the years.

She looked at him, the naked man laying with his head on her belly, his skin marred by the knife and nails of his lovers and the fire of their shared enemy.

_Nolan Ross, I never thought it'd be you._

Nolan cleared his throat. "Small world, so am I."

"You are?"

"Mmm. I'll probably be in the city for most of the day. The house is all yours." He rolled over, rising up on his elbows and dipped his head, dropping a kiss on her satin-draped thigh.

"Thank you. Is everything all right with Nolcorp?"

"You know how it works, one minute it's up and the next minute it's down, then it's up again a second later. I'm just going in to show my face - I could handle it all from here but if I don't show up fairly often then people start to talk." He dragged his nails down her arm, only lightly, not even half as hard as she'd clawed him. "Besides, staying holed up in the house with you all the time is starting to make me look like a hermit."

"Since when have you ever cared what anyone thinks of you?"

"I don't, not really. It's still good to rally the troops though, it's good for office morale and looks good for visiting clients." He yawned.

Emily kissed his forehead. "Go to sleep, Nolan. We both have a big day ahead of us tomorrow."

______________________________

The next morning, Nolan wrapped up the first meeting of the day and sulked as he looked over the packed schedule waiting for him on his desktop. _I'll be lucky if I even have a spare minute to grab a sandwich._

His phone announced a text.

Emily had sent him a pic of the beach with the text line, _Wish you were here._

The man smiled, _Look at us - cuddling and texting like every other happy couple we've despised over the years._

He quickly tapped out, _It's not too late to join me for all the thrills of quarterly reports and future earning projections._

_No thanks. Join me in the pool when you get back._

_Rather join you in bed. ;)_

_Hurry home._

Nolan pocketed his cell and headed to the conference room, determined to get through the day as quickly as possible.

_____________________________

Hours later, Nolan sent his last e-mail and cracked his knuckles, sighing lightly. Turning to the window, he was startled to see that it was already early evening. He raised his brows as he checked his watch - he'd been at it for over eleven hours. Four in-person meetings, three international Skype conference calls, mountains of paperwork and even more e-mails to handle...just another day at the office.

He stood and stretched his arms, wincing in pained pleasure as the scratches from the night before pulled beneath his clothing. _Mmm, thank you, Ems._

The man reached for his cell and typed a quick message to her. _Wrapping up here - order in tonight?_

Emily hadn't answered his text from a few hours ago but he didn't think anything about it. She had a life; other than her revenge plotting, Emily had been active with several charities and historical preservation societies. She'd been slow in getting back to those neglected groups, but in the last week or so she had kept busy with meetings and conference calls.

Emily was a rare kind of woman to find in the Hamptons - driven, intelligent, charming. She had no interest in social climbing aside from meeting with the right people in power who could sign the ordinances to preserve a section of New York's historic district or protect a regal building from demolition.

Nolan had eavesdropped on a few of her meetings when she'd had her gaggle over to his house - to see her holding court, strategizing, leading the group in assignments...she was a reflection of Victoria in that way, all the good that Victoria could have accomplished if she'd only directed her social cunning toward causes of genuine importance rather than yacht parties and the downfall of empty-headed socialites.

 _Gotta love a gal with hobbies_ , Nolan though as he grabbed his keys.

He crossed his office and made it to the door, snapped his fingers in remembrance and returned to his desk. Fishing the Tiffany box from the drawer, he peeked at the golden locket and slipped it into his pocket.

Nolan wouldn't forget to give it to her again.

______________________________

The man strode into the house, his stomach growling, his thoughts leaning toward ordering Chinese. _Some Kung-Pow chicken, sweet-n-sour pork, egg rolls...and a movie with my best gal pal._

The lights were low as he made his way inside. He took the Tiffany box from his pocket, determined to finally give the thing to Emily already so he could stop kicking himself for being so forgetful; he'd left it in his luggage from the city for a few days after their return, carried it in his pocket during their boat ride, forgetting all about it and then he'd left it in his office for another week.

He tossed the box from one hand to the other, making a game of it as he thought to look for her in the backyard or in the upstairs bedroom but he started as he moved to cross the living room and saw her sitting on the floor, her back resting against the sofa. She was hugging her knees in close to her chest, it was clear she'd been crying.

Nolan felt his heart drop and he moved to her. "Emily? What happened in here?"

"I was careful. So careful…how did this happen?" She whispered as fresh tears welled in her eyes on seeing him.

Nolan touched her shoulder, fighting his rising panic. _The alarm never went off, if it had then the team would have been here to protect her - what the hell happened while I was gone?_

"Emily. Did someone...has something happened to you?"

She turned to him, her dark eyes swollen and unfocused. "Nolan. I'm pregnant…I…"

Her sobbed words made a slow sink to penetrate into Nolan's understanding.

_Preg-? Pregnant? She's pregnant! We're pregnant!_

A mass of joy unlike anything Nolan had ever known swelled in his chest, filling his heart to bursting. "You're – this is great!"

She looked up at him, "What?"

Nolan moved to kneel before her, and took her hands into his, surprising her by brushing his lips over her knuckles, a gesture of immense gratitude. The largest smile she'd ever seen split his face, and Nolan's eyes were suddenly threatening to spill tears as her own already had.

"Emily, I didn't think it could happen, but I've always wanted…and with you, this is amazing!"

"You're happy?" She asked him, disbelief coloring her words.

Nolan blinked at her question, the smile drifting from his face. "Am I-? Aren't you?"

Emily never thought that she would be in this position, never. But now, she was laid bare: as frightened as she'd ever been in her life. She wished her world was different, she wished she had parents to run to and she wished to God that Nolan wouldn't hate her when she told him…

Emily put her hands on his face, reaching to hold him this last time in case he pushed her away. "I…Nolan, you need to listen to me, please. This…it may not be yours…"

Her words again made the slow path through his mind, cutting through his happiness, infecting his joy with shock, uncertainty and yes, the fierce sting of betrayal. Realization swept through him, cold and black.

**Daniel.**

Emily had sent Nolan out of his own house that day so that she could be with Daniel.

She had never told him what happened that day, but he understood it now. The man took a deep breath and tried to be rational in the face of his rage, reminding himself that he had no right to feel betrayed, not when Daniel had come for Emily well before things between them had taken this turn.

_Keep it together, Nolan. Don't do something you'll regret._

He closed his eyes for a moment and took another deep breath. As much as he wanted to, Nolan couldn't lash out and strangle Emily right there on the living room floor.

_You knew she wasn't finished hurting you, but you let her in anyway._

He looked back at her and Emily was startled for a moment at how cold his eyes had become, but his hands, they reached to remove her hands from his face, holding both of them in his own, as gentle as they'd always been. Nolan blinked and buried his pain to tend to her; it was easy, he'd had years of practice.

Emily watched as Nolan seemed to search for the right words, her mind already racing with dread - after all that she'd put him through, and now this...?

He would send her away, she knew, and there would be no going back. She had broken them, shattering all that they were. _I'm sorry Nolan, I'm so sorry._

When the man finally spoke, his eyes had softened and his voice was gentle. He brought his hand up, pausing as she tensed, and swept it over her hair. "Emily…it might not be mine, but it could still be ours."

His words hung in the air, his statement clear.

Emily shook her head at him. "That's not fair to you, Nolan."

He wouldn't listen to her reasoning. Was he angry? Yes, deep within the man there was a cold rage awakening. Was he hurt by what she had done? A thousand times, _yes_. But Nolan wouldn't lose Emily and what might be his own child over his hurt feelings.

This was bigger than him now.

He reached over to pick up the forgotten gift he'd dropped on seeing her so upset, and looped the thin chain around her throat. Confused at the sudden appearance of the necklace, Emily touched the locket and opened it to see a restored David Clarke smiling back at her.

She reached for him, feeling emotion well inside of her – at once she was filled with sorrow, regret, joy and fear. "Nolan-"

"Don't, Emily. We can hash the details later." He said the words to her but he meant them for himself. His logic was resurfacing – he usually reserved it for decisions at Nolcorp, but he had to use it now. He could not let anger overtake him. It could still be his child within Emily and even if it wasn't...well.

A new mother should only be crying in happiness, he couldn't ruin this for her.

Nolan brought Emily into his arms, hugging her to him. "I can see the wheels turning in your head, Ems. Please, just for tonight, stop thinking. Take a deep breath and try to be happy."

The woman curled in his lap and buried her face in his neck. Her hands gripped his shoulders, seeking balance. "Part of me, I am happy...I just-"

"I know." He pulled back to look at her, and pressed his lips to her forehead, kissing her sweetly to reassure her. For the moment. "But for this, let yourself be happy. It may not be the way you wanted it, but you're not alone, Emily. Now, please smile for me."

She did as he asked, gracing him with a genuine smile. There was life was growing deep inside her body, making a woman of her. A child, a piece of her to live on, a small slice of her father that would see a new dawn.

But the child had an unknown father and thus an uncertain future.

"God, Nolan, what am I going to do?"

He took a deep breath, his chest rising against hers. "That's your choice, I can't tell you what to do. But whatever your decision, you need to see a doctor. I'll call Doc Thorton and see if he has time tomorrow." Nolan stood and then pulled Emily to her feet.

For a moment, they only looked at each other with their hands entwined. There were no right words to say, no reassurances, no jokes. Emily was raw with shock, her friend ragged with hurt, and the both of them torn in similar conflict.

Whose child was it and what would they do?

Nolan needed to be away from her, and without another word, the man left Emily to collect herself; he was numb as he walked upstairs to his room, reeling inside from the bomb she had dropped on him and the effort it had taken him to react as calmly as he had. Another man would have been furious, even violent...that wasn't Nolan's way.

He wasn't naturally aggressive or domineering - _alpha male_ would never describe him. In life, Nolan played to his strengths: cunning and wit, paired with a cruel edge if the occasion called for it, and a loyal sensitivity that sometimes caused him more trouble than he cared to admit.

Would his son inherit those traits - intelligence, a sense of humor, his kindness? Or was it a baby Daniel growing within her, a child that would grow to have Grayson ambitions that could swallow the world?

Nolan leaned forward, resting his forehead on the balcony railing outside of his bedroom. Anxiety was clawing its way through him and for a minute he thought himself on the verge of a panic attack.

_Emily, a mother? Would she even know how…? And me - I don't know what it takes to be a father._

A few deep breaths and he brought himself out of that hole of endless doubt. There wasn't time for that now, he had to handle this.

The man pulled out his cell and, with shaking fingers and an unsteady voice, arranged an appointment for Emily with Dr. Thorton. He was the only doctor who could guarantee complete secrecy – the man was beyond bribing.

_Before anything else, we have to be sure._

Nolan disconnected his call and looked out to the shore below his house. He could see a pair of joggers running along the shoreline below, and a lighted boat was out in the water - for a second he mistook it for the _Amanda_ , but then he saw that the sails were different.

_It wasn't supposed to happen like this._

The thought of children was bittersweet; as he had done so with the idea of marriage, Nolan had written it off for himself. He was already forty, but his age aside, children were a commitment meant for the stable and the unselfish. He was neither of those things…but like Emily, he would need to change, to evolve past the creature he'd been for the last two decades, lost to a love for material things, free of family and anything that mattered in life.

Nolan hadn't had a great role model in his own father, so he would have to borrow Emily's yet again.

_David asked me to look out for you, Ems...what would I be if I gave up on you now?_

As it had been with her vengeance, he couldn't let her go through this alone. As upset as he was, he knew Emily had to be terrified. His Ems, a mother - but a mother to whose child?

The man fought off a wave of disgust at the thought of Daniel having Emily under his roof. He wondered where in the house their little tryst had happened and quashed the sudden image of the two of them fucking in his bed. No. He wouldn't put it past Daniel if he'd been feeling the need to brand the woman, but Nolan knew that Emily wouldn't have shown him such disrespect.

It had to have happened in her room downstairs. Nolan didn't know why she'd kept him from the guestroom after the fact – he didn't know if it was a woman thing or an Emily thing, he wasn't sure. What he was sure of was that the lingering ghost of Daniel Grayson would be exorcised from his home. Nolan would be damned if Emily was going to remain surrounded in the other man's memory.

Soon enough, they might have the constant reminder of Daniel Grayson to share between them.

But the room…

_I'll have to do something about that._


	24. Chapter 24

The man climbed the stairs, putting distance between them, shellshocked. Emily stood where he left her, watching until he'd disappeared into his bedroom. Hard sobs welled inside and she sank down onto the sofa, stifling her cries, desperate to keep quiet.

Nolan had not been angry; he'd not shown her bitterness or disgust. He hadn't screamed at her to get out of his house and he hadn't raised a hand against her...it was what he had shown her before, his joy, that ripped into her with its savage truth.

She had told him of her pregnancy, and Nolan had been happy. More than happy, he'd had a look of such blessed gratitude on his face when he'd kissed her hand. "I've always wanted-"

Emily leaned forward to cradle her head in her palms. _What did you want, Nolan? I know it isn't this..._

No.

Nolan gave and gave and gave to her, and what had she given him in return for his loyalty? Bruises, scars and betrayal. She pressed her hand against her womb. It could be Nolan's, but there was still a chance it had come from Daniel.

Emily thought back to that afternoon with him and she shivered, feeling sick.

_Please, please, be Nolan's. I can't put him through anything else._

______________________________

The drive to the hospital was not long in distance, but to Emily it felt eternal thanks to Nolan's cold attitude. She had woken up in the guest room to the _ping_ on her cell phone, a text: **Dr appt 10am**

They didn't make breakfast, they hadn't even greeted each other over coffee. Emily had dressed in the guestroom, only emerging at 9:45 to find Nolan waiting on her in the driveway beside the car.

Wordlessly, they buckled up and began their drive.

Emily hated Nolan for his silence and his cold eyes, but she understood how angry he was, how hurt and humiliated he must feel. He'd shown such joy in those few moments when he thought they'd made a child together.

The man had never voiced a want for family before, but Emily knew him - even though their child came as a surprise, Nolan would be a wonderful father. She stole a quick glance at him as he steered the car down a turn in the road. She imagined he might be afraid; if the child was his, then Nolan didn't have to worry. He might not see it in himself, but Emily had always seen that Nolan was everything her own father had been: generous, protective, kind.

Unconsciously, Emily rested a hand over her womb, wishing with everything she had for it to be Nolan's seed within her. He had done everything in his power to help her over the last year, he'd earned the joy of having a child with the woman he loved.

Nolan parked and got out of the car, heading toward the main hospital building without a word to her. Clearly, he expected her to follow after him.

 _Maybe love is too strong a word, now._ Emily thought as she followed him, a half-step behind.

She stifled the upset building within her as they moved through the building and instead turned her attention to the task at hand. Her pregnancy had to be confirmed, as did paternity...after that, her mind raced because she had to make a plan in case...in case...

Nolan stood ahead, holding open the office door for her. Rather than walk past him, Emily stopped and put her hand over his, both relishing the warmth of his skin and regretting the tension she felt in his fingers. She looked into his eyes. It was the first time they'd looked directly at each other all morning.

"Thank you, Nolan."

For only the briefest of moments, he softened toward her - his eyes met hers, and he was on the verge of speaking, of saying something _real._ The hand beneath hers lifted, as if to turn and hold hers, but Nolan quickly steeled himself against whatever it had been that he wanted to say. The emotion was gone, vanished, his eyes were cold again as he drew back from her and straightened to his full height, shutting her out.

"They're waiting for us."

Emily nodded mutely and stepped into the office to sign in.

__________________________________

To Emily's relief, she was spared having to sit beside Nolan and endure his resolve against her in the waiting room. No sooner than she'd given her name to the receptionist, Dr. Thorton had appeared to shake first her hand, and then Nolan's.

"It's good to see you both so recovered." Sharp eyes fell to Nolan's arm. "Mr. Ross, how have your burns been coming?"

"As well as can be expected," he said evasively.

Nolan had not come to speak of his burns; his arm was healing very well, so well that he'd given up the bandages and felt confident that keeping the limb bathed in aloe would see him scarred, certainly, but no worse off than he'd been before the fire. The truth was, he rarely gave much thought to the injury anymore now that he wasn't in pain.

"Right then, well if you'll both just follow me back here," the doctor turned and lead them down a hallway toward a small lab. "Now, if I recall, you were just interested in a standard pregnancy test, yes?"

Emily nodded, "Yes."

As the doctor began to ask Emily questions about her last cycle, Nolan tuned out. It wouldn't serve him to know those intimate details, he didn't want to know about the female body's inner workings - and why should he? He'd never been in this situation before.

He only wanted to know that Emily was healthy and, if she truly was pregnant, he had to know with whose child. Everything else was private, just as he saw no need to treat her to the details of what went on during _his_ doctor visits - cough twice and bend over.

The doctor took out a needle and fixed it to a syringe meant to collect blood; Emily tensed and before he knew what he was doing, Nolan reached and took her hand. The woman glanced down to their suddenly laced fingers, then up to meet his gaze.

 _I'm scared,_ her eyes seemed to say.

Nolan nodded silently, tightening his grip on her hand. _I know. Me too._

If Dr. Thorton was aware of the silent speech taking place between them, he didn't acknowledge it as he withdrew the needle and slipped a band-aid over Emily's arm. He held up the little vial of blood that would give proof to her pregnancy.

"All right, that wasn't so bad, now was it?" He stood and Emily did the same. The doctor marked something on a form attached to his clipboard and held out a jar of candy toward her. "You did great, young lady - lollipop?"

She shook her head, giving the man a weak smile. "No thanks, you can give it to Nolan, though."

The doctor held the sweets to Nolan. "Mr. Ross?"

Nolan shook his head.

"No? All right, then."

Shrugging, the doctor set the candy aside and moved toward the door leading out of the small medical area. "Well, if there's nothing else I can do for you..."

Emily felt Nolan's posture go rigid with resolve, and she knew what was coming. He pulled his hand from hers, leaving her cold all over again. She suppressed the urge to shiver.

Nolan cleared his throat, "Doctor."

_I'm sorry Emily, I wish you didn't have to hear me ask for this. More than anything, I wish I didn't have to ask._

"Yes?"

"There's a question of paternity..."

The older man nodded once, and Emily felt relieved that he didn't try to clarify by asking more questions or show her a look of judgement. Clearly, there was some unspoken understanding between Nolan and the good doctor.

"I understand. Roll up your sleeve, please. I'll just need a small blood sample."

The doctor retook his seat and readied another needle and syringe, marking 'paternity test' on his form in comparing blood sample #1 to blood sample #2. Nolan sank down into the chair and gave the man his right forearm - his left had been through enough. "How long until...?"

"This usually takes five days."

Nolan fixed the doctor with a stern look. It wasnt often that he asked for special favors, but the man was certainly owed. "And how long for _us?"_

"I'll have the result delivered to your house tomorrow."

"Thank you."

The needle sank into Nolan's vein, taking his genetic signature for comparison with the child growing inside of Emily. Nolan stared at the vial as it filled with red life, and all his hope that he could call that child his own.

He felt Emily's small hand resting on his opposite shoulder and he turned his head, wanting to look at Emily, wanting - but the doctor caught his attention.

"Don't look so anxious, you two, tomorrow will be here before you know it."

__________________________________

They drove back to the house with only the crooning of Lana del Rey to fill the silence between them. Emily couldn't say anything for fear of losing herself in sobbing; she wanted to turn back time, to erase that stolen afternoon with Daniel and return happiness to Nolan, forging their connection by the life growing within her.

It could be his child; it was one stolen tryst with Daniel against the countless times she'd had Nolan...it had to be his. She had to see him happy again.

Nolan parked outside the house and removed the key from the ignition. They remained in the car, saying nothing. Emily wished he would smile, give her a joke or touch her hand. They had reconnected in the doctor's office, but that warmth had faded. Anything would be better than this, this heaviness between them. The man did not make an attempt to reassure her, he couldn't even look at her.

"Emily, I...I have something I need to look into. I'll be upstairs."

Nolan did not wait for her response, he only slipped out of the driver's seat, slamming the door behind him.

________________________________

Emily waited three full minutes before she got out of the car and entered the house. She wanted to give Nolan enough time to go on ahead of her and then lock himself in his room as he had the night before.

He wanted time alone to think his Big Thoughts, Emily understood that more than most.

She took a deep breath, ran her fingers through her hair, fluffing it a bit, and crossed into the house, coming into the kitchen through the garage. All desire for food had flown from her, but not from Nolan, apparently. He'd taken something from the refrigerator but hadn't bothered to close the door.

Emily closed up the refrigerator and sighed to herself. She could see his bedroom door on the upstairs landing, it was closed. She wondered how long he would keep himself locked up there, but then reminded herself that she had no right to demand that he come out and engage with her.

_When you're ready, Nolan, please come for me. Don't shut me out like this._

Emily took a water bottle, thinking to go in the backyard for a bit, but she headed to the guestroom to set down her purse first. Her purse in one hand, the water bottle in the other, Emily opened the door and dropped them both in surprise. "Oh!"

She blinked, startled for a moment and wondering if she'd walked into a different room. No, no, it was the guest room, Emily recognized the view from the bay window, if not the color of the walls, the furniture, the bed or the floor.

_Nolan, what did you do?_

All the windows were wide open, letting out the scent of fresh paint. Emily furrowed her brow, stepping inside for a closer look. The walls, once a soft vanilla cream, had been painted over with a mint green, adding colorful contrast against the wainscotting. Looking closer, she saw that even the wood had been changed; the chestnut panels had been ripped out and replaced with wide slats of polished mahogany.

Taking over the floor was a large rug that stretched from one end of the room to the other. Even new artwork colored the walls, but the bed was the greatest change of all. The pillowcases and blankets were different, brightly patterned eiderdown covers draped over black satin sheets, cradled into an ornate wrought iron bedframe.

The woman pressed her hand against the mattress to find that, yes, it had been replaced as well. Emily sat down on the new bed, looking about the guestroom, so changed now. Nolan had done this, ordered it all to be changed in the hour's length of time that they had been away from the house.

Emily wasn't upset at what he'd done – she wasn't even surprised.

Nolan was no longer a man to take disrespect lying down, not even from the memory of another man. He'd taken steps to absolutely obliterate the ghost of Daniel Grayson, right down to the carpet fibers the man had walked on.

Nolan had begged Emily for years to let go of her past, to finally let go of the Graysons. Now it seemed he'd taken an action to do it for her.

Emily couldn't thank him enough.

________________________________

Upstairs, Nolan looked over the half-crazed list he'd scrawled out, feeling like a damn psychotic for putting pen to paper on this subject in the first place.

1\. Bedroom (1)

2\. Living room (1)

3\. City weekend (4-7)

4\. Beach (1)

5\. Chair (2)

6\. Backyard (3)

7\. Bedroom floor (1)

On reviewing the list of the locations and times that he and Emily had completed the act that he could remember, Nolan raised his brows, more than a little impressed with himself. _Could she be right? Am I an addict?_ He wondered at the thought but then immediately shrugged off the idea. _No way, she doesn't know anything - I can quit whenever I want!_

He was lying to himself. If Emily were to come to him just then, wanting him, he would be helpless to refuse his attraction to her. Even with her child's true father in the balance, beyond his worries and hurt, Nolan wanted her.

Love was funny that way, he supposed.

Still, even with the odds so stacked in his favor, Nolan had to know. He'd never voiced objection to her relationship with the young Grayson before, he'd known from the beginning that Emily was only using him as her entry into the family. Daniel had just been a key, a stepping-stone to the proof of her father's innocence.

Nolan had never been jealous, only wary of how far Emily had been willing to go.

Things had changed since then, and as he paced, the thought of Emily with Daniel in his house...

Nolan knew it was sick, he knew Emily loved him and that whatever he saw wouldn't change anything-

And yet...

Swift fingertips swept over the surveillance tablet screen. His eyes found the footage he was looking for, dated weeks in the past. Nothing in the man wanted to see this, but he had to know.

He had to know. Everything in him was at war, demanding the truth and howling at the injustice that his happiness had been tainted in this way. When would it be over and things between them could just be easy?

Nolan's hand stilled, hovering over the main command. He knew that if he saw this, it would be in his mind, his memory...but he had to know, _he had to know that she didn't still love him._

Taking a deep breath, Nolan found his resolve.

"Let it play."

_______________________________

No expense had been spared in Nolan's security system - there was no grainy, grey scale footage here; everything played out before his eyes in full color HD, the audio crisp and precise.

Nolan sank down to sit on the edge of his bed, watching the scene play out through the eye of the camera hidden in the living room ceiling.

"Oh, you want to talk to him, huh? Fine. Take all the time you need, I'm going for a drink."

Daniel watched after him as Nolan stormed out, slamming the front door behind him as he left. A moment later the roar of an engine and the screeching of tires could be heard, followed by the angry honking of other drivers on the road outside Nolan's home.

"He's awfully protective." Daniel remarked as Emily moved to sit on the sofa.

"Yes he is." She said on a light sigh. "Don't tell me you're jealous."

"I wouldn't be if he was just gay, but he likes women too. And now you're living with him." There was a blatant insinuation in his choice of words

Emily gave him a withering look. "Your mother didn't leave me much choice, Daniel."

"Look, I know he says that he saved you-"

"You think he would lie about something like that?"

Daniel paused before answering her. "I think Nolan knows an opportunity when he sees one. Think about it, he tells this story and all of a sudden he's a big hero." He shook his head. "What have you two been doing all this time?"

"Recovering." She told him, her voice flat. "Thanks for showing your concern."

"You don't have to stay here with him. Come live with me in the manor."

"Where I'll have the perfect view of what's left of my house? No thank you."

Daniel sat down beside her and took her hand into both of his. Eyes narrowing at the screen, Nolan could see that his grip was tight. "Emily, please, let me make this right."

She pulled her hand from his, frustrated now. "What do you think you can do, Daniel? Your mother tried to _kill_ me – there's nothing you can do or say or give to make this right!"

Daniel speared fingers through his hair, upset. "I know…I just…God, I don't know how we got here!" He took her hands again, imploring her, "Emily, all I wanted was for us to have a life together-"

Nolan's hands tensed on the tablet as he watched Emily lean toward Daniel, her hands lifting to cup the younger man's face, one hand stroking his cheek and temple. "That's all I wanted since the night you proposed but your family – Daniel, your family is poison and you can't let them go, you're becoming just like them, I've seen it." She leaned in, pressed her forehead to his. "I can't be with you, Daniel. I won't."

The woman stood, turning from him, heading toward the guest room. Clearly, she expected Daniel to show himself out of the house and out of her life for the final time.

Nolan tapped the command to switch cameras, moving perspective now to the eye in the guest room ceiling.

Daniel strode into the room after her, grabbing Emily's arm, turning her to him and dropping his head to kiss her. Emily did not fight the man, but she was not responding to him either. Emily was being passive - distancing herself from what was happening.

Nolan watched, his vision blurring.

Daniel pushed Emily back onto the bed and, quickly, so quickly, Daniel was inside, rocking his hips into her. Nolan strained his ears, but there, just under Daniel's panting, he could hear a small voice, "Daniel, Daniel, stop."

The man did not respond, he was too far gone. A man lost to pleasure, to the return of comfort from the one woman he'd truly loved.

Moments later, when it was over, Emily pulled away as Daniel adjusted himself and zipped his fly.

"This shouldn't have happened."

Daniel looked up, the contentment slipping from his expression, dread taking its place. "You don't mean…?"

Emily stood and pulled the long shirt down to cover herself. "This doesn't change anything, Daniel. You shouldn't have come here."

Daniel stood, his hands grasping at her, cupping her shoulders then moving to her face, trying to kiss her, his movements becoming increasingly desperate. "Emily, please, we can still get away from all of this – anywhere you want!"

Emily pulled from him, "No, Daniel. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let this happen. You should go. Please, just go."

_______________________________

Nolan watched as Daniel stormed out of the house, then swept his fingertip over the screen, drawing the footage forward, slowing for a moment to watch as Emily threw herself into the steam of the shower she'd meant to take before Daniel's arrival, scrubbing herself raw.

He watched until he saw his own return to the house, so happy to see that Emily had chosen to remain with him rather than run off with young Grayson. He'd loved her even then, he supposed. There they were, dancing in the living room - him so happy and her so relieved to have finally freed herself from Daniel. Or so she thought.

Nolan threw the tablet against the nearest wall, unconcerned as the thing left scatter of glass shards and circuits all over the floor.

The man remained, lacing his fingers and leaning forward as if in prayer. It was not to a god that he turned his thoughts; he didn't hold faith toward what couldn't be proven. He dealt in facts and the facts were these: Emily was pregnant. Emily was afraid. The child she carried may not be his, but Emily was. It would take a day before the truth came out.

Nolan knew there was a choice he had to make, he could only hope his gamble would pay off in the end.


	25. Chapter 25

Emily awoke in the unfamiliar surroundings of the guest room, its new colors confusing her but only for a moment. She blinked, and she knew where she was, who else was in the house and that today would change everything.

Today the results would be delivered, the news that she was either carrying Nolan or Daniel's child. She hated herself for not knowing who the father was, never in a hundred years had she thought she'd find herself in such a position. It was vulgar, it was irresponsible, it was...everything that Emily Thorne wasn't.

But then perhaps that's why it had happened. She hadn't been Emily Thorne since the fire. Ever since Nolan had brought her home, she had let her guard fall away, indulging in trust, in humor, in fun and in pleasure, all because her vengeance had found its quick end with the Graysons' exposure to the world.

_That's why I let Daniel have me one last time - it was supposed to be goodbye, a close to everything that was before and a start to the new life..._

And Nolan.

Emily could hear him moving about in the living room and kitchen, she covered her mouth to muffle her cries. That man wasn't her ally, he was her victim. How many times had he been hurt by her over the last year? How much more suffering could he stand?

She pressed her hands to her belly, her thoughts directed toward _it_ , the tiny life within.

_If you are Daniel's, I can love you with all I have...but Nolan doesn't have to pay for my mistakes anymore._

Emily stood and began to change her clothes, rallying herself to face the day, whatever it may bring.

When she emerged from her room, dressed in trim jeans and a lace top, Nolan was already sitting behind the bar. He looked tired; there were dark circles ringing his eyes and he was still wearing his clothes from the day before.

Nolan waved her over to join him at the bar and she could see why: there was a plain white envelope on the counter before him.

_It's here already? I thought I'd have more time..._

He glanced down to it, then back to her. "A courier just dropped this off. Do you want to open it or should I?" He asked, cutting to the chase.

Emily didn't trust her shaking hands. "I think you should."

Not arguing, Nolan stripped open the envelope and removed one sheet of folded paper. Emily watched as his eyes skimmed it, his expression stoney. After five seconds, very carefully, he refolded the paper and slipped it back into the envelope.

"Well, Ems, it seems that you are the proud new owner of the latest Grayson heir."

The ground tilted beneath her feet and Emily sank into a chair, not bothering now to hide her tears. With him, she could allow herself to cry. "This can't be happening. It was supposed to be yours."

He came to her, quickly, kneeling before her and cupping her shoulders. Gone was the cold man from the day before, Nolan had returned to her, deeply shaken himself. He had wanted the child to be his, but the proof was there in print; he was not the father, and this was their new reality.

"I know, Emily. I wanted it to be mine, you have no idea how much I wanted this..."

Emily looked up, meeting his eyes. "Nolan...I'm not getting rid of it, I can't - I won't do it, not even for you."

He shook his head, lightly touching her face. "I would never force you to make that decision Emily, please tell me you know that. I might hate this situation but I would never make you choose between me and that baby." Nolan dipped his head to her shoulder, ashamed of his tears. "I wanted it to be mine, Emily, I did, maybe a part of me always wanted that, but I should have seen this coming. We were too happy, things were going too well to last..."

Through the madness, they actually shared half a laugh at the situation - that they had finally found a measure peace and happiness with each other, only to have a new complication arise from their past involvement with the Graysons.

Emily had not wanted to think of this, of the heartache that would come of learning the child belonged to Daniel Grayson. She had formed a loose idea the day before, when Nolan had been so cold in his anger, when she had felt so alone.

_I have other identities, I can be five other women or I can stay Emily Thorne - I have more than enough money to take off, more than enough to start a new life here in America, or Europe, Asia, wherever and whatever it takes...but I can't keep hurting you, Nolan..._

Emily lifted her hands to his face, "I'll go, Nolan. You don't deserve this - I'll go, and you won't have to worry." He shook his head but Emily pressed on, "Listen to me, after today you won't have to think about me again."

Nolan pulled her hands from his face, holding them in his own. The coldness had fled his eyes, burned away by fierce defiance of her words. "Emily, I'm only going to say this once. Don't even think about running away again - it won't be like last time. Last time, I let you go and I won't make that mistake twice. Besides, I'm a tech genius with a lot of free time on my hands - how far do you think you'd get before I caught up and brought you back home?"

That he could dictate to her in one moment and be so flippant in the next was uncanny, but that was Nolan. He may be clownish in his threats but he had proven himself to her tenfold.

He stood from her and rubbed at his face, swiping away the remaining tears, regaining himself. Admittedly, he was the more emotional one between them, but only by comparison to Emily. He'd had enough tears and anxiety to last him the rest of the year, he was ready to move forward and if that meant he had to put his foot down to the little woman, then so be it.

_I won't make you choose, I won't let you run away again. We need to put our heads together on this if we're going to get through it._

Emily stood as well, "But Nolan you don't have to-"

"No. Stop. I won't listen to anymore of this, do you understand me? If you think I'm going to let you just give up on this then you're crazier than I am." He grasped her upper arm, determined to stop this idea she had to leave him.

Emily stared him down, keeping her voice level. "Nolan, you're hurting my arm."

The unspoken warning was clear, _You have three seconds before I break your wrist._

Nolan let go of her, knowing he'd crossed the line. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...I'm sorry."

Emily shook her head. "I know you didn't. I need some air, some time to think."

"Don't leave." He warned.

"I won't. I'll be in the backyard."

Nolan nodded and watched her go outside before moving to the bar, dragging himself to sit atop a barstool and pressing his forehead to the counter.

He hadn't meant to grab her that way, it was only that he was upset; learning the child wasn't his, then Emily's assumption that he would demand she terminate the pregnancy immediately followed by her intent to leave...it was a little much for a man to deal with at 10:30 in the morning.

He took a deep breath, pulling himself together. _This is only overwhelming if we let it overwhelm us. Think. You know what has to be done._

They had faced down danger before, they'd dealt with loose canons, hired guns, corrupt businessmen and socialites crazed with their lust for power. They hadn't gone through all that just to shatter over this; Nolan wouldn't let Emily give up, he wouldn't let her be alone.

_I thought it over last night, I just have to make her see..._

Nolan went into the kitchen and poured two glasses of orange juice, nixing the idea of adding a splash of vodka. No. That would be the first thing to change. He looked over the layout of his house, noting the vast amount of baby-proofing he was in for, but it was either that or buy a new place, an idea that held no appeal for him. For better and for worse, this was home.

The man stepped outside, squinting against the bright summer sun.

He found Emily sitting on the bench swing he'd had installed under the shaded awning at the far edge of the yard. As a surprise nod to her father, Nolan had had what he dubbed the "Clarke family crest", the double infinity, carved into the arm rest. Emily had been tracing the symbol with her fingertips when he approached.

"Nolan?"

He handed her a drink and moved to sit beside her on the swing, though he kept his feet on the ground rather than curl his legs up to his chest, as she had. "No vodka, these are just OJ. Can't have the kid growing up thinking a screwdriver is part of a balanced breakfast."

"Why are you doing this?"

Nolan took a deep breath, laying it out to her. "When you first told me and I thought it was mine, I was happy. For one second, there was nothing wrong in the world because we made something together...but that's gone now." He sighed and gestured toward the house, to the paper therein. "Now, the truth is right there in black and white. It's a baby Grayson and the next thing I know you're talking about running away to have it by yourself."

Nolan didn't care that she carried Daniel's child. He tried to quash whatever disappointment he felt, and turned his thoughts to the happier fact that he would be a father in every way that mattered. He didn't want to pressure Emily but by the same token it would crush him if she were to leave now.

He hated it, but he didn't know if he could trust her yet not to pick up and leave in the middle of the night, disappearing the same way she had all those years ago. She had a tendency to run when she felt overwhelmed, and she somehow always justified it as a way to protect others. Selfish.

Nolan sank into his thoughts, thinking of everything he wanted to do for _his_ \- he refused to think of it as Daniel's – child with Emily.

"You don't have to leave. I…I want you to stay here."

Her eyes seemed to search his. "For how long?"

"For as long as it takes."

"Until the baby comes?"

The man took a deep breath. For this, he found courage. "Until the baby comes, and after that. Emily, I think we could make a family."

"What?"

He took her hands, fighting the impulse to break his gaze from hers. No. For this, he had to show her his honesty. "I know this isn't what you expected, and it's not how I wanted things to turn out either, but here we are. I know I'm good for you and I think I could be a good father."

"You don't have to do this." She tried to pull her hands away but his long fingers tightened over hers.

"Maybe I want to. Maybe we could make it work."

_Maybe, maybe, maybe…_

"I can't ask you to give up the chance to be with someone else, to start a family of your own."

At that, Nolan scoffed. "I think that ship has sailed, Ems. Who am I going to find that'd just want me for me?"

It was a sad truth, but a truth nonetheless. No matter who he might meet in the future, Nolan would forever carry the suspicion that all anyone saw when they looked at him were dollar signs.

"I could say the same thing." Emily returned.

She was, after all, only a few billion behind him in the wealth race.

"I found you." He reminded her. "You're not…thinking about going back to Daniel because of this, are you?"

He knew the answer, he just had to hear her say it.

"No."

"Then stay here. We can try."

"It's Daniel's."

"And you'll tell him. You'll tell him because he has a right to know about this." Nolan sighed, musing. "Daniel Grayson, a father."

Emily reached forward, touching his hair. "I wish I could go back and change what happened, Nolan. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

He shook his head, dismissing it. "So am I. But it doesn't change anything. Not for me. We can make this work, Emily. I know you don't want to give up what we have, and I'm here to tell you that you don't have to."

"Nolan…if you're sure."

"I am."

______________________________

After, Emily rested her head on Nolan's chest. "Dad would've been happy for us, don't you think? His daughter and his friend, together."

Nolan yawned and drummed his fingertips on the curve of her hip. "Mmm, I don't think he'd be thrilled with the path that got us here, but yes, he would've been happy for how we ended up."

She was quiet for the next half hour as they simply laid together, enjoying the afterglow of their gentle afternoon connection.

"Nolan, if it's a boy…

"He'll be little David. That goes without saying." He purred to her.

Hours later, as Emily slept on at his side, Nolan laid awake, staring at the ceiling. He was prone to insomnia even when he wasn't stressed by one thing or another and now, he doubted he'd ever sleep again. He had once been told by his own father that "A dad never really sleeps": from the moment of fatherhood, a man's mind is to remain restless, always alert to the needs of his family.

Well.

Nolan's father had never been abusive, more negligent and dismissive. Nolan grew to understand that his father had suffered PTSD from time served in his lengthy military career, but he'd been resentful for years. His father was also dead. Any reparation of family ties was no longer an option, so Nolan was more or less on his own.

He thought that was all right; he knew what not to do. Unlike his own father, he had no excuse not to take an interest once the child was born. Unlike Conrad, he hadn't fallen for the cuckoo trick of raising another man's kid - he intended to go ahead with his eyes wide open.

He knew it would be an adjustment, but the more he thought about it, the more Nolan warmed to the idea of he, Emily and the child forming a family. His house would be the Island of Misfit Toys - none of them would belong anywhere else but with each other.

Slowly, Nolan reached under Emily's camisol and put his hand over her belly. It was far too soon for any change in her figure, and even sooner for there to be any movement. Still, he placed his hand there, his thoughts toward the child growing within her sealing his promise.

_You should have been mine, but I won't punish you for that._

______________________________

The car pulled to a stop along the curb, shadowed by the might that once was: Grayson Global. People were still filing into the building as if it was any other day, as if the founding family hadn't gone completely off the rails and that their investors weren't pulling out in a mass exodus. Nolan knew; it was all there in the files Ashley had provided.

The man looked away from the building, to Emily seated beside him. Her breathing was deep and steady, her hands weren't shaking and she wasn't sweating. This was not to say she wasn't nervous; Emily might not show it, but she had to be feeling some measure of anxiety.

She was minutes away from explaining to a man she no longer cared anything for that she was pregnant with his child. What Daniel Grayson would do would be anyone's guess.

"Are you ready?"

Emily took a deep breath and looked to him, "I think so. I was more afraid to tell you than I am to tell him."

"Why?"

Emily paused for a moment, but kept her eyes steady on his. "Because there was the real risk of losing you. I tell Daniel, and it changes things but I can go on without him. I never needed him."

 _Not like I need you,_ was the silent completion to her thought. Theirs was not a connection based on "I love yous", hearts and flowers. Deeper than the words, deeper than the touches, there was loyalty and their connection with each other.

The man raised his brows, "Oh, wow, Ems...I didn't know I ranked so high."

She quirked her lips, wishing that they were far from this place. "The highest."

"Call me when you finish, I won't be far."

Emily surprised him by grabbing his face and giving him a deep, charged kiss.

Before Nolan could pull her back, the woman had already slipped from the car, her stride eating the distance to the building entrance.

Shivering from the kiss, Nolan pulled out his cell and hit a speed dial command.

"Good morning, Mr. Ross."

A subtle frown crossed his face. "You won't think it's so good after I explain why I'm in the city today."

"What do you need, sir?"

He watched as Emily disappeared into the Grayson Global building and drummed his fingertips over the steering wheel. "I need a face-to-face. Today. Now, if you can."

"Yes, sir. Of course. I can meet you if you're-"

"No, I have my car and I'm about three blocks away. Let me take you to breakfast."

"All right, I'll grab my purse and be waiting for you just out front."

______________________________

Denise Walker glanced down at the open toes of her new pumps as she stood near the curb in front of the building that housed Lennox & Associates. She had worked for the firm for the past ten years, and acted as the personal attorney for Nolan Ross for the better part of her tenure there.

Of all her clients, Mr. Ross was certainly not the most demanding, the most eccentric or the most troubled. Nolcorp had its own team of lawyers, as all large companies do. No, her responsibilities to Mr. Ross were more personal. He kept her on a massive retainer to clear the occasional speeding or parking ticket, and for her immediate availability, be it over the phone, through Skype or in the flesh for legal advice. Hence, when Nolan Ross asks for a face-to-face meeting, her schedule for the morning is cleared and she is there, ready and waiting for whatever he could need.

_It's been nearly two years since the last time I saw that man, what could be so important that-?_

Her thought was interrupted as Nolan pulled up to the curb, and there he was, eyeing her from the driver's seat. "Is that you, Denise?"

She nodded and smiled to him, "It's really me, sir."

"Good. Get in."

She slid into the passenger seat and buckled up as Nolan pulled into traffic. "You look different from the last time I saw you. Your hair was longer then."

Eyes fixed on the street, Nolan shrugged. "Yeah, it was time to grow up a little and part of that was to go ahead and get rid of the shaggy prep look. How's your family?"

"Very well sir, thank you." She'd always appreciated his concern, not to mention his assistance with her son's education. "May I ask where we're going?"

"Breakfast." Nolan said tersely as he realized his own hunger. "I don't think I've eaten since...I don't know. It's been a couple days."

At that, Denise had to ask, "You haven't eaten in over two days?"

"I'm pretty sure, I mean that would explain the dizzy spells." He shook his head, "I'll be fine, I just have to find somewhere to eat that's close. I can't drive too far from Grayson Global."

"May I ask why?"

"It's a long story, and it'll be better told over eggs." Nolan parked on a sidestreet and guided her into a small diner that catered to the business crowd that swarmed the area during lunch hour.

Denise set her purse and cell aside in the boothe Nolan chose and simply waited as he looked over the menu. Now that she faced the man, she could see for herself how tired his eyes were, how grim his expression. This was a far cry from the carefree man she remembered.

Denise Walker was many things, but above all, she was a professional. Nolan Ross was her client, so she did not badger or complain when he ordered a mountain of salted grease and sugar for his breakfast, nor did she hurry the man as he dug into the meal. She sipped her coffee, ate her cinnamon bagel and waited; it had to be a heavy thing to bring on their first in-person meeting in two years.

Finally, after three scrambled eggs, four pancakes drowned in syrup, a slice of buttered toast, two sausages and a tall glass of orange juice, Nolan felt close to human again and was ready to talk.

Denise sat up straighter when the man set his fork aside. He took a deep breath, "Denise...I'm going to be a father."

Of all the things she thought he might tell her, this had not entered into her mind. "Oh, Mr. Ross, that's wonderful news! Congratulations-"

Nolan blinked tiredly, "You know, you're the first person I've told."

"Me? Why's that?"

"My family is few and far between. Anyway, this is...it's complicated."

Her happiness for the man dimmed somewhat. She saw now that this wasn't a visit for him to announce a new addition to the Ross family, he needed immediate legal counsel.

"Tell me everything, sir."

And so Nolan did, the edited version of the tangled web that wove its way between Emily, the Graysons and himself.

"...and she's over at Grayson Global now, telling him about the baby. Maybe we should have talked to you about all of this first, but Daniel should know, don't you think?"

Denise nodded, silently assessing everything he'd told her. Clearly, the situation with the Grayson family had escalated; he'd already hinted to her that an affair had sprung from his time spent with Miss Thorne but this development added a new dynamic to everything going forward.

"It's better that Mr. Grayson is aware, better to have it out in the open between the three of you now rather than for him to learn of the pregnancy later on, in which case he could file for custody or, if he were to take action after the child is born, file a restraining order against you."

Nolan raised a brow, "He could do that?"

Denise laced her fingers before her, as if in prayer. Nolan hoped they weren't that desperate just yet. "He could order a DNA test and, on proof that the child is biologically his, yes, he could file for immediate paternal custody with a restraint stipulation against you, preventing you from further contact with the child. If you had decided not to tell him and he were to learn that you had been aware of the child's true paternity from the start he could even launch a kidnapping charge."

"You're serious?"

"This is all worst case scenario, sir." She reassured him. "At this point we need to hear back from Miss Thorne about Mr. Grayson's reaction. Perhaps a bit later in the month we could have a meeting with his attorney and agree to a custodial balance between the three of you."

Nolan groaned slightly, "Yeah...that will be a problem - I can almost guarantee that Daniel won't be thrilled to know I'll be involved in the kid's life."

"Why's that?"

"I...I might have..."

"Mr. Ross, if there has been some kind of altercation between you, I will need to know about it in case it comes up later in dealing with Mr. Grayson on your behalf."

Nolan sighed and rubbed his face. He was so tired, and he was not proud of what he had done, but he had to tell Denise to keep it from coming back and biting him or worse, hurting Emily. "Remember last month when Daniel was arrested on a drunk and disorderly charge?"

"Yes sir."

"Yeah, there's more to it than what went into the police report and what was on the news. Daniel didn't get to where they found him on his own..." Nolan cleared his throat. "By that I mean my security team might have orchestrated the whole thing under my orders as payback for my arm and everything that family has done to Emily. So..."

On hearing this, Denise rubbed her temple, reigning in the impulse to reach across the table and shake some sense into this man. "All right...I'll spare you the lecture. If Mr. Grayson has not attempted to press charges against you yet, it's unlikely that he could do so in future as there would be no way to prove it - and I assume that your security team will remain discreet?"

Nolan nodded. "Yes, we're covered."

"He might bring up the incident but all that would accomplish is bring more attention to his own lengthy trouble with the law, compared to your clean record. What you've told me of Miss Thorne's time in juvenile detention will remain negligible as the incident stemmed from self-defense as a minor. In any case, it will come down to an agreement struck between Mr. Grayson and Miss Thorne, and I'll be happy to represent her if that's what you require."

Nolan took her hand, thankful, so thankful for her intelligence and her reassurance. "I require all the help in the world. But for now, let's stick with finding a way for Emily, the baby and I to just be together without Daniel's interference."

"You've hired me to keep a Grayson away from something that belongs to him."

Nolan gave a wan smile. "See? I told you meeting with me would ruin your morning."

She shook her head, legal steps already forming in her mind for anything the Grayson camp might send their way. "On the contrary sir, I love a challenge. If I pull this off, I might have finally earned that vacation you've been promising me."

"Denise, if you can pull this off I'll buy you your own island."

_______________________________

The hustle of people striding in and out of the Grayson Global offices was familiar to Emily. As Daniel's fiancé, she had visited him at work a scatter of times in the past. No one stopped her as she walked closer to Daniel's office, though she wasn't sure if it was because she was recognized for her former connection to him or because every worker on the floor was so wrapped up in trying to save their jobs.

Grayson Global had already gone through a round of lay-offs and it was no secret that jobs were scarce in the city; there was desperation in the air, Emily knew the signs and so she had to wonder how many people in the office were trying to save Grayson Global and how many were sending out their resumés.

There was no one at the reception desk before Daniel's office, so she let herself in, and there he was. Daniel Grayson, dressed in a $10,000 looking tanned, toned and as handsome as he was on the day they'd first met - when he was part of a plan...though, Emily supposed that's what he was to her again, a puzzle piece she had to turn in just the right way to keep him from interfering in her life going forward.

Emily came closer to him, the small smile touching her lips hiding the trepidation she felt beating in her chest. This was not her vengeance, this was nothing she had ever thought to prepare herself for, but her skills were still useful.

"Daniel, hello."

Daniel looked up, puzzled for a moment but he smiled as he stood to greet her. She forced herself not to turn away when he kissed her cheek.

"Emily, hey, what're you doing here?" He was uncertain, given how they'd last parted ways.

"I...I was hoping that I could talk to you." She gestured to the desk before his office. "I'm sorry to have let myself in here, but there was no one at reception."

He shrugged, "Yeah, as you can see, things have been kind of crazy around here. I had to send Jackie to grab a few files for me from the archives."

"It looks a little crazier than usual." She remarked.

Daniel followed her gaze out to the main floor, where the cubicles seemed to stretch for miles to a constant symphony of ringing telephones and anxious chatter. It was chaotic when compared to the way things were when his father ran the company and Daniel damn well knew it.

He wanted to confide in someone but most especially her. In his heart of hearts, Emily was still the one for Daniel Grayson, for whatever that was worth now. "We...a couple weeks back, some files went missing - client access, major account holders and all their assets. Just what we need on top of everything else." Daniel rubbed at his eyes, frustrated. "Sorry, what did you want to talk about?"

Emily rallied herself, "I have to tell you-"

A third presence in the room stopped her, Daniel's receptionist, Jackie, had return to her post. "Mr. Grayson, excuse me, but I have that message from your mother's defense lawyer."

Daniel took the notice and Emily watched on, silently, as Daniel's expression became stormy, his face coloring with new frustration. Emily could see that he was close to buckling under the weight of the world that had been thrown onto his shoulders. She felt sorry for him, but this was the price he paid for the sins of his family; she had paid for a decade after her father had been taken from her, it was Daniel's turn to suffer.

"Emily I - Emily, are you still on good terms with Nolan?"

Her eyes widened in surprise, "Nolan? Yes, I'm still living with him."

Daniel looked up, surprise clear on his face, "You've been staying with him all this time? So what he said was true, you are with him now."

"We're - wait, when did you talk to him?"

"I went to that Nolcorp party to try talking to you but your new boyfriend got jealous and kicked me out." Daniel groused, rolling his eyes.

"I had no idea about that. And he's not my boyfriend."

Emily added that last to gauge Daniel's reaction, true, but she had never liked that label, especially since Nolan was decades past being a boy.

"Oh, he's not?"

She shook her head. "He just wanted me as his plus-one for that party."

That much had been true, what happened later that night was no business of Daniel's.

"That makes more sense, I knew he was a little too... _you know,_ to be with you." Daniel had given her a limp-wristed wave in describing Nolan, alluding to the other man's sexuality and perceived weakness.

A roaring lion of rage welled up inside Emily, but Daniel had already gone on, "Anyway, if you didn't know he had me kicked out of the party then I'll bet you also had no idea he's scheduled to take the stand and testify against my mother when the trial starts?"

Emily pushed the lion back into its cage, her mind caught up by the new development. "What?"

"It seems that he's dead-set on sending my mother away." Daniel sat on the edge of his desk, his frustration mounting, making him desperate, desperate enough to ask, "Emily, Emily, I know you hate her and a part of me hates her too, for everything she's done to us, please believe that. But this is my mother...God, please, you can help me - Nolan will listen to you. Just...if you could convince him to recant his story..."

Emily pulled back, "Convince him...?"

Daniel's eyes were full of self-loathing as he plead to her, "He'll listen to you if you make him think you...please, Emily, whatever you can do to convince him. Please, for me. And then, after, when this is all over, you and I, maybe we can start again..."

Emily felt a wave of nausea that had nothing to do with her pregnancy. It was Daniel Grayson, he was making her sick.

"Daniel...I have to go."

"Please, Emily, just think about it."

Emily did not pause at the doorway as she left the office - she strode away from Daniel and all that he was.

______________________________

Nolan looked up from his cell as Emily opened the car door and sank into the passenger seat. The man had just come back from breakfast, worried but eager to hear what Emily had to say so that he could relate it all back to Denise. He looked closely and was relieved to see that her eyes weren't red; if Emily hadn't become upset while meeting with Daniel then things might go their way during mediation.

"So, how'd it go? Did he say anything about custody? My lawyer said she'll represent you in-"

"I didn't tell him."

Nolan raised his brows, "What?"

Emily shook her head, not caring about consequences, not caring for anything but putting as much distance as possible between Daniel Grayson and her family.

"I didn't tell him. I couldn't. Nolan...I don't want him anywhere near our baby. Please, I just want to go home."

At her words and by the steel in her eyes, Nolan had sense enough not to argue.


	26. Chapter 26

Rather than drive her to the Nolcorp helipad where they would board a chopper and return to the Hamptons, the Rossmobile braved the midday traffic of Manhattan toward the building that housed the best view of the city. Emily didn't say anything as Nolan parked in the underground garage or during the elevator ride up to his penthouse.

Nolan could feel the tension radiating off of Emily and he wasn't sure what to make of it. He'd taken her into the city for the express purpose of telling Daniel the news of his surprise fatherhood, but somewhere in the half hour that Emily had spent in the company of young Grayson, she had changed her mind and kept silent.

Nolan unlocked the door, letting Emily into the penthouse first. He set his keys aside and watched as she stalked over to the living room windows to ponder the view. Had things been different, he would have left her alone to think, but he was in this with her now.

"So," he broke into the silence, "Do you want to tell me what happened up there?"

"No."

He was not impressed with her flat reply.

"Come on, Ems." He came in close and nudged her ribs, "My lawyer just finished telling me I'd be risking a kidnapping charge by keeping the kid a secret. Spill it, why didn't you tell Daniel about his baby?

Emily rounded on him, her eyes on fire. "It's not his baby!"

Nolan raised his brows at her outburst. "Whoa. Dial down the hormones, little mama."

The woman smoothed her hands over her hair, embarrassed now. "I'm sorry, I just...what he said about you and what he wanted me to do...I don't want to see him again and I'll never let this baby turn out to be anything like that family."

Nolan nodded and moved to sit on the beige sofa, motioning for her to sit beside him. She ignored his silent invitation, the tension keeping her on her feet. He sat back and watched her pace.

"Wait a sec, how did I come up in your conversation? Does he think it's mine?"

"I didn't tell him I was pregnant. And I don't want to repeat what he said about you."

"Whatever he said, I'm sure I can take it."

Emily took a deep breath, "He just, he didn't think you and I were together because he thinks you're..."

Here she imitated Daniel's limp-wrist wave in regard to Nolan, hating Daniel anew for being so flippant in his cruelty. He would stand with his family after learning the truth of what had been done to her father, to all those people on Flight 197, he would take up the reigns to a corrupt company, and he would insult the only man who had ever truly loved her.

_No. Daniel will never even see this baby._

Nolan rolled his eyes on seeing the gesture. "Ah, I remember that one from the jocks in high school."

Emily grit her teeth, trying to reign in her anger. "Daniel wanted me to try seducing you as a way to convince you to recant your testimony against Victoria."

"A move right out of his mommy's playbook, how cute. Well, I hope you let him know that we're way past that at this point." He flashed a grin to her and spread his arms along the back of the sofa. "You can seduce me if you want, I'll never turn you down, but I'm not helping him."

Emily crossed her arms, still pacing back and forth before him. "I didn't tell him about us. He thinks we're just roommates, not...whatever this is."

"Is this your way of fishing for an official commitment, Ems?"

Emily eyed him, "Would you give me one?"

"I kind of thought all the felonies I've committed for you over the last year would be proof enough, but if you want me to make an honest woman out of you we can run down to Tiffany's for a ring right now." He dared.

She kept her eyes on his, almost ready to call his bluff. "Was that your proposal?"

"Were you waiting for me to propose where we first met? Somehow I don't think a candlelit dinner on the road outside Allenwood would be all that romantic."

Emily nodded, conceding the small victory to her man. "Good point, Nolan."

He smiled, satisfied, and returned to their most pressing concern. "Don't worry, Ems. You'll have your chance to play bridezilla, but you should have told Daniel the truth about us, it'd be more convincing timing-wise for when the kid is born."

"I wasn't thinking about that. I just wanted to get away from him."

"I can imagine."

Emily hesitated for a moment, wanting the truth but afraid she would see him lie. "Nolan, was Daniel there that night, the Nolcorp event?"

His eyes were steady with hers, but growing cold at the memory of Daniel's insults.

"Yes."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want him to ruin the party for you and remember, I was a little preoccupied later on that night." He reminded her pointedly. "The Grayson party-crasher must've slipped my mind."

"He said you had him thrown out." She pressed.

Nolan shifted his weight on the sofa, unafraid to tell her what he did that night - God knew she'd done much worse - but he was irritated that Daniel had tattled on him. The man would have preferred to keep Emily in the dark.

"Oh, I did more than that, Ems." Nolan cleared his throat and tried to appear unaffected. "I had him thrown out and then I had my personal Seal Team Six knock him around a little before dumping him on the boardwalk and calling the cops. He spent the night in jail and had to explain himself to Grayson Global's board and the few major investors they have left."

Emily stilled, shocked. "You-?"

Nolan shook his head, defiant. "Don't look at me like that, Ems. He crashed my company's party, he insulted you, not to mention I was still holding a grudge about my burns, so...yeah, I guess you could say I was venting." He shrugged, "I'm regretting it a little now but you know what they say about hindsight."

Emily felt dumbfounded by what he'd just told her. It was so easy for her to forget that Nolan carried a ruthless streak rivaling her own.

"What did Daniel say about me?"

Nolan stood and went into the kitchen, forgoing any alcohol and pulling two Snapples from the refridgerator instead. He handed Emily a fruit punch and kept the peach tea for himself. "Oh, who remembers? Just something about you being after me for money - you know, I'm a little insulted that no one thinks I can get you on my own. Are you really that far out of my league?"

Nolan thought of Jack, the friend who had supposedly seen the good qualities in him - enough so that he left Declan in his care for several weeks early in the winter, but Jack had accused him of the worst on learning of his new connection with Emily.

The woman sipped her drink, then ran her hand through his hair and rose on her toes to kiss his cheek. "You know you're gorgeous, Nolan, I've seen your self-pics on Twitter. But for anyone to think I'm only with you for money, that's insulting to both of us."

Nolan smoothed his hand down her arm, "So let's get rid of any doubt that we're a happy family. We keep baby Grayson between us. That kid will be mine in every way that matters, and I'll get rid of any evidence that says otherwise." He kissed her cheek as she'd kissed his. "Let's just hope that your genes won out and the kid is born blonde."

Emily leaned into him, so thankful when she felt his arms come over her. "Black hair would be hard to explain."

Nolan tucked her head under his chin, holding her. "Daniel didn't ruin the Nolcorp party and he won't ruin this for us. If we have to, I'm sure that we can come up with a few distractions so he won't even think to ask any questions when he hears the news that you're...you know, expecting."

Emily sighed against him. "Expecting! God, it seems so surreal."

"I know, this isn't what I pictured us doing this week, but here we are." Nolan stepped back and put his hands over her shoulders. "So what now?"

She put her hands over his, feeling tension in his fingers despite his flippancy. "I don't know. I guess I should get vitamins and look into a Lamaze class."

The man nodded. "I guess. So what should I do?"

She gave him a small smile. "I don't know, maybe you should Google it: the checklist for expectant fathers."

"I will. First I need to lawyer up and let her know what we're going to do, just in case."

"Always be prepared, right?"

Nolan bit his tongue.

_______________________________

"Good afternoon, Mr. Ro-"

"Denise, listen...Emily has decided not to tell Daniel about the baby."

A heavy silence.

Then, "I see. May I ask why?"

Nolan cleared his throat. There was no way he was going to repeat what the Grayson "spaniel" had said about him or what he'd asked Emily to do to help his mother's defense.

"I...after everything, Emily doesn't want our kid to grow up with any Grayson influence, and I can't say I blame her."

The man made sure to emphasize his equal claim to the child; this would be a grand experiment in Nature versus Nurture: he was determined to help Emily raise the child as far away from a Grayson as possible.

Through the phone, Nolan could hear Denise typing and he imagined her fingers tapping over the keyboard, two ebony spiders transcribing her every thought and his every word.

"I don't disagree, sir. But you are aware of the risks in keeping the child's true paternity a secret from Mr. Grayson."

Nolan looked over his shoulder, through the open balcony door. Emily was on the sofa, resting with her hands - whether she'd done it consciously or not - over her belly, protective of the new life growing inside her. He never thought he'd see her like this, but a great many things had changed between them over the past few months.

"I know. She's worth it, the family we can make will be worth it." Nolan sighed. "Besides, you follow the trades, give it another year and Daniel Grayson won't have a leg to stand on."

"I am inclined to agree, sir, but I will establish a standby defense in case the issue ever arises."

Nolan raised his eyebrows, "Just out of curiosity, how many standby defenses have you cooked up for me over the years?"

"Three so far, sir. It's standard procedure for someone of your level. I have one in case you are ever sued for paternity, copyright infringement or embezzlement from Nolcorp and, for when the time comes and if you choose to use it, an iron-clad pre-nuptial agreement." Denise listed easily.

She was proud of the work she'd done for Nolan Ross; he was a man worth protecting.

"Wow. I knew you were a good bet when I first signed on with you." He shrugged to himself. "I might need that pre-nup soon."

"You've proposed, sir?"

He rolled his eyes lightly at the rising hope in her voice. _Women and weddings._

"Not exactly. We talked about it - or, I should say, we taunted each other about it. Let's save the 'marry me' talk for another time." Nolan adored Emily, but he didn't see himself in a tuxedo just yet. "I called to let you know that it'll just be Emily, the baby and me - and that I need to update my will. If I croak early, then everything I have goes to them."

"Hopefully not until the end of your natural life."

"I'll second that," he agreed, thinking of David, Frank and Tyler - all men whose lives had ended too soon. "But this is something I need to do. If anything happens to me, then I need to know they'll be protected."

That Emily had plenty of resources on her own was negligible to Nolan; he knew that the woman could take care of herself, and the baby, if he left the world early for any reason, be it natural or not. In his own way he saw a bit of poetic justice that Nolcorp, which wouldn't have existed without David Clarke, would be given over to the true Amanda Clarke when Nolan himself ceased to exist.

Emily might not see it that way when the will was read and she learned of what he'd done, but he wouldn't be there to argue the point.

_______________________________

Later in the evening, after Chinese takeout and a rented DVD that neither of them had paid much attention to, Emily could be found on the bedroom floor putting herself through a few useful yoga stretches.

She had started yoga at Takeda's insistence that it built discipline and would be integral in keeping her focus strong. Twisting her legs beneath her, Emily thought of Nolan - the man she'd put through hell and still called friend.

Lover, now. He had been her lover for several weeks and may one day take the title of husband, but above all, Nolan was her friend.

He loved her.

Emily spread her legs into a full splits there on the floor. They had not said the words, they had not lost themselves to first romance like teenagers, but their connection was clear in their every touch and exchange.

Even when they bickered, even when they fought, there was love. Emily thought on her time spent with Daniel. The man had loved her, but all too soon his love had turned on her, loaded with expectations and obligation.

With Nolan, his only expectation was that she keep honest with him.

She could have lied, she could have let Nolan keep his deserved happiness and allow him to believe that the child was his...she could have done that, and live with the poison of guilt until the truth came to light.

Nolan would have hated her had she done such a thing, Emily knew.

_He can forgive anything but my lies._

As difficult as it had been, sharing the truth with Nolan had been the best thing for them both. Amazingly, his anger had lasted only a day; when the man read the truth, the only anger he showed was at her idea to leave and spare him the humiliation of raising another man's child.

_I deserve to lose you for the pain I've caused._

No. Nolan had warmed to the idea of making a family more quickly than she had. Emily still held reservations - what if Daniel learned the truth and tried to break them? What if Nolan changed his mind? What would they tell the child if the difference in appearance was too much to ignore? - but for now, she felt safe with him.

The woman lifted her arms, pressing her hands together high above her head.

_I love you, Nolan. You're-_

"Is that good for being pregnant?"

Emily opened her eyes and turned, unable to stop her smile as she saw Nolan leaning against the doorframe. Clearly, he'd been watching her for several minutes. "Exercise is always good for the body."

Nolan came in close, stepping over her leg - still spread in a full split - and knelt before her. "What does it feel like?"

"Doing the splits?"

"Being pregnant."

Emily leaned forward, bringing her legs together and moving back to sit Japanese-style, on her knees and heels. They faced each other, sitting on the floor. "I don't know. I don't feel any different now than I did before I knew. I think it takes more time."

"No weird cravings?"

She shook her head. "Nothing yet, why? Are you looking forward to watching me eat sardines and ice cream?"

"How'd you guess my favorite snack?"

"Maybe I know you pretty well." She said, baiting him.

"...do you think I'll be a good father?"

His question surprised her. "The best."

There was no doubt in her mind. Nolan was gentle, protective and nurturing. Being that they were both novices, there were bound to be mistakes, but Emily would have no one else by her side.

"Thank you." Nolan nodded and took a deep breath. "I think I just needed to hear that."

She furrowed her brows, "Is everything all right?"

Nolan nodded. "I talked to Denise, my personal lawyer. I let her know that we're keeping this between us."

"What does she think?"

"She's on board, more or less. Just in case we need it somewhere down the line, she's going to put together a defense for us."

"And you trust her?"

"Yes."

"Then that's good enough for me."

Nolan cleared his throat. "This is actually happening...we're having a baby."

There was a shade of wonder in his voice, and his eyes were bright. Emily tilted her head, absorbing the sight of him. His hair had fallen forward once again, covering his forehead. This was her man, but when the boy within shined through like this, she often had to remind herself that he was the older one between them.

Emily leaned forward and kissed him, gently, the way she knew he liked. "Nolan, if ever you want to change your mind about this-"

He shook his head, reached forward to hold her shoulders. "I won't. Ems, I want this."

"Are you sure?"

"Positively positive, babe."


	27. Chapter 27

So it went, through the following weeks Nolan and Emily turned their thoughts away from Daniel Grayson, away from outside threats to their happiness, a family for them to share. A family, after so many years of being alone in the world.

Alone, surrounded by people who knew only the masks they wore, but never the people behind them.

Emily looked at Nolan as he read an ebook, his expression sharp, focused, as he absorbed the wisdom - _What to Expect When You're Expecting_ \- on the digital pages. The man had an amazing mind; he had made his fortune in coding and in designing products that had enabled the instant transfer of data: text messaging, the download and file sharing system of MP3s, ereaders, tablets and several hologram prototypes. Nolan was a genius, but even he appeared mystified by the changes that were in store for them both.

She left the man at the kitchen table, her eyes drifting over the plans he'd drawn up, his baby-proofing ideas for each room of the house: child locks on every cabinet in the kitchen, a gate for the top and bottom of the stairs, a padlock for the liquor cabinet where his well-stocked wet bar had just been removed.

"You don't think it's a little early for that?" She'd asked him.

Nolan had shrugged. "I like to plan ahead. If the kid is anything like the mother, then I need to keep an eye on my tequila."

She'd swatted him for that, but hadn't been able to stop her smile.

Nolan enjoyed strategizing, plotting things out. They had that in common, it was only part of why their partnership had paid off so beautifully.

Emily stepped out to the backyard, letting the late summer sun hit her face and shoulders. She breathed in the salted air, considering a swim, either in the pool or in the ocean. She would have Nolan join her, but didn't want to interrupt his time reading.

Let him read, let him learn.

Let them enjoy the peace, one last quiet summer in the Hamptons.

The fall was coming for them both.

____________________________

"Nolan, do you remember when we were in the city, you asked me if I thought that you could be a good father?"

The man turned to her, his fingers paused in the act of unbuttoning his shirt as they were readying for bed. He looked over to the pensive form standing near the window. Her back was facing him, and she was wearing his _Ramones_ t-shirt over a navy satin camisol top, the hem of the matching shorts peeking out from beneath it.

"Ems?"

"Do you think I'll be a good mother?"

He could see her reflection in the polished glass of the window, her brow knitted in concentration. He could see her hands were low on her body, resting over her belly, the womb that held their child.

The man finished removing his shirt, then moved to stand just behind her. Emily closed her eyes as she felt his arms come around her, his hands resting over her hands, cradling the tiny new life. She leaned back against him, smiling lightly when he nuzzled into her neck.

"I think the other moms on the PTA won't know what hit them."

Emily turned to face him, shoving at his chest. "I want a real answer, be serious."

Nolan caught her hands. "You want a serious answer? Fine, here it is: Emily Thorne, you will be a wonderful mother."

His answer was near the same that she had given him in the city penthouse, with the same sincerity. It had been hidden for years, but Emily could be gentle, she could be kind, nurturing, and God knew she would protect what's hers.

"How do you know that?" She asked, leaning into him.

Nolan hugged her, recalling from the book that, as Emily's mate in this, it was his job to reassure her. _I think they call that a no-brainer._

"The same way that you know I'll be a good father. We trust each other and we'll be there to help get through the rough times...sound familiar?" He teased, reminding her of how they had teamed so well together through her vengeance.

She rose onto her toes to kiss him, craving the reassurance of his touch.

Moving to the bed, Nolan was slow in undressing her. Gone was his t-shirt, a garment commandeered by the woman several weeks ago, soon followed by her satin camisole. Emily was still under his curious eyes, his exploring hands.

With all care, his fingertips skimmed her skin, frowning slightly to see the fading bruises that remained from their last rough connection, just before they'd learned of her pregnancy. He looked down to see that, yes, there were small bruises on her waist and hips as well. Lightly, Nolan guided Emily to lay down with him. He stripped her of her pajama shorts and himself of his lounge pants.

This was different; for the man to explore her in such a way, silent, assessing.

"What is it?"

Nolan looked up, she'd been watching his face as he traced the buises. He put his hand over her left hip, lining his fingertips and thumb to the five purple marks that colored her skin, hard evidence of their passion.

"I got too carried away that night, I can't let it happen again."

Emily's brows knitted at his words and she rolled onto her stomach, propping herself up on her elbows to look down at him. "I've never complained."

Nolan shook his head, "It's different now, you're in a...delicate condition."

"I should crack your jaw for saying that," Emily groused. "I'm not made of glass."

"No, but it's not just you anymore."

"You worry too much." Emily teased him, but she'd brought her hand to rest over his chest, stroking the healing scratches she'd made that same night he'd branded her with bruises.

She pushed him a bit, until he was fully on his back beside her. "It's my job to worry now, I'm about to be a family man."

"There's still time, you're not tied down just yet."

He winked at her, making her smile. "Is that a hint about what's to come?"

Emily leaned over and kissed his cheek. "I don't know, if you play your cards right..."

Nolan kissed her, his hand lifting to her hair, tugging it softly. He twined his legs with hers, bringing her closer, until Emily moved to lay atop him. Smoothing his hands up and down her back, Nolan ended the kiss and held her, enjoying the closeness, the simplicity of just having her this close.

"Are you scared?"

"Terrified."

Emily pulled back to look at him, "Really? Why?"

"It's just something my father told me, a long time ago. Basically that when a man becomes a father, he never sleeps again. Dear old dad, he wasn't wrong."

Nolan's father was a sore subject; from what Emily knew of the man, he had spent most of Nolan's life ignoring him with only the occasional civil exchange or burst of verbal abuse, all based on the older man's changeable moods.

Edward Ross had died the year before, but given that they had been estranged for so long, Nolan had been, on the surface at least, wholly unconcerned. It wasn't until later that he had let himself feel something like sorrow at the loss.

"He told you what it was like to be a father?"

"He had good days sometimes, where we would actually talk - it was when I was younger, when he asked me about school and he didn't hear me mention sports or friends or girls...he would go quiet, and that's when I knew it was over. He'd go back to ignoring me, and I'd go back to ignoring him. The good times were short-lived, but I got a few pearls of wisdom out of him before I left."

Emily smoother her palm over his chest. "Do you regret how things ended between you?"

"Yes. Sometimes." He took a deep breath. "Sometimes I wish I could have seen him before he died, apologized, explained myself better...I would have liked to have been able to show him that I finally found someone, that I had you and that we had a baby on the way. But that'll never happen now. You and I...Emily, we know all about how regret can eat you alive. That's all in the past now. We're moving forward, but our fathers aren't here to see it."

Nolan was telling the truth, but it still made her heart ache for him. She'd had wonderful years spent with her father. David Clarke had been her parent and her friend. Nolan had never had that with his own father, he'd been alone.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. The way I left things with my dad...I think we only spoke two or three times in the last fifteen years. I'd go back and change things if I could, for you and for me."

"How much longer until that time machine is finished?" She smiled at him.

"Sorry, Ems. That project has been shelved in favor of more _pressing_ matters." Nolan smiled wickedly, grinding his hips against hers, teasing her.

Emily dipped her head and kissed him, writhing against him, craving his touch, craving his weight atop her. Nolan moved, shifting her beneath him, his eyes holding hers. "You're sure?"

The woman nodded, tilting her hips toward his, her hands in his hair. Her legs wrapped over his waist, guiding him, cradling him within her. They said nothing, but they were not silent. They panted, quiet moans from her, his short grunts muffled agant the flesh of her throat.

It came over her, and Emily clasped her arms and legs over him, so tight that he was unable to move against her - but trapped as he was, stilled against her, Nolan could feel her muscles contracting, throbbing around him, a sensation that pushed him over his own edge.

Gasping, Emily held Nolan to her, enjoying his weight over her, the heat of his flesh, the tickle of his hair against her face. Regaining himself, Nolan moved off of her, pulling away before laying down at her side once again.

 _We can do this_ , Emily thought as she breathed deeply, trying to catch her breath.

Beside her, even while fighting the urge to slide into sleep, Nolan held her close and thought the same.


	28. Chapter 28

"All right, I got a chili-cheese dog with fries, cole slaw and a large Coke. Did I get that right?"

Declan smiled at the girl running the stand, "You know it. Thank you, Dee."

"Breakfast of champions, huh?"

Digging into the dog, Declan nodded. "Something like that."

The girl left Declan to his late breakfast, which he took to one of the picnic tables that lined the boardwalk. It was early in the day, and it was his day off from the bar - by special request, so that he could go into the city for a campus tour of a community college later on in the afternoon.

Declan had been accepted, and he was considering the school - there were options: loans, financial aid and he'd even won a few scholarships to help pay for college. Aside from that, he could find work at any of the restaurants near the campus, since he certainly had the experience.

It amazed him, how he'd once thought of college as this monstrous expense so far out of his grasp that it had been impossible to even consider that path for himself.

Where he once might have thought to forego school altogether, both Jack and then Nolan had knocked some common sense into him. He wouldn't get anywhere in the world without a college degree and he damn well knew it now.

High school was over, he had to make a decision soon about where he would go for college. His plan was to take a tour of three local schools, see which one of the three struck him as the best bet and then try his luck to see if he could make it.

Forking a bite of cole slaw, Declan took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves.

The young man had spent the last year struggling with the constant feeling of inadequacy; Charlotte's family had been less than thrilled to learn she was with him, and of course every day spent at that prep school had been the constant reminder of being poor, of not being good enough, that he somehow deserved his place at the bottom of the pile.

He was nervous about going into the city and meeting other prospective students, hence the comfort food. Still, it wasn't as if he was going to visit Yale or Harvard. He knew there was a good chance that he would meet other students in similar situations, so he tried to keep his insecurities quiet.

He sipped at his Coke and looked down across the street, surprised to see Nolan at the cafe on the corner, his tablet on the table and a coffee in his hand.

Declan watched Nolan for a minute, curious. He knew that Jack had had a falling out with the other man, but that had nothing to do with Declan. He liked Nolan well enough and he wasn't so loyal to his stubborn brother that he would cut ties with the man over some argument they'd had.

He finished up with his food and took his Coke with him on the short walk over to the cafe. On approach, Declan wondered about this man who seemed to have everything; clearly, money hadn't bought Nolan happiness, but it had bought him a lot of mismatched clothes.

Declan came up behind Nolan and raised a brow to see that he was focused on an ebook. "Nolan, hey."

Startled, Nolan cleared his tablet and greeted the younger Porter. For a moment, anxiety gripped him, the worry that Declan would deal him the same accusations as Jack had on learning of his claim to Emily.

"Declan! Hey, how are you?"

Declan nodded and shrugged, "Been good."

"Classes going all right?"

"Summer school's over now, but I've still been studying up for college entrance exams - the math is still tough, but it's getting there." Declan gestured to Nolan's arm, the injury concealed under his blazer sleeve. He knew about it from Jack's first visit to his house, but Declan hadn't seen it for himself. "How's the arm?"

Nolan mirrored Declan's earlier shrug. "It's getting there."

Cutting to it, Declan sat down across from him and said, "I haven't seen you around the bar much."

Nolan glanced to Emily through the store window. She was inside, looking through magazines for them to share at the table - coffee for Nolan and a mint tea for her.

Declan might be more understanding than Jack had been, but Nolan wasn't stupid; he had to watch his words. "Well, Jack banned me for awhile. I have to respect that."

Declan raised his brows, "You're serious? What, because of her?" He gestured to the store, to Emily just inside.

Nolan nodded, "More or less. You don't seem surprised to know about us, did Jack tell you?"

Declan shook his head. "He didn't have to. Look, I was there when he was getting ready to go out and talk to her. I told him not to, that he should just get over her already, but he didn't listen." Here, the younger man took a sip of his Coke and wished it was a beer instead as he told Nolan his perspective of the day that had changed things between Nolan and Jack. "He comes back a little later, then goes up to his room and doesn't say a word. Now, I didn't hear anything, but I saw you come in later on that same day and things looked tense. Didn't take a genius to figure it out."

Nolan leaned in, sincere. "I didn't know he still wanted...I never meant to hurt him."

"Hey, come on, man. It's not your fault he didn't learn his lesson the first time last year when she was with Daniel." Declan waved off the other man's concern. "He shouldn't have banned you. Jack owes you a lot. We both do."

Nolan shook his head, "You Porters don't owe me anything, this was just an argument that took a bad turn, that's all. We might all be friends again when it's over."

Nolan sounded so hopeful, but then, friends had always been something Nolan had had to hope for.

"I get that, but there shouldn't have been an argument in the first place. I told him she wasn't interested and he didn't listen. No offense, but no girl is worth all this trouble."

Nolan smiled and shrugged, "I'm inclined to agree, but she isn't just any girl to me."

For his part, Declan hadn't known Nolan while he'd been involved with anyone - man or woman. While the older man had been looking after him over those weeks in winter, the topic had come up once: Nolan had only mentioned at the time that he was single and, after Tyler, he would take more care in choosing his next partner.

Not having known any openly gay men, Declan had been a bit uncomfortable to learn that truth at first, but really he'd been more upset to learn that Nolan had been with that psycho Tyler than he was to know that Nolan liked men.

Now it seemed that Nolan went both ways, but no one appeared bothered by it, and neither was Declan. If anything, he was just glad his friend had chosen someone a little more balanced this time around - Emily was harmless.

Declan nodded, "I get it. I do. You remember how I was with Charlotte."

Nolan nodded back to him, "Young love. You liked her enough to attend a prep school everyone knew you hated."

"For all the good it did me, I haven't seen her since before she took off." Declan rolled his eyes.

Nolan raised his brows, "I can find her if you want."

Declan shook his head, "No, that's all right. I figure we would know where she is if she wanted to be found, right?"

Inclining his head, Nolan thought on Charlotte. He had been keeping an eye on her, though he had yet to mention it to Emily; she hadn't shown much interest in Charlotte on learning they shared blood, but Nolan hoped the day might come when she wanted to know her half-sister.

"She might come back when things with her family have...you know, settled down."

Declan rolled his eyes, "Yeah, I dont know about that. The Graysons aren't known for their lack of drama."

______________________________

Later in the day, Declan hesitated, weighing the pros and cons of even bringing up the two people that had so hurt Jack simply by being together. He could keep quiet, but he knew if he did that, his brother would just go on being angry with them both; if he told Jack what he'd seen, then the man may finally be able to move on from his grudge against the pair.

"Hey, Jack. I, uh, bumped into Nolan while I was out earlier."

Jack went on, wiping down the counter. "Yeah, and?"

"Let it go, Jack." Declan huffed, finally showing his irritation with his brother's stubborness. Enough was enough.

"They're together and it looks like they're going to stay that way."

"What makes you say that?"

Declan took a deep breath before telling the secret, "She's pregnant."

Jack stilled at the news. _Emily and Nolan? A baby?_

"He told you that?"

His brother shook his head and moved to sit at the bar, "No, he didn't have to. I saw a baby book on Nolan's tablet when I walked up to his table. We should send him a bottle of our best."

Jack crossed his arms, "Why would I do that?"

"Because it's over, Jack." Declan ran a hand through his hair, "She made her choice and she happened to choose the guy who owns our bar, not to mention our home. From the first day, he's always done right by us. Let it go, Emily isn't the only girl in the world."

Declan checked his watch, "Look, I need to go. I'll catch you later Jack."

Jack waved as his brother stepped out of the bar, and thought on his words.

______________________________

Unaware of the turmoil over at the Stowaway, Emily followed the sounds of rattling metal and ripping cardboard coming from the guestrroom. She knocked on the door and peeked inside to find Nolan kneeling on the floor, surrounded by connecting pieces and small tools.

"What're you doing?"

He looked up at her and smiled, "This was supposed to be a surprise. Baby will need a crib, I figured mine is still good. I sent an assistant to get this bad boy out of storage."

Emily stepped into the room for a closer look at the plain wood rails that would come together to make a baby crib. "This was yours?"

"Yep."

Emily ran her hands over the nearest wood frame, "It's hard to picture you as a baby, Nolan."

"We were all kids once, Ems. What, you think I hatched from an egg fully grown?"

"Sometimes I can't help but wonder." Emily eyed the small pile of screws and bolts he'd laid out on the floor at his side according to size, from smallest to largest. "Do you need any help?"

The man shook his head, always teasing her. "Don't let my geek chicness fool you, I'm a born builder. Even blindfolded, I can put together anything from Ikea."

"Impressive."

"Thanks." Nolan stood and guided her from the room, "Have a rest and I'll show you when it's ready."

"You're always telling me to rest, I feel fine." Emily groused.

"The books say you need to rest."

"And I say I feel fine. I'm not going on bed-rest any time soon."

"All right, all right. Do your yoga or have a swim." Nolan lead her out of the room and promised her, "Let me put this together, you'll see, it'll be great."

______________________________

After taking Nolan's advice and having a lazy swim in the pool, Emily removed her bathing suit and took a shower. The hot water enveloped her, the suds of shampoo tingled over her scalp. She felt great, she felt secure and happy.

Nolan was still in the guest room when she'd come in from the pool, and she decided to leave him to his project. Nolan loved a project; she was not even three months into her pregnancy but the man had made plans to remake his house into a home for the three of them, he'd already read several books regarding pregnancy and child health and now he was assembling his own crib for the guest room that he had already decided to remake into a nursery.

They were going to make a family. Emily warmed every time she saw Nolan, the friend who had become a lover and who would soon become the father to her child. Emily wanted to get through her pregnancy and skip to the end, to where the three of them would share the house and their lives.

She combed out her hair and put on a chemise for the night, and over that she put on another of the man's t-shirts.

"Emily, are you up there?"

She stepped out of his room and looked down from the upstairs landing. Nolan was down in the living room, "Come on down here, I want to show off my handiwork."

"That crib better not have wi-fi, GPS or a touch-screen," Emily teased him as she moved down the stairs.

"Excuse me, it's a Nolcorp crib - it has a built-in hologram mobile, high-def surveillance monitors and an incubation system." Nolan fired back at her as he opened the door to the guestrroom.

He stood aside and let her into the room first.

Tears rose in Emily's eyes at the sight of it, the polished wood crib. It was old. It was plain. It had been built for Nolan, and he had rebuilt it for the child they would share.

Moving forward, she gripped the rail, the soft scent of old wood holding in the air.

"Nolan, it looks great." She breathed.

He knew she was happy, but all the same he didn't like to see her crying and tried to make her laugh instead. "You sound so surprised, everyone underestimates me!"

Emily swiped away her tears with the back of her hand, "So sensitive, you know I didn't mean it like that."

He shook his head and then lightly shook the crib's railing, "Feel free to test it, I can guarantee that it's structurally sound."

"Nolan, this is wonderful. I love it."

"Let's hope the kid loves it enough to sleep through the night."

The man had read through a library's worth of books on infant and toddler care already - the one thing he wasn't looking forward to was a greater lack of sleep.

Emily turned to hug him, "You're really getting ahead of yourself with this."

She could feel the low rumble of his laugh through her chest as he hugged her to him, tightly. "Says the girl who spent the last decade in vengeance school. I thought you'd appreciate all this prep."

"You know I do, super-dad." Emily kissed him.

"I like the sound of that, say it again." He gently commanded as he backed her up to the guest bed.

Emily moved to lay on her back as Nolan moved to lay beside her, propped on an elbow. "Nolan Ross, the super-dad."

"As you say, so shall it be." He bowed his head while intoning the words.

"Is that from a movie?"

"Of course."

"Why am I not surprised?"

They went on, teasing, taunting each other for the rest of the night. Nolan kissed her belly and Emily ran her fingers through his hair, the two of them eventually settling down to sleep.

Emily had another charity meeting to host and Nolan had to put in an appearance at the unveiling of Nolcorp's latest and greatest gadget.

It would be a busy day for them both, it would be the day that broke them.


	29. Chapter 29

Before the fire, before Nolan, Emily had not allowed herself to dream of a new life for herself. Vengeance did not allow fantasies of lovers and children - not when she had spent a decade planning the downfall of so many people, saving the Graysons for last.

After seeing that twisted family ripped apart, as her own family had been, Emily had allowed herself to feel secure with Nolan. She had trusted him in the beginning, but after the fire, in living with the man, her trust and affection had grown deeper, simmering until lust flashed between them, changing everything that they could ever be to each other going forward.

It was late. Past midnight, and though the room was dark, light from the city just beyond the glass had managed to slip in between the curtains.

Emily rolled over in bed, unable to sleep and unable to focus. She laid a hand over her belly, flattening her palm and spreading her fingers.

Tired eyes wandered over the room, settling on the window. The view was different than what she had grown used to: Manhattan greeted her every morning now rather than a view of the Hamptons shore, the noise of a city screamed over gently rolling waves.

Emily rolled onto her back, wondering what Nolan was doing in that moment. She hoped he was asleep, or, if his insomnia was keeping him up as hers was, then she hoped he was playing a game or working on his latest invention.

That familiar ache pierced her chest and she hoped that, whatever he was doing, Nolan didn't hate her.

_I deserve to be alone. I can't face him, not after..._

Sleep would not be coming to her that night, Emily knew it.

With great effort, she pulled her thoughts away from her friend. Perhaps she was meant to be alone, a fitting punishment for the innocents who had suffered for her vendetta.

The woman threw back the covers and went to the living room, crossing onto her balcony to feel the early morning chill over her skin as autumn rolled over the city.

The hard ache pulsed through her chest as her mind conjured some clever thing Nolan would say if only he was there with her.

But Nolan was not, and Emily had to remember what it was to be alone in the world again.

______________________________

It was the dream again, that horrible day when it had all come falling down on them. The man had been tortured for days, powerless to free himself. Powerless to do anything, which tore at him, clawing into his mind with constant recriminations of _I could have...I should have...It's my fault...Why didn't I...?_

Stripping a man of choice and ability, leaving him powerless but to stand and witness horror is nothing short of living torture. Any man who has had to endure the pain of a loved one can attest: there is no punishment worse than being rendered helpless to stop the pain of another.

Nearly every night for the past several weeks, Nolan's guilt had forced him to relive the pain of that horrible day. The confusion, the shock, the panic and fear, and finally, the pain of loss, of shattered happiness, of being helpless to stop yet another tragedy from happening to his Emily.

_Emily, are you all right?_

_No._

_What are-? My God, is that blood? Emily, don't move, I'll call Dr. Thorton and an ambulance-_

_Don't, Nolan. It's gone._

It took effort to break himself from the nightmare, but Nolan had managed to do so the last few nights. Yes, he can wake himself, but even in his waking life he is not free of the memories that clawed through his mind, forcing him to see the proof and hear the words that their child would never be.

The man snapped awake, his long form spread across the living room sofa, every last inch of him aching, a mind split by the pain of a torn heart and a body flooded by alcohol.

"God, just make it stop," he muttered the infantile plea as he moved to stand, begging for a moment free of pain.

Despite the cool air flowing in from the back door he'd left open, Nolan was sweating. He was sick, he knew, but he didn't care. He wanted alcohol poisoning, he wanted some horrible disease - hell, if Tyler were to show up with a machete, Nolan would offer his neck.

The man staggered to the guest bathroom, vomiting into the toilet, cradling his head on the cold bathroom tiles, haunted now not by the dream but by his memory of what horror took place that day.

_She thinks it's her fault._

_I know. She said as much to me._

_Why did this happen, Dr.? We did everything right..._

_The body has a better knowledge of these things than our medical knowledge ever will. I'm sorry, Mr. Ross._

_So am I._

"Stop it!" Nolan pulled at his hair, pounding his temples to rid himself of the memories. Their life together had ended that day, everything Nolan had never admitted to wanting had been taken from him. And Emily, she...

Grunting, Nolan pulled himself up off the floor and he crossed to the wet bar, no longer locked against the child who would never be. It was nearly empty now thanks to Nolan's glorious binge.

_Emily, it's me. How do you feel?_

God, the way she'd looked at him...

_Empty._

Nolan threw a bottle against the wall, a scream of anger unleashed from his raw throat.

_After everything, it wasn't supposed to be this way - it was our turn to be happy!_

"It wasn't supposed to be this way," Nolan sobbed out to the empty house. It had been empty for days and he hated every inch of the echoing glass building.

He stood and staggered out to the backyard, hating Emily, hating his house, the beach, the sun, the Graysons, David and the whole world.

Compared to most, Nolan's life had seemed charmed by the grace of his genius and the wealth that had been born of it, but his genius had flourished as a direct result of his constant loneliness.

For so long, all he'd wanted was a friend, so desperate for someone who understood and cared for him that he'd taken Emily's every insult like a loving martyr. But that time had passed, everything had changed between them...and yet Emily was gone and he was alone again, friendless and a father to no one.

"You're a coward, Emily." Nolan said to the empty air.

He sank to his knees on the shore as memories rose in his mind to torture him.

After the...what had happened, time had stretched on in the house for days.

Emily had faded in a way that Nolan had never seen before. She had shut down, crushed under the weight of her own sorrow.

Thinking back, Nolan had hated the ghost that haunted his home, the wraith of misery that Emily had become. They had not shared their pain, they had grieved separately, which might have hurt Nolan most of all, that Emily had turned away from him as she so often had in the past.

He missed her happy, golden and bright. He wasn't used to seeing her in such a state of defeat and he didn't know what to do with her. It seemed that the loss had eaten its way down to her very spirit.

Nolan had done what he could.

He'd discreetly removed the crib from the room as she slept, silent tears slipping down his face as he went to task with a screwdriver, taking the hated thing apart and calling his assistant to take it back to storage.

He made her favorite meals, only to have Emily refuse to join him for dinner. He'd had flowers delivered, bright bouquets that wilted in the darkness of her room.

Then, one day, Nolan had finally had enough of Emily's mourning. He couldn't take another day of her staying in bed in the dark guest room, he took it upon himself to break the hold that depression had over her. Finding his courage, the man had thrown open her door, ripped down the dark curtains to flood the room with light, and before Emily could demand just what the hell he was doing, Nolan pulled Emily over his shoulder and strode straight outside, jumping into the pool, clothes and all, bringing Emily into the water with him.

When they surfaced, Emily had lashed out at him, screeching nonsense, punching and clawing at him like an animal. Nolan took it, absorbing her rage and despair, allowing himself to become the target of her violence.

It took several minutes, but Emily's fury began to ebb away as fresh despair took its place. Nolan watched as her face crumbled into sobs. "Oh God, Nolan…Nolan, my baby…"

He brought her into his hold, cradling her head against his chest. There were no words that would comfort her, he knew, and so the man said nothing.

It was some time later that found both Nolan and Emily in dry clothes. They'd showered together, Nolan reassuming his role as caretaker, scrubbing away her sorrow, holding her as she sobbed against him, accepting her kisses of gratitude but not pushing her for more.

He set a plate of hearty lasagna before her on the table. He wanted to see her smile, but more than anything, he needed to see her eat.

Three silent bites into the meal, Nolan had to ask her, "How do you feel?"

"Better."

He knew she was lying, but he pressed on. "Emily, I'm sorry for being rough. I just couldn't take seeing you like that anymore."

She shook her head. "It's all right. You didn't hurt me, Nolan. We all need a good kick in the ass sometimes, and you gave me mine."

He gave her a small smile, "Interesting twist, huh? Seriously though, are you all right?"

Emily went quiet for several long moments, searching for an answer. "No. But maybe I will be. Nolan?"

"Hmm?"

Emily finally raised her eyes to his.

"I'm sorry too. For hurting you."

The knot of dread in his stomach had him worried that Emily wasn't just talking about what she'd done to him in the pool.

______________________________

The next morning, Nolan knew Emily was gone before he found her note on the kitchen counter downstairs. He'd woken up without her beside him and felt it: there was a stillness to his home that he once constantly craved as a haven from the ignorance he faced in the outside world.

_Now, though..._

Nolan had taken her letter outside to the backyard, needing the cool fresh air to combat his rising anger.

Cold eyes had skimmed the words but it didn't matter what she'd written, that she claimed she'd come back soon or that she'd signed it _'I love you, Emily'._

All the man could feel was the weight of his failure. He knew exactly where Emily was, but it didn't change anything. She was gone. She was gone because he couldn't offer her enough to stay.

He'd crumpled her note and tossed it in the pool.

Returning upstairs, the man laid his palm on the blanket they'd shared the night before.

The man was tired, a soul-deep weariness that he'd been carrying since that horrible day of loss.

He had worked to pull Emily from her despair, ignoring his own in the process, but without another to focus his energies on, without a project of a sort, Nolan was lost in the tragedy.

He made the effort to climb into the bed and sleep, alone as he had for years.

______________________________

Jack raised his brows, so surprised to see Nolan stagger through the door that he forgot his anger with the other man.

"What are you doing here, Nolan?"

Nolan slid onto a barstool and tilted his head, "I'm collecting on my investment, Porter. Now, I'll have a big bottle of vodka…and a straw. I drank the bar at my house."

Jack looked at this man, his friend, and he saw ruin. Nolan's face was thin to start with, but the dark shadows circling his bloodshot eyes and grim expression made him look positively ghoulish.

Jack had seen his share of depressed drinkers, but he knew this was different.

It was clear Nolan hadn't seen the sun in days, his hair had fallen forward, clinging to the clammy skin of his forehead. There was a yellowing bruise on his jaw and a scratch on his right temple and the edge of his eyebrow. Gone was the sly smile and bright clothes, Nolan was wearing all black, the long sleeves of his wrinkled Oxford were pushed up past his elbows.

He couldn't help himself, Jack looked his fill of the scars that ate away Nolan's left forearm. The comparison of the skin to melted wax was not flattering, but it was accurate. He recalled from when he'd visited earlier in the summer that Nolan had called the burn the price he had paid to help a friend; Jack had only thought the burn to be on the back of his hand, he'd never expected an injury so severe.

He looked up to see Nolan glaring at him, "See something interesting?" Nolan took a $100 bill and laid it on the bar. "I'll have that bottle now, and here, I'll pay for it up front. Don't want to be accused of taking advantage of you."

Jack took the money and ignored Nolan's reference to their fight. "You want a whole bottle? Come on, what's eating you, Nolan?"

Taking the bottle, Nolan poured himself a shot, and gulped it down. Then another, and one more after that. Finally, taking a deep breath, Nolan was ready to talk. "Emily took off last night…no, it was three nights ago, I think…I don't know, but I've been drinking since then."

Jack furrowed his brow, "I get it."

Nolan blinked tiredly, wondering if Jack actually did, somehow, understand what had happened. "Do you?"

"You two got into a fight, right?"

_God, Jack, what is it like in your stupid, simple world?_

Nolan did not voice this thought, of course. He wasn't looking for another black eye.

"I wish it was that simple, but no, we didn't fight." It was there, hovering just out of his grasp, everything Nolan wanted to share with Jack - with _someone_.But he did as he always did, and kept quiet to protect their secrets. "We just...we have a whole world of problems."

Jack leaned in, concern on his face. "You have any idea where she might've gone?"

Nolan blinked at Jack; it took a second, but then he remembered that most men didn't have his tech resources, or if they did, they had no reason to keep multiple locations under surveillance. Again, Jack's world was simple.

"Oh, that's not the problem, I know exactly where she is. 122 east 27th street, the Big Apple. I have the place wired." Nolan pulled out his cell and squinted at the screen rather than zooming in on the figure sitting alone at the kitchen island. He didn't want to see her face, he didn't trust himself not to throw the phone against the wall. "She's there right now, looks like she's eating a...what is that, maybe a bagel? It's good that she's eating again."

Jack checked the phone screen for himself and rolled his eyes. "What the hell, Nolan. You know where she is, so why not go after her?"

Nolan shook his head and gulped down a hard shot, groaning as it burned its way down his throat. "No. I'm not chasing her. I'm going to wait until she's finally had enough of running away from her problems. I'll be here for her when she comes back...if she comes back."

Jack frowned, any lingering anger he'd carried for the man finally slipping away. He had carried a torch for Emily for too long and let his jealousy get the best of him, but in seeing Nolan this miserable, he was able to let it go.

The man had seen men drink themselves half to death over a woman, and from what he could see, Nolan was already there.

"I'm sorry Nolan."

"So am I." Nolan sighed and bowed his head. "We both lost our Amandas, Jack."


	30. Chapter 30

Declan had been playing waiter for most of the night since they were one server short; he didn't mind, he could always use the extra cash before he left for school. In running drinks from the bar, he'd seen Nolan come in and then take one of their bottles to a back boothe.

He was concerned for the man; it didn't take any brainwork to see that Nolan was having a rough night. _Scratch that, he looks like he's seen a hell of a rough month,_ Declan thought as he glanced over to see the older man down a quick shot.

It was hard to see anyone suffer like that, but especially a friend. Even at a glance, Declan could see that Nolan was hurting and trying to drown the pain with whatever he could get his hands on. It reminded him of the problem Charlotte had developed with pills.

He waved Jack over to him and cocked his head in Nolan's direction. "What's going on with him?"

Jack shrugged, "Not sure exactly, but he said he and Emily were having problems."

"I figured. Did you get his keys?"

Jack nodded, pulling Nolan's keys from behind the counter to show his brother before hiding them again. "Way ahead of you, Dec. I'm keeping an eye on him to make sure he doesn't leave, but as much as he's had I doubt he'll be able to walk out of here."

"So one of us gets to drive?" Declan asked, hungry brown eyes looking through the window, to the silver Rossmobile parked crookedly outside the bar.

He felt for Nolan but Declan would take any chance to drive the luxury speedster that he could.

"It's last call in half an hour, we'll flip for it then." Jack promised.

Declan reached across the counter and shook his brother's hand. "Deal. Let me close out these tables and I'll go check on him."

______________________________

"So how you holding up?"

Nolan lifted his head from the table to look up at Declan for a moment and then back down to the empty shot glass in his hand. He knew how he must look, the haggard Ichabod Crane of the Hamptons but he was worlds beyond caring now.

He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and blinked at Declan. "I'm...not awesome, Dec. How's school?"

Declan raised his brows; he'd seen Nolan drunk before, but this wasn't a man who'd just had a few too many on a Friday night, he could see that this was a man who'd been making the effort to drown himself.

_Never seen you this bad, Nolan. Must've been one hell of a fight to bring you down._

Declan cleared his throat. "School's out, Nolan. The fall semester of college is starting up next week."

"Oh. It's been a long time."

"No, it hasn't. I saw you just a few weeks ago. You look like hell, man." Declan slid into the boothe across from him and took away the bottle, setting it aside. He was impressed, Nolan had taken nearly half the bottle in shots.

"Really? Because I feel wonderful." Nolan groused.

"You're telling jokes so you can't be that drunk."

"I'm not as drunk as I want to be." Nolan sighed, closing his eyes and slumping back onto the tabletop. Suddenly his eyelids were as heavy as his thoughts.

"I want to be in a coma. I want to be dead."

"C'mon, don't say that, Nolan. It can't be that bad."

Nolan opened his eyes and sat up straight. "I know, I just...I'm tired of it, Dec."

"Tired of what?"

"Just...it was years of secrets and lies and that was before he asked me to find her, and when I did find her it was just more secrets and lies." Nolan absently started stroking over the scars on his arm. "I did everything she asked me to, whatever it was. At first it was because he asked me to take care of her, but then it was because I started to enjoy it, I liked being part of something so close to her, no matter who it hurt..."

Declan frowned lightly, trying to make sense of what he figured was just Nolan's drunken rambling. "I don't get it, Nolan."

He rubbed his eyes, only worsening their redness. "I know. Even though it's over we still can't tell the truth. She said she wanted to be different, and that's all I ever wanted for her, so she could finally be happy." Nolan reached for the vodka again but Declan moved the bottle farther down the table, away from him.

The man sighed, suddenly feeling the weight of all his years. "Even if she really loved Daniel I could have been happy for her, just knowing she was living a real life. Not this, what's she's doing to herself."

Declan leaned forward in the hope he could get through to the man, though as far gone as he was, he knew it would be pointless. "Nolan, you and Emily can work things out. But when she comes back, you can't let her see you like this."

"We've seen each other through some bad times."

Before Nolan could go on, Jack had made it to their table. The bar had been cleared of the other patrons, most of the lights were off and the music had been cut. Without the people and the noise to give the bar life, the Stowaway could be a very melancholy place.

Veteran bartender that he was, Jack knew how to handle men too deep in their drink.

"Nolan, it's time to go home."

"I know."

"You're not driving."

"I know that, too."

______________________________

Together, the brothers managed to pour Nolan into the backseat of his car and Declan drove them to the famous glass house on the shore. Jack had told him that their family once lived on that same street, before they and several other families had been displaced by Nolan and his wealthy neighbors. Even if that was true, Declan couldn't remember ever having lived anywhere but in the room above the Stowaway.

The blonde had taken another of their vodka bottles from behind the bar into the car with him, and had spent the ride home gulping it down in the broken hope that he would black out and be free of his misery for at least a few hours.

No such luck.

Nolan might have slept for a few minutes in the car, but he woke up in the driveway and realized that Jack and Declan were half-carrying and half-dragging him up to the front door.

He heard the jangle of his keys, the door open and he winced as the lights came on and his eyes erupted in fresh pain.

"Jesus, Nolan, you've trashed the place." Jack said as he guided him to the couch. "Here, sit down. Dec, can you grab him some water?"

"Yeah, Jack."

Nolan sank onto the sofa and took a deep breath, looking over his house and started to see what Jack saw. Yes, he'd left the door to the backyard open, and the wind had blown in a mass of leaves and sand all over the floor to join the glass of the bottles he'd thrown in anger, to say nothing of the empty bottles and dirty glasses he'd left on every counter, tabletop and nightstand of the house's lower level. Here and there were shirts he'd pulled off his person in moments of irrationality, thinking that he could smell Emily's perfume clinging to him, taunting and tormenting him when all he wanted was to hate her for leaving...

"I do hate her." Nolan ground out under his breath.

Jack glanced back at him, "What's that?"

Declan came back from the kitchen with a cold bottle of water and handed it to Jack, who in turn handed it to Nolan.

"I said I hate it here." Nolan opened the bottle and gulped down half the water within. "Emily and I are the same, we've been the same for years. I'll burn this house down and we'll be the same that way too."

"You're talking crazy, Nolan."

"It's not crazy." Nolan snapped, then, "We were happy, we were going to be a family."

"And when she comes back you will be." Jack said, trying to reassure him as he took a seat in one of the opposite chairs.

"No. When she comes back I'll strangle her."

"Stop it, Nolan. We know you, and we all know you'd never hurt a woman."

Blue eyes darkened at the memory of that night, months ago now. "I did once, I hit Victoria after she set Emily's house on fire."

"I wouldn't call Victoria a woman, she's more like a snake."

"Yeah, a snake who's in a cage where she belongs." Declan put in after giving up on fixing himself a drink from what little remained in the wet bar. Nolan hadn't been lying, he'd drank it dry.

"You have no idea what she's capable of. I should have killed her." Nolan told them, rubbing his eyes. "The things she's done...she's a monster."

"I won't argue that, but you really need to sober up."

"Why? Hangovers only happen when you stop drinking."

Nolan crushed the empty water bottle in his hand, and then took out his cell to look in on Emily once more. The tiny figure on the screen wasn't doing anything interesting, she was only reading a book in her apartment, but seeing that only renewed his anger.

_She should be here, she should be home!_

"She left again, damn it!" Nolan burst out, and threw his cell against the wall.

"Jeez, Nolan, calm down! You'd think you've never been dumped before." Declan muttered as he righted an overturned ottoman and took a seat.

Charlotte had broken his heart with the way they'd ended things, but Declan hadn't trashed his house or spent days on a drinking binge...well, half of that was true, at least.

"Not by someone I wanted a real life with, and it's her." Nolan staggered into the kitchen and took another bottle of water. "I loved Marco, I did, but even with him I'd been keeping so many secrets, in the end we couldn't trust each other. But Emily...we know who we are with each other. I've never had that before and neither has she."

Declan raised his brows. He'd never heard Nolan talk about any of his exes outside of Tyler, so he had no idea of this Marco in comparison to his relationship with Emily, but he was starting to understand why he was so broken over the woman.

"Now we're getting to it. What happened, Nolan?" Declan asked him.

Jack was just as curious as his brother. He hadn't prodded the man with questions, given how they had locked horns on his learning of the relationship in the first place. Still, he was past that now. Nolan was his friend, he wanted to hear it from the man himself.

"She left after...no, I'm sorry, I can't. It's between us." Nolan pressed the cold water bottle to his forehead, trying to suppress his headache and the memories that threatened to rise and cripple him.

"You sure?" Jack asked.

"Emily and I haven't even talked about it, not really. I mean, I threw her in the pool and that snapped her out of it, but we didnt talk." Nolan loudly cracked his knuckles, making the brothers wince at the sound. "I know where she is but I'm not chasing her. She'll either face it or we'll both just be miserable forever."

"That's a hell of a choice." Jack said.

Nolan shrugged at the brothers. "I promise I won't hurt myself. You can leave."

"Somehow that's not reassuring. I'll take the couch." Jack told him firmly.

"What, am I on suicide watch?"

"Call it, we're just concerned." Declan said.

Nolan seemed to mull it over, but arrived at the decision that he was in no position to throw one Porter out of his house, let alone two. "Fine. I don't care. I'd offer you a drink, but I-"

"Drank the bar, we know. You told us." Declan waved at the blonde man's retreating back as he dragged himself upstairs to his room. "Sleep it off, Nolan, you'll feel better in the morning."

"Doubt it," Nolan called back before shutting the door and collapsing into his bed.

Declan turned to his brother. "He looks bad, jack."

"I know, but if he doesn't want to tell us then there's nothing we can do." Jack looked about the place, distaste plain on his face. "I don't want to leave him alone though."

Declan saw the same mess that Jack did, but he also saw an advanced X-box system, the prototype hologram television and the access codes for the blockbusters that wouldn't arrive in theaters for another six months.

"Right. So we'll just keep an eye on him here, in his mansion...what're friends for?"

______________________________

Emily stared at the ceiling, wanting sleep but knowing it would not come for her. It hadn't come to her since she lost the baby, and since leaving Nolan she had been unable to even rest her mind.

She had left the man with a letter explaining her need to be alone to heal, physically and mentally - to say nothing of her broken spirit. It was not enough that her father, her innocense, her home and her child had been ripped from her, she took the next step in tearing herself from Nolan. She didnt deserve his love, it pained her to know the grief she'd caused him, but she knew she couldn't stay away for much longer.

It had been weeks.

Weeks of her trying to sleep, to rest, and finding only guilt and regret instead. Emily dragged herself through the apartment, haunting it, hating it, and moved out of the bedroom.

It had become a sick routine of despair: everyday, she would read the paper, order in a bit of food to avoid going to the market or cooking, she would read a book, watch television and cry for her losses before retreating to her bedroom in the futile pursuit of rest.

Emily paused in the living room to look at her reflection. She had avoided mirrors, but something within was compelling her to look herself in the eye.

She had spent too long away, and searched herself for the courage to face the man she had left. She wanted to go back to him, even as she felt she deserved to suffer in her self-induced exile.

Emily stood before the glass for several minutes, noting the change in her appearance. Her face was thinner, paler, her hair was faded and limp, dark circles hung under her tired eyes. She looked as she felt: drained, grey and paralyzed. She sighed heavily and lowered her eyes, unable to look at herself any longer.

Something in the mirror caught her eye, and Emily lifted her head.

There it was again, a tiny pinprick of red light.

Emily furrowed her brows. "What's-?"

The point of light was there again, blinking in the glass.

Wait.

The light, that tiny point of light was blinking _behind_ the glass.

Curious now, and growing concerned, Emily lifted the mirror off its hook and checked the wall. There was nothing there. She carried the mirror into the kitchen and laid it on the floor. The light was still blinking in the glass.

Emily took an ice pick and brought it down hard against the glass. She didn't pay mind to the threat of bad luck in breaking the mirror, she had passed rock bottom weeks ago.

Carefully, she shifted through the shards until she found it. A tiny thing, no larger than a dime, and nearly as thin. She recognized it easily. Placed within the glass, the mirror that Nolan had given her years ago as a birthday gift, for God's sake, was a Nolcorp spy cam.

Emily knew he had installed the little beauties in his own home, but she hadn't expected him to overstep so far by wiring her apartment.

 _Then again, he has that habit._ She reminded herself with an ironic smile, recalling the whale cam he'd left on her cottage mantle.

The tiny camera was blinking between her fingers. She had only noticed it because she had paused before the mirror and angled her head in such a way, otherwise she never would have...

Emily set it on the counter and left the kitchen, her eyes roaming the apartment and all the tiny hiding places Nolan might have found for his cams.

They could be anywhere.

_You've always tried to look out for me, Nolan. You did it for dad at first, but then you did it for me. I don't deserve your love, but you don't deserve my abandonment. This ends tonight._

Steeling herself, Emily returned to the kitchen and spoke into the eye of the cam.

"I'm coming home."

______________________________

A bare handful of time found Emily back in the Hamptons. She had driven from the city straight back to the familiar surroundings of elegant boutiques, restaurants and cafes, all of them built with the charming, small-town facades. She sped past the Stowaway, her mind set on her path. Her stomach trembled with nerves.

There was no telling how Nolan would react when he saw her, and in truth she wasn't sure what she would do when she saw him. She only knew that she had to see him again, she couldn't let this go on, a ragged wound of emptiness between them. It was a wound she tore with her own cowardice.

_If he turns me away, if he hates me...then that's what I deserve for what I've put him through, but I can't keep running from him._

As she passed the Stowaway, Emily thought that, if Nolan turned her away, she could always come back and drown her sorrows at the bar.

All too soon, Emily found herself parked just outside the glass house on the cliff, the home of Nolan Ross for the past decade. A cold hand was squeezing her heart; she was terrified to face what she had done. Emily ran a hand over her face, suppressing the rising urge to flee.

_No. I'm finished running._

Swallowing her fear, Emily stepped into the house and called for the man.

"Nolan? Nolan, are you here?"

From what she could see, the house was largely unchanged. It appeared the same as when she'd left; Emily stepped into the guest room, expecting Nolan to have had the room drastically redecorated again, but it too was the same as it had been on the day she'd left.

Emily called for him again and again, but he never called back to her.

He was gone.

Emily stood in the center of Nolan's house, feeling like a stranger amid the ruin she had made of their lives. The man was gone, he wasn't in any of the rooms or in the backyard. She would have texted or called him, but the use of any technology seemed too impersonal.

Emily went upstairs to Nolan's room, and sank down onto the edge of his bed. She remembered her first day in his house, when he'd insisted she use his shower to wash away the evidence of the fire. She remembered tending to his burns, and then, how she'd surprised him with sensual intent their first night together, and how he surprised her.

Irrational as it was, and technically it could be called stealing, Emily took one of his shirts from the closet and buttoned it over her own top. The garment carried the mingling scents of _Light Blue_ cologne and the man himself.

_Nolan, where are you?_

She knew that he had been asking the same question of her since she had disappeared, this was the same torture of uncertainty that she she had put him through.

_I know you have to hate me, but please come back._

She wanted to see him, touch him, hear him.

Even if what she heard was his disgust with her cowardice, his words of rejection and hate for what she had done to him...well, she had earned it, she knew, and was ready to face the man.

But the man she sought was not in the house. He might be at his office in the city, but she doubted it, as she doubted Nolan had wandered far from home.

_His home away from home, then._

______________________________

The Stowaway was just as she remembered it, a rustic port bar, one of the few family-owned businesses that stood in the harbor. Decades past, her father had brought her here for fish and chips after moving into the beach house. This was where the Clarkes and the Porters had first met, here at this little bar on the bay.

Emily slid forward onto a barstool, silent as she watched Jack return to the bar from the back kitchen, a few orders on the tray he just handed to one of their newly-hired waitresses.

"Jack, hi."

Jack almost dropped a drink pitcher on seeing Emily sitting at the bar. She looked different, far from the way he recalled her, always done up and wearing clothes right out of the pages of a magazine for some gala or party thrown by the wealthy circle.

He wondered if Nolan had seen her yet. It dawned on him then that he hadn't spoken to her since the day she'd come into the Stowaway earlier that summer.

"I...hey stranger, where've you been?"

Emily paused for a moment, "I…I had to get away for a while. Do you know where Nolan is?"

Jack shrugged, at a loss. Her reappearance had taken him off guard, but more than that, he'd witnessed the fallout of her fleeing the Hamptons; that Emily appeared so casual while Nolan had been devastated put him in a mood that was less than hospitable.

"I haven't see him for a few days, but you're the expert on billionaires." Jack eyed her knowingly. "Maybe he had to get away too."

Emily raised her brows, worried about what Nolan might have said.

Why she had left, what she had lost...

"What're you saying?"

Jack came closer and braced his hands on the bar counter between them. He usually wanted nothing to do with people's personal problems, though of course as a bartender he'd heard it all. This was different, however. Despite the issues he had with both Emily and Nolan, at the end of the day he did truly care for them very much.

He wanted them to resolve things and he looked forward to a time when they could all raise a cup together. "Look, if you're just taking him for a ride like you did with me and Daniel, it needs to stop. The guy's been a wreck over you."

"I never – listen, you have no idea what's –"

Jack cut in, "Emily, you're right. I don't know what's really happening between the two of you, why you fought, why you left." He said quietly, trying to reassure her that Nolan hadn't shared any personal details. "But you kiss me, you break it off with Daniel right after and then I don't see you again for months. I mean, I thought we – and then out of nowhere you're with Nolan."

She didn't know what to say. "Jack, I'm sorry."

"Look, Emily, I'm not mad...well, not anymore. Other fish in the sea, right?" He reassured her. "Just find him."

Emily nodded, "I will. Goodbye, Jack."

Watching her leave the bar, intent to find the man, Jack couldn't stop himself from calling after her, "Emily."

She turned back, her eyes curious.

"You've been involved with Nolan since the beginning, haven't you?"

There was no hesitation in her answer.

"Yes."

______________________________

Emily left the Stowaway, spending the next several hours searching for Nolan in the town shops and along the shore. She was startled to receive the message that his cell phone had been disconnected after she had grown frustrated and given in to her dependence on technology. He never missed paying a bill, it had to have been that he'd somehow destroyed it. She wanted to believe it was only that he'd dropped his cell in the water, but she knew the man and his habit of throwing things a bit too well.

In the evening, Emily returned to the house. Autumn was already upon them, blowing chilled wind in from the sea. The house was dark inside as she stepped through the door and into the living room, calling for him once more.

"Nolan?"

His voice called back to her from the dark. She looked about but she could not see him. She shivered at the return of his surprisingly deep voice, once a smooth purr, there was an edge to it now.

"Oh, welcome back, Miss Thorne. You're looking well."

She shook her head. "I look awful."

Finally, he appeared in the doorway of the study, eyes cold and his words even colder. He came forward, straightened to his full height. The man walked a slow circle around Emily, assessing the damage that grief had done to her.

She was thinner, as he was, her face somewhat drawn and her hair windwhipped.

"Yeah, you do." Nolan shrugged, carefree words to cover the tension rising between them. "But then, so do I. How was your little vacation in the city?"

Emily fought to still her trembling. "Horrible, but you already know that. Why did you wire my apartment?"

"This is me we're talking about, remember? I need to see all and know all. I have trust issues, can't imagine why." He narrowed his eyes. "Is that my shirt?"

Emily looked down at herself, how ridiculous she must look with a man's Oxford shirt over her own top and jeans. "I came here earlier. You were gone."

"Yeah, I needed some fresh air. Like you. Nice of you to drop a line, by the way. What's it been, four weeks? I was almost ready to start shopping for your replacement."

"Nolan, please. I just needed time."

Nolan finally moved to face her. As he moved closer, Emily could see the anger in his eyes. "You know, call me naïve, but I really thought that once the Graysons were taken care of, you'd change – but you're just as selfish as you were when I met you outside the gates of Allenwood."

"Selfish?"

He moved closer, his voice gone ragged. "You think they only ruined your life, don't you? David was my friend – my only friend – and they took him away from me. I've committed a long list of felonies to protect your secrets – I've helped you through it all while you treated me like dirt most of the time and then, even after everything changed…you left. You left because you needed time."

Nolan wanted to hate her, but his anger was not as strong as his love.

Emily tried to find a defense for herself, but there was nothing she could say to justify the hell she had put this man through. "Nolan, I was so wrong for what I did. I've wanted to come back since the day I left, but I couldn't face you. Please, I tried to explain it to you in the note. I just had to get away from-"

"It was my baby too, Emily."

It was the voice of a broken man, his savage words shaming her into silence.

"When are you going to understand that you aren't the only one suffering here?"

And then he was there, holding her, his arms bringing her in, bringing her home, his face against hers, their tears mingling.

They held each other in their pain, claiming each other so that they might heal as one.

______________________________

**3 years later**

They stood, facing each other on the street, for the first time in years.

Daniel looked at her, Emily Thorne, the girl who had moved in next door and captured his heart in one swift summer of love. He had had other women in the years since her, but a piece of him would always long for her, the one that got away.

The man watched her, unable to tear his eyes away as she stood before him. She wore a white summer dress with her bright hair in curls, looking so like she had on the day they met, save for the simple diamond on her left hand.

He had seen her walking beside the other man, their arms linked, and he couldn't stop the petty thought that the ring he had given Emily, years ago, had been a bigger, more striking stone.

They faced each other, an unspoken understanding blossoming between them.

"Nolan was never just your friend, was he?"

Emily was free now, and had no reason to lie. "No."

Daniel's sharp eyes took in the sight of Nolan, who looked just as he remembered him, with his bright hair grown long enough to brush the popped collar of his even brighter polo.

The older man was across the street, standing before a boardwalk flower cart, unchanged from the last time Daniel saw him but for the giggling toddler in his arms. He watched as Nolan smiled at the child, bouncing her in his arms for a moment before tickling her nose with the petals of a pale pink daisy.

Daniel recognized the blue eyes and the blonde curls topping the baby's head.

"There's only one thing I want to know, Emily. Are you happy?"

Emily took a moment to consider the question. Glancing over to see Nolan kneeling before Kara, he presented their girl with a flower. His smile was as wide as the toddler's, his heart greater than any other she'd ever known. He had given her everything, and finally, Emily had been able to give him the same.

There was only one answer to give.

"Yes."

Emily turned away from him then, away from Daniel, away from the Graysons and her every dark memory of the Hamptons. They were a deep part of her past, powerless against her now and wholly beneath her concern in the face of her new life.

Giving no thought to anything but her family, Emily returned to Nolan's side at the end of the pier.


End file.
